Razorblade Kisses(109)

She closed the door of the white sedan she’d rented for the drive, but instead of walking toward him, she hovered near the safety of the car. They consumed each other with their eyes without saying a word. It reminded her of when she first met him. The attraction, the connection, was instant and it was still sizzling.

“Now that’s a view.” Her voice shook a little as she gazed at him over the roof of the car. She was nervous, but moved first, walking around the back of the car toward him as they continued to stare at each other.

She kicked the dirt with the toe of her running shoe. The million things she wanted to say swirled in her mind and she didn’t know where to start.

“You look good,” he said, cutting through her inner debate.

Instead of responding, her entire body crumbled at his voice and she began sobbing as she crumbled to the sand. Emery felt his hot, sweaty arms wrap around her and it immediately calmed her.

Tim ran his hands over her hair, her shoulders, and her arms like he was making sure she wasn’t a figment of his imagination. “Is this real?” Tim asked in a voice Emery didn’t recognize. He clung to her with such fervor she was scared it meant that he didn’t want her. “Where have you been?”

“Key West.”

“Why?” he whispered.

“Waiting to die.”

Her words hung in the air and she could tell they changed him. His face softened and he knew she was telling the truth.

“Emery…”

Her real name felt foreign on his lips. She didn’t think she liked it, but she snapped her eyes to meet his immediately. Her body shook with her sobs and he held her tighter. “I’m so fucking sorry, Tim. I…”

He picked her up and walked through the garage, past his truck and another car parked there. He kicked open the door and walked into the den, with its flat screen TV and four different couches. He sat and cradled her in his arms, where she belonged. She cried and he let her.

“You came back,” he whispered in her ear.

Her arms tightened around his neck and her cries grew quiet. “I’m sorry,” she repeated softly.

“You came back.”

Emery pulled back from him and took him in. His hair was disheveled and wet from sweat, his eyes bright and tinged red from unshed tears. “You wanted me to?”

He crushed his lips against hers. Their tongues tangled, getting reacquainted quickly. She tore herself away from him and gazed into his eyes.

“I’m…”

“Emma, shit…I mean, can I call you that, even…” He’d been practicing so he wouldn’t slip, but one kiss and he’d messed up her name. “You’re alive.”

She cocked her head to the side and examined his face, unsure how to respond. He tried again.

“I love you. I don’t care what your name is or that you lied about it. I understand and it means nothing to me. What happened to you, your past—I’m okay with everything. I just…fuck. I don’t know how to tell you how much you mean to me.”

“Tim,” she whispered, regret showing on her face.

“You chose to survive, Emery,” he finally said, using her real name again. “You chose a beautiful way to survive, helping kids who couldn’t help themselves.”

“I’m a coward. I run from everything. I—”

He took her face in his hands. “You are none of those things and I plan on showing you that every fucking day.”

A tear fell from her eye and he kissed it away.

“Are you real?” Emery whispered, not wanting to break the moment with her voice.

Since she was sitting on his lap, he grinded a reminder he was real into her. “That feels pretty real, huh?” he said with a wink.

“You’re crazy.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought that over the last six months.”

“I wish I could’ve stayed and told you everything myself,” she admitted, hanging her head. “I wish I wasn’t a coward, but I thought it was the best for everyone.”

“You thought leaving me without a word was best for me?”

She nodded.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because my life is toxic and I didn’t want that for you. You’re so…”

Tim waited for her to find the right word, running his hands all over her body while he did, causing tingles of heat to rise and fluster her.

“What I need,” she finished. “You’re so what I need. That may not make any sense, but I love you and I’ve never loved anyone before. I need you and I’ve never allowed myself to need anyone other than Rachel. Every day without you was torture. I felt lost and without a heart. I don’t know what you did to me, but you have my heart. All of it. The only way my heart beats is when you are in my life.” She looked up, making sure he met her gaze. “I was waiting to die, Tim. I wanted it to come soon. I urged it to come soon.”