CHAPTER ONE
Illusions
Emery’s mother was throwing her an absurdly huge Sweet Sixteen birthday party today. It was stupid. Her real birthday was three days ago. The party was at her house, complete with photo booth and jump castle for her “friends,” most of them getting either drunk or high before coming. As she walked by the jump castle—rented for her little sister’s friends, but a hit with everyone—she smiled her perfectly polite smile.
“Hey, Emery come jump with us!” Jeff Higgins, a guy she’d attended school with her entire life, yelled.
“Yeah, Emery, let us see what’s under that tight little dress of yours!” some asshole from school called out from the inflatable castle.
“That’s the only way you’ll see under her dress, dipshit,” a faceless guy taunted.
They all laughed, but her smile never wavered; never once did her mask slip as she shook her head. Perfectly polite Emery Shaw, that’s about all anyone could say about her. That’s all she was to them.
On the inside, she was a complete void. She had no real friends at her school, but tons of superficial acquaintances. The party hadn’t been her idea. She let her mother dictate most things in her life and this ridiculous celebration was no exception. She just didn’t care—no, couldn’t care—about anything except surviving.
Her sister was running around with some of her friends, chasing each other with glow sticks. A smile skated across Emery’s lips, but fell off immediately when she saw Phil’s gaze on her. Emery looked around to ensure no one was watching and shot him the bird, her stomach clenching at his gaze. The smirk stayed on his face as she started moving out of his line of sight.
Ashley, Emery’s nine-year-old sister, stopped running and grabbed her hand. “Hey, Em, let’s go out front. You want to?”
“Sure,” Emery agreed. She could never say no to her sister.
Before they could disappear, her mother brought the birthday cake out.
“Oh good God,” Emery muttered, still holding Ashley’s hand.
“What?” Ashley protested. “It’s amazing! Look at the tiers! It looks just like a wedding cake.”
“Ugh.” Emery shook her head. It did look like a wedding cake. The cake was a multiple level white chocolate cake adorned with strawberries. Everything was extravagant and exactly like her mother wanted. Emery didn’t even like white chocolate. Not that her mother asked.
Doing precisely what she was expected to do, as always, she blew out the candles and made a wish. Please let me escape.
The candles that covered the top tier of the cake glowed after she’d blown them out. As Emery took a bite of her cake, her mother signaled everyone to be quiet by tapping on her ever-present wine glass. The caterers passed out pieces to the guests.
“People!” her mother called, demanding everyone’s attention. “I can’t believe I’m old enough to have a child that is turning sixteen.” She smiled tightly as she looked at Emery, a restless murmuring beginning in the crowd as people remarked on the taste of the dessert. “I’m so happy everyone has been able to enjoy our celebration for Emery’s Sweet Sixteen. I think there might be something special for my Emery out front,” she finished elegantly.
The entire crowd took off toward the driveway, discarding cake and plates as they went. Emery smiled with what she hoped looked like excitement. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Phil take her mother’s hand and lean in to whisper something in her ear. A shudder racked her entire body.
“Come on, Em!” Ashley yelled, pulling her to run with the crowd and shaking her out of her panic.
“Emery!” her mother called from behind where Emery and Ashley were running. They both stopped and her mother draped a black Hermes scarf around Emery’s eyes.
“Mom, do we really have to do this?” she asked, her question nothing more than a whisper. She clamped her mouth shut when she smelled him. Her stomach twisted and she tried to keep down the cake she’d just eaten.
“Yes, Emery.”
His voice caused fear to travel down her spine. She wondered if he could smell it.
“Come on!” Ashley pulled her hand and Emery willingly let herself be dragged away from the fear that ate away at her soul.
Fear was her constant companion. It drove her decisions, her withdrawal from life, and filled her nights. Those few minutes when she lay in her bed in the dark but before she tumbled weightlessly into sleep were the worst. The quiet filling her ears and the feeling of the world falling away almost caused panic attacks for her. She shook the fear away and came back to the here and now.