Never Been Loved(114)

“She was so smart, hilarious and sweet. She would’ve been a great mom once she got clean. And she would have loved you, loved the way you take care of her son.

“Because she followed me around—because I was a spineless fuck who thought drugs and drinking were a better way of dealing with my fucked up body—I got my sister hooked into drugs. I was out of my mind with my own misery, I couldn’t see what was going on around me, I wouldn’t see because I was a selfish kid who should’ve known better.”

I struggle to keep calm, trying not to get sucked into the past. I want to be here, now, with my girl.

Sera’s eyes are huge in her face, and her mouth is opened in that waiting-for-a-kiss look that has a burning pain torching me from the inside out.

“By the time she was twenty-five she was a full-on junkie until she OD’d in an alleyway while Matty was in his crib at my parent’s place. That night I became a father and I wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing at all.

“I was so fucking angry. Why couldn’t I have gotten her help, why didn’t she just listen to me once I got clean?”

Sera’s closed her eyes. “Sometimes, listening is the hardest thing to do when you don’t believe a word someone says.”

Oh, baby. Is that’s what been happening?

“I’m so sorry. About everything. God, I love you.”

Needing to move, I tug on our hands, round the table and get her standing in front of me.

“You can’t just show up and say a few words and expect everything to be okay,” she says “You need to get your life straight, Hunter, and I can’t do that for you. You need to help yourself first. I’m sorry.”

She’s fighting me again. Why is she fighting me?

Looks like you have your answer, MacLaine. You don’t deserve her, anyway.

I wanted to be given the chance to.

I don’t make eye contact with anyone as Sera walks away from me for the last time. Nothing I do will get her back to me.

You’re supposed to fight, asshole.

Not when she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I can’t force her to love me.

I contemplate going back home and drinking myself into a stupor. Maybe then I’ll forget about Sera for a while. Maybe then I’ll forget about her nerd references, her jokes, and the way she came into my life.

Maybe I’ll forget all about Sera being my superhero.

I don’t think I’ve got enough beer at home to deal with that.



I’m staring into my fridge. I resisted the urge to drop by the dep and get a two-four of Heineken on my way back home.

The thing is, I don’t want to forget about Sera. Maybe I’ll just numb myself out on shitty TV. Maybe I’ll watch an episode of Supernatural to finally figure out what the hell Sera was talking about.

Yeah, maybe I’ll swallow some bleach, too.

Idiot.

I’m making my way into the living room when I hear the knock on the door. I get over to it, practically braining myself on the fake wood, and open it, standing in the doorway in absolute shock.

Sera’s standing there, in that hot-as-fuck dress; her eyes are wide and her lips are parted like she’s waiting for my mouth. It’s enough to get all my blood flowing to my dick, and losing whatever I had in my head.

She falls forward, her hands going to my chest as she walks in, and thinking I’m dreaming, I wrap my arms around her, making sure she’s real and I’m not hallucinating.

“Kiss me, Hunter. Kiss me like I’m the only you’ll ever want.”

Thank you, Jules. I know you swayed the Big Man. Thank you.

I get my hands on her cheeks, tilting her face up and get her mouth against mine. It’s been three fucking weeks without her, without her laughing, without her vanilla sugar smell. It’s been three weeks without her smiling at me, or not even blinking an eye when I need a juice.

Fuck, I missed her, and without saying anything, I tell her.

I learn her mouth all over again, tasting, licking, figuring out what she likes but I never forgot. My arms are at her lower back, and I move a hand dawn to palm her ass, pressing us closer, and Jesus Christ, she hits me everywhere in just the right place.

“I love you,” I whisper, after pulling back, going for that spot at the corner of her mouth. “I love you.” I kiss her cheek. “I love you,” I say, kissing that spot underneath her ear.

“I know you didn’t cheat on me. I… I guess I used it as an excuse. This whole time we were together… I thought it was too good to be true, you know? That I was going to mess it up and you’d leave me,” Sera says, then reaches for my arm. “We’re all self-fulfilling prophecies. I’m sorry, too. I’m going to need to get used to this, to us. It’s your turn not to give up on me, okay?”