Forever Dark(80)

It’s another hour of press and autographs before I see him again. He’s showered now and smells so good. I spot him just outside the locker room, still a herd of people surrounding him. He’s struggling to get away from them when I catch his heated gaze on mine. I stand with my back pressed into the concrete wall and smile, waiting.

Saylor walks up to Cash and throws him over his shoulder. I know Cash is near two hundred pounds so that couldn’t have been easy but Saylor does this with little effort.

He carries him over to me. “This boy needs to talk to you. He’s been talking about you all day and frankly I’m tired of it.” He sets him down, runs his hand over his head like he’s some kind of caring mother and pats his back and then his head again.

Cash rolls his eyes. “That’s not true.”

“Don’t say anything stupid.” Saylor pats his head again.

We both laugh as Saylor takes off back down the hall towards the locker room where the rest of the players are gathered.

“Hey,” Cash says, winking at me. “Good game, huh?”

“Interesting game. Those were some hard hits but you played so well. Cash,” I step forward slightly, “I mean it, I can’t believe how good you are.”

He smiles.

A group of students approach, all girls and push their chests out as they come face-to-face with Cash. “Cash! Can you sign our shirts?”

I see they’re all wearing hoodies with his name on them.

Cute.

Cash surprises me and leans into me, his arm wraps around me. “Yeah, sure,” but he keeps that one arm around me. His silent gesture to them, to anyone he’s taken. They all talk about the game with him, offer their support and congratulations. He smiles politely, thanks them and then asks me to follow him.

We’re down the hall in the other direction near the bathrooms. He takes me down another hallway to a dark area of the stadium where there are no crowds.

“Thank you for coming.” He says, smiling, knowing this was the first game I’d been to since high school.

“It was nice seeing you play again.” I admit, because it was. I motion around the stadium. “I forgot how much I missed this.”

“Kiss me.” He’s not wasting any time. “Please.” He sighs, “I just really need you to kiss me because you want to. Not because I’m here begging you, but because you want to.”

He’s never asked me to kiss him but I can gather it’s probably because of that kiss before the game.

I do. His lips are cool against the heat of my mouth, no doubt because I’ve been thinking of that kiss for hours. It’s not a tentative kiss, but it’s also not gentle by any means. It’s exactly the way Cash is. Full of passion.

He sighs into my mouth, pulling back and then takes my hand with a wink.

He’s leaving a little to be desired.

We walk towards the field and see Landon and Macy out there. We’re probably not supposed to be out here but we are.

“I know this sounds weird.” I say, looking out to the field because I can’t bear to look at his eyes right now. There’s too much emotion in them. “But you saved me.”

“When?” he asks, his hands buried in his hoodie but his eyes drifting to mine.

“When you told me I was worth it. After all the shit I put you through, you still thought I was worth it. That meant something to me.”

He smiles.

Just smiles.

“Thank you for giving me everything I wanted when I didn’t know what that was. You gave me a love that consumed me in ways I never expected, a love that got me through the dark.”

“Tell me.” He says softly running his fingers over my collarbone that’s slightly exposed from my hands being in my hoodie.

I do as he says. “I love you.”

His warm arms wrap around me, so secure, tight and strong.

I believe that sometimes the tortured dark path is the correct one, as crazy as that sounds. I believe it because it tests you in ways that show you what you’re capable of. How strong you can be.



December 31, 2013



I had to fly back to Eugene with Macy and Landon while Cash flew back with the team. It was the longest seven hours of my life waiting to get back to him. Instead of going back to the school, Cash came home to Canby where I was. Where everyone was going to celebrate New Year’s Eve together.

No drinking.

“I missed these mornings,” I say struggling to get my clothes off.

Cash laughs but he’s barely controlled right now as we stumble around his bedroom, drawing back to remove his shirt. He looks at my lips and then my eyes before clearing his throat softly. “Me too.”

I’m naked before him, exposed completely and thankfully there will be no interruptions. My eyes move over Cash’s body and I reach between us stroking him once.