Weight of Silence(32)

Jace plucked at the top of the bedspread, while one shoulder rose in a shrug. “I guess. No, yes, I am.” He looked up, his blue eyes cloudy and unfocused. “I mean, how do you say, ‘Hey, Mom and Dad, I’m quitting college to drive around the country, and by the way, I like cock’?”

“I don’t think I’d come out by phrasing it as ‘I like cock’.“

His mouth twitched at the joke attempt. “I just…they won’t take me leaving school well, and to heap being gay on top of that…I don’t want my dad to be disappointed in me.”

“Why do you think he’ll be disappointed in you?”

“The usual. I’m a quitter, I’m not a man, I won’t have kids and pass on the family name, blah, blah, bullshit.”

Even though Gavin was the one not wearing clothes, he’d never seen Jace more naked. He slid across the bed and draped an arm around Jace’s shoulders, glad when the slim body leaned against him.

“Listen,” Gavin said, “I’m no expert in dads. Mine was an asshole, and he was never there when it mattered. But your dad doesn’t seem like that. I mean, he’s friends with Sam and Rey, right?”

“That’s not the same as having a gay kid.”

“No, but at least you know he’s not a total bigot. Your family is pretty cool. They’re not going to kick you out, or turn their backs on you.” A tremor ran down the length of Jace’s body, and Gavin held him tighter. “Besides, you’ll always have a place here, no matter what happens.”

Jace’s head snapped up so fast he nearly clipped Gavin’s chin. Hope and uncertainty flooded his eyes, making them wider and brighter than usual. “Really?” He made the single word sound so heartbreakingly desperate that Gavin wanted to bundle him up and keep him safe from everything that was trying to hurt him.

“Definitely. I care about you.” Gavin couldn’t believe he’d actually said that, but it was out and he couldn’t take it back.

“Me too.” Jace smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Listen, if you don’t want to go back to school, I think you should tell your parents sooner, rather than later. Coming out can wait, if you don’t want to deal with both things at once.”

“But waiting means hiding this. Us. You.”

“For a little while.” He cradled Jace’s cheek in the palm of his hand, a little off-balance by the tender feelings rising up, demanding he protect Jace from the demons haunting him. Protect him from the world. “I’d rather hide it than not have it at all.”

Jace pressed into his touch then angled his head to kiss him. Jace’s tongue slid into his mouth, licking and tasting, and Gavin groaned into the kiss. He wrestled Jace onto his back then out of his clothes. His left knee was wrapped in an ACE bandage, but the skin around it didn’t look swollen. Gavin settled his weight on Jace, aligning their hips so Jace’s hard cock pressed against the ridges of their abs. His own cock was making a slow comeback and would be in service sooner than he expected given how hard he’d come not five minutes ago.

He kissed Jace again, while he began a slow slide against him, a teasing pressure that wouldn’t get him off too fast. Jace thrust up, trying to increase the pace and having no angle to do so. He raked his fingertips down Gavin’s back, not hard enough to scratch, but enough to feel it. His hands landed on Gavin’s ass and squeezed, encouraging him. His fingertips strayed closer to the cleft of his ass than they’d ever gone before, and Gavin groaned into his mouth, a flood of pleasure lighting him up from the touch.

In all of their sexy times together, Jace seemed hesitant to shift things from their cocks to their asses, and Gavin understood the hesitation. Anal sex was a big step, and it wasn’t something everyone liked, especially if you did it wrong. But Gavin liked it, and he wanted to share that with Jace—when Jace was ready. As in all things, he’d wait for Jace to make the first move in that direction.

Like right now.

One of Jace’s fingers slid into Gavin’s crease, too high to find his hole, but damn, it was a start. Gavin kissed him harder, a bruising force he hoped communicated how much he liked where this was going. He was versatile in bed, and if Jace wanted to try topping, he’d walk him through it. Do his best to make it great for both of them. He pushed back against Jace’s hand, wanting more pressure, a firmer touch.

Jace broke the kiss. Gavin pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, expecting hesitation and seeing only a question. “Do you…have you ever…?”