Nerd Girl(124)

“Speaking of fattening foods, you should eat another one. You’ve lost some weight,” Anna pointed out.

“And that’s bad because …?”

“I’m just worried about you, Jules.” Anna’s eyes narrowed. “I mean, you quit your job, which is kind of a big deal for you.”

“I have a job. I told you, I’m officially my own company,” I said, sounding bored. It wasn’t worth arguing with Anna to convince her that this wasn’t just a temp job from some body-shop agency.

“You don’t eat,” she continued.

“I’m eating a very fattening ham and cheese croissant right now. Next topic.”

“You’re being anti-social. You don’t go out with anybody.”

“I hang out with you and Ethan all the time.”

“We don’t count. We’re newlyweds and frankly, we haven’t had much time alone since you got back from London,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me.

What she was saying was true. I’d been spending most of my evenings at Anna’s house. I would eat dinner with them and then head home afterwards. I just didn’t want to be alone because whenever I had too much solitary time, my thoughts took me to a place I didn’t want to be reminded of. It was those quiet times alone when I missed Ryan the most. My heart would ache so much it physically hurt and felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“You guys dated for five years, you’ve had plenty of time to be alone,” I said dryly. I only said this because I knew she really didn’t mind that I was coming over all the time. It was just her attempt at trying to get me to be more social with others.

“All you do is run and work,” Anna continued.

I nodded. “Yup.”

Anna studied me and then finally blew out an exasperated breath. “Okay, fine. Next topic. I have someone I’d like to set you up with. He works in Ethan’s office. I met him at a dinner party when you were in London. He’s thirty-two and totally hot. He used to play soccer at the UW. I thought I would wait a few weeks before springing him on you.” She had a mischievous grin on her face. “What do you think about a double date next weekend?”

My eyes widened and I looked at her incredulously. “Are you serious? It’s only been six weeks and I’ve been dumped twice this year! That at least allows me a few months to wallow in my own misery and spend a lot of money on random things and not think about men … at all!” I argued angrily. “I don’t need another rejection right now. If you haven’t figured it out yet, my ego is at an all-time low. So no! Totally no!” I exclaimed emphatically. I mean, was she really that clueless about my current state of mind? Of course she was. That was Anna for you; the girl who had never been dumped.

“Well, that’s just it, Jules. There’s nothing better to boost your ego than a rebound guy. It doesn’t have to be serious. Just flirt, get laid, have some fun, feel attractive again. I mean, your new hairdo is awesome and sexy. You look great, so just get out there again.”

“Anna, you just need to lay off for a while on this, okay? I’m serious. I’m not ready yet,” I whined.

“Jules, you’re turning into a hermit. You’re twenty-nine years old. These are your prime dating years. Remember your work back schedule?”

“Ugh! Seriously, Anna, do you really have to remind me of—”

Just then, Anna’s eyes bulged and practically doubled in size. I stopped talking and turned my head to follow her gaze. Ryan was walking into the cafe.

He noticed Anna first, since she was the one facing the door. The bakery café wasn’t large. It had only eight small tables and a bar of chairs facing a counter along a windowed wall. There were some sofas near the back of the café, but we weren’t sitting there. We were sitting in one of the tables near the front of the cafe. Anna and I were hard to miss. It only took a split second for Ryan to realize that I was sitting across from Anna.

When our eyes met, it was as if time had stopped and there was some vortex tunnel between Ryan and me. Every sound and sensory stimulation just got sucked out of it and there was only the two of us. Ryan was obviously taken by surprise and stood frozen. The gaping hole in my chest took on a heartbeat again. It started thumping so loudly I was afraid the whole cafe could hear it. Then the vortex disappeared as fast as it arrived. Catherine entered my field of vision as she trailed in the door a few seconds behind him. She halted when she realized who Ryan was staring at.

I turned back around quickly and started to breathe shallow, pained breaths. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I should’ve known this was going to happen at some point. Sometimes Queen Anne felt like a small neighborhood; I was always bumping into people I knew. I looked at Anna, panicked.