Nerd Girl(121)

I texted Anna when I landed at SeaTac, but I was still excited when I walked out onto the curb and saw her waiting for me. I noticed her right away, waving at me from further up the street. She popped open the trunk of her silver Saab and came around the back of the car to hug me.

“How was the flight?” she asked cheerfully.

“Relatively painless. First class has its benefits,” I replied appreciatively.

Anna arched an eyebrow. She still thought I was crazy for paying $2400 on a spur of the moment ticket. I ignored her disapproval and proceeded to stuff my luggage into the trunk of her car.

“How were Dexter and Jamie?” she asked when we were on the freeway.

“They’re great,” I said. I looked out the window and furrowed my brow. Coming back to Seattle actually felt daunting. I could no longer avoid what I knew would be an uphill battle towards forgetting Ryan. My week in London was merely a temporary distraction. From the moment I stepped my foot back into Washington state, I realized I was only postponing and numbing the inevitable pain that came from the gaping hole in my chest.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Anna asked me curiously. “You just spent $2400 on a trip to London. Please tell me it was worth it.”

I instantly felt guilty for not being more engaged in the conversation. “Sorry,” I said regretfully. “I was just thinking of something else.” I shook my head, telling myself to snap out of it and focus on the conversation. I revised my previous answer. “They were really great. They did their best to prevent me from wallowing in self-pity. They made sure to keep me busy, even when I didn’t want to be. Gay men really know how to have fun and do it in style,” I said, trying to sound a tad more cheerful.

Anna actually laughed. It looked like I’d been forgiven. “So, was this diversion successful?” she asked, arching her eyebrow.

I heard some reservation in her voice. She knew my habit of escapism whenever my spirit needed healing. Unfortunately, I’d made it such a habit, that it’s become quite predictable to everyone.

I looked back out the window and sighed loudly. “I don’t think any diversion is going to help me this time. It was just time filler.”

“But time filling is good, right? I mean, I think it was good for you to get some space, to wake up and breathe some different air for a few days, to go somewhere where you wouldn’t be reminded of him.” Apparently she didn’t want to say his name either. “It certainly didn’t hurt, did it?”

“No, it didn’t hurt. I wish Dexter was single and heterosexual, though. He would be the love of my life.” I smiled, remembering our week together affectionately.

Anna smiled with me. “Mom just about blew a gasket when I told her you were in London,” she said, somewhat peeved.

I rolled my eyes, dreading what was sure to be a long lecture.

“Why didn’t you call her and let her know you were going?”

“I figured you would,” I whined, contorting my face into a guilty grimace. “I’m sorry. I totally owe you one.”

“Just one?” Anna huffed out a breath that sounded almost like a snort. “You left me to do the dirty work!”

“What did you tell her?” I asked anxiously.

“I told her everything,” Anna said defiantly.

I glared back at her with my mouth open. “You did not.”

“If you didn’t want her to know, then you should’ve called her yourself and given her your version,” Anna argued.

“My version would’ve been without all of the sordid details. It would’ve been something more generic like, we just weren’t compatible. Mom’s left me a couple of messages. I think she thinks I’m going to have a breakdown or something.”

“Can you blame her?” Anna asked, defending Mom. “I mean, you did take off to another country without any warning.”

I was starting to feel guilty now and Anna knew it. “She’s just worried about you, Julia, that’s all. You’re her daughter.”

I blew some hair out of my face. “I know. I owe her an apology.” I looked at Anna and admitted guiltily, “I owe you one, too, Anna. I’m sorry for making you do all of my dirty work. You know I love you and appreciate you, right?” I gave her my best apologetic puppy dog look.

She gave me a wry look, but couldn’t help smiling. “Well, you can apologize to Mom in about an hour.”

I looked at her inquisitively, raising an eyebrow in question.

“We’re meeting her at Habitude in Ballard,” she said with a grin. “I know you’re probably tired, but to help fight your jet lag, we’re going to have a girl’s afternoon at the spa. And Mom said she’s paying.” She briefly pulled both her hands from the steering wheel to motion a little clap with her fingertips.