Weight of Silence(29)

He hadn’t known that, actually. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re not out to your friends and family, and I won’t be mad if you’d rather I didn’t accept Molly’s invitation, which I don’t think was sincere, anyway.”

“Rachel knows.”

Gavin faltered, unsure which part of his statement Jace was addressing. “Rachel knows what?”

Jace glanced around, but the few other people out braving the sub-freezing temperatures weren’t paying them any attention. “About me. About us. Apparently, she figured me out a while ago and was waiting for me to say something.”

He was out to his twin. That was a good start. “Cool. I mean, I guess she’s cool with it all?”

“She’s cool with me being gay, yes.”

Danger alert. “But not with us?”

Jace lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “She just doesn’t know you. When she does, she’ll change her mind.”

“About what, exactly?” Normally, the judgments of near-strangers didn’t bother Gavin all that much. His father was an abusive deadbeat, and both he and his mother worked minimum wage jobs. They lived in a crappy trailer in the poor side of town. Jace’s family was firmly middle-class, nudging their way toward upper-middle, with three kids and an actual picket fence. He and Jace came from two very different worlds.

And when they were together, none of that mattered. He really hoped those differences didn’t start mattering to Jace.

“She doesn’t like that you’re friends with Casper.”

Gavin frowned, about to ask why the hell not when he understood. “The Laundromat fire.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, Jace, I’ve known Casper since middle school. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, and yes, he’s done his fair share of stupid shit. But I really don’t see him starting a fire that could have hurt a lot of people. He’s not that cold.”

“It’s Rachel’s issue,” Jace said. “Forget it. Besides, you’re going to be late getting back to work.”

Gavin eyed him but didn’t argue. “Okay. Want me to call you when I get off?”

Jace grinned. “Definitely.”

Unable to kiss him goodbye, Gavin settled for returning the smile and winking. He watched Jace limp back in the other direction, observing the slim body and hunched shoulders until Jace turned the block and was gone. Then he checked his watch. Ten minutes over his break time.

Crap. Theresa wouldn’t be mad, but she’d make him stay longer to make up for it. And he was really looking forward to getting off work now.





Chapter Eight

Jace probably shouldn’t have walked all the way to Mineo’s with his knee so sore, and he paid for it on the walk back. He downed a couple of ibuprofen, then parked himself on the couch with an ice pack and spent the next two hours mindlessly surfing the television. Nothing caught his attention and his thoughts kept drifting back to lunch. Gavin had an unexpected way of putting things in perspective for Jace. Maybe because he was a few years older and he hadn’t had the same sheltered upbringing as Jace.

In many ways, Jace was privileged. He lived in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with nice, middle-class parents who both held good, full-time jobs. He’d never had to buy second-hand clothes or toys. He and his sisters weren’t spoiled by any means, but they’d never really gone without. Not like Gavin—no supportive father around, a mother who worked herself to the bone, the bare minimum of things around him in that small, cozy trailer they shared.

He envied Gavin’s life sometimes. Gavin was comfortable with himself, his sexuality and his place in the world. He could do so much more with himself if he could settle down and focus—of this, Jace had no doubts. Gavin was smart and he was damned talented when it came to drawing real life. Looking at those sketchbooks had been like opening a window into Gavin’s brain and seeing the world though his eyes. Everything was slightly longer, a little exaggerated, but still perfectly recognizable.

Jace didn’t even recognize himself most days.

His phone beeped a little after two with a text from Gavin. Pick u up in 10 min?

Jace texted back an affirmative reply. He tossed the ice pack back into the freezer then scrawled a note on the dry erase board that hung on the refrigerator so his parents would know he was out. He’d apologize to his mom when he saw her tonight. She definitely deserved it after the way he’d acted at dinner. But he was tired. Tired of pretending he was fine, that he was normal, and that he still wanted anything to do with a college degree.

At least when he was with Gavin, he felt less tired, less abnormal.