Never Been Loved(112)

So I gambled on this. All her boys know, and so does her girl, Katie. She’s the one that set this up for me, even though she put me through the third degree and wanted to know timelines of our future together, like she was waiting for a countdown.

I might die tonight, and I’ll take every punch because I deserve it.

I love that Sera’s friends have her back, but tonight I’m the enemy.

I’m wading into an ocean filled with sharks, already wounded.

I’m in this Greek restaurant, at Alex’s engagement party. There’s a dancefloor and everyone is doing their thing.

Christ, my girl’s dancing. Dancing this weird dance that involves shots on the ground and the music isn’t in any language I’ve ever heard, but she’s moving, losing herself to the beat.

When she squats down and gets a shot off the dancefloor and salutes Alex - and Teresa? – with it, she’s so fucking beautiful, so radiant that it’s a wonder how she wants me. I’m hers though, and God, I want her to be mine.

Sera’s wearing a tight black dress, and it’s got me sucker-punched in the gut. She’s lost weight, and while her cheekbones are starker in her face and her eyes look brighter, her curves are less than what they were – she looks like a complete stranger to me.

She’s got to be in there, still. She has to be, or I just fucked myself over for the rest of my life, and the kid will never forgive me.

When she stands straight, she looks over at me, her face stoic and calm. You’d think she was looking at someone she doesn’t know, and doesn’t give a shit about.

I get my hands in my pockets so she can’t see them shaking.

Now everyone knows I’m here since my girl’s stopped dancing in the middle of the floor, despite the music coming back on after her song ended. She looks over at Katie and they get into it, my girl’s face all twisted in pain and hurt.

It still floors me. I didn’t expect her to come running into my arms, but fuck, this hurts a lot. Can I drink acid instead?

Sera’s guided over to me, and Katie points a finger at me like she’s thinking about stabbing it through my ribcage and right into my heart.

“Don’t fuck this up. I’m giving you a diamond opportunity here, MacLaine. She better be nothing but fucking ecstatic next time I come around to see the pair of you.”

She drags Sera over to a table and I follow.

“Play nice, and I’ll be back in twenty to check on you. Sweetie,” Katie says to Sera, “make me proud.”

Now we’re alone.

“You... you look good,” I say, and want to hit my head against the table. I don’t deserve to have a brain. But I figure I should start out with some sort of compliment. Then again, I’m not the smart one at this table.

“Good to know,” she says, hardly loud enough for me to hear over the music. Why did I choose to do this here again? She’s looking down at her hands, though, and it looks like they’re more interesting than anything I’ll have to say. “Why are you here? Why did you come here?”

“Would you look at me, Sera, please?” Please look at me, baby.

That makes her lift her head. Christ, her eyes, everything about her. I’ve hurt her, again, when I promised not to. I get caught by the perfection of her mouth, and stare for a minute too long, watch her lick her lips slowly.

Fuck, this isn’t going to be easy.

Fight now, rest later. Fight for her, and she’ll help you win.

“I came here tonight because I asked Katie to set this up for me.”

I get more comfortable in the booth, crossing my arms in front of me and planting them on the table.

“She called me, something about snooping in your phone for my number. Doesn’t matter at this point, I’m here now. With you.” I breathe out, trying to get my fisted hands from shaking all over the damn place. “I want you to know that I’ve been cut out of my mother’s will.” Okay, I didn’t mean to lead with that, but here we go.

“What the fuck?” She slams her fists on the table, and I can’t hide my shock. “You do not lead with that fucking little fact three weeks after you cheated on me with her, MacLaine,” she says through a clenched jaw.

I want to be Hunt again.

Why the hell is she calling me MacLaine?

I get my arms tighter around my chest and force myself to focus. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I fuck up a lot, and I don’t want this to be another score against me.

“I miss you,” I say, but it comes out strangled.

She snorts. “Yeah, you look real broken up.” She shakes her head. “What’s going to happen to Matty now? Why didn’t you just take the money? Jesus, why are you here? I was having a good time. And you ruined everything. Matty’s not my problem. You’re not my problem anymore.”