Weight of Silence(26)

Saying it out loud to his sister was a hell of a lot easier than saying it to a semi-stranger—even if said stranger could sympathize with Jace’s internal battle. “It’s something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately,” Jace replied. He wiped sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. “Coming out in general, I mean.”

Rey nodded slowly as he turned onto Jace’s street. “It’s different for everyone, because no one’s situation is the same. Or their family.”

“Did you feel better after you were out?”

“Only my mom and Carly knew for a couple of years, and that was how I wanted it. But once I really embraced who I was and was honest with other people…yeah, I felt better. I could be me without the weight of that secret hanging around my neck.”

Jace closed his eyes as nausea rolled his stomach. He knew about secrets and most of them had nothing to do with his being gay. When he opened his eyes, Rey was pulling into the driveway. The empty driveway—no one else was home, not even his sisters, and Jace said a silent thank you. He just wanted to ice his knee in peace and forget his stupidity with crossing the street.

“Jace, seriously, if you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here,” Rey said.

“Thanks.” Jace couldn’t make himself get out of the idling car quite yet. He didn’t know what he was waiting for.

“Who knows?”

Jace didn’t insult Rey by playing dumb. “My sister Rachel knows. And now you. And Gavin.”

“Perez?”

“Yes.” He gave what he hoped was a sharp look, but Rey was smiling.

“Gavin and his mom are good people,” Rey said. “You two spending a lot of time together?”

“Me and his mom?”

Rey laughed at the smartass comment. “Yes, exactly, you and Gavin’s mom.”

Jace grinned for the first time in the conversation as he thought about Gavin. “We get along great. Really great, actually, but…”

“But?”

“Gavin’s out.”

“And you aren’t.”

“Right.”

“Have you guys talked about that?”

“No. I mean, we hang out and have a lot of fun together, but I don’t know if it’s serious. Doesn’t discussing that make us serious?”

Rey tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel. “Not necessarily, which is why you two should talk about it. Jace, you can’t come out because someone else wants you to, or because you think it’s what they need. You have to come out for you and no one else. Understand?”

“I do.” He was pretty sure he did, anyway. “Thank you for the advice.”

“Not a problem. Like I said, if you need anything, even just an ear to bend, you can call me or Samuel at any time.”

“No offense, but Samuel’s kind of scary.”

Rey chuckled. “I hear that a lot. I’ll tell you a secret, though. Sam looks and sounds like a grumpy grizzly, but he’s really got a marshmallow center. He’ll just never admit it.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Take care of that knee, okay?”

“I will. Thanks for the ride.”

“Least I could do,” Rey said as Jace yanked open the passenger door.

Jace limped up to the front porch and waited while Rey backed out. Once the little hatchback was out of sight, Jace sank down into a wicker chair near the door. His previous sweat was freezing to his skin and his teeth had started to chatter, but he didn’t care. The conversation with Rey kept looping through his mind.

You two should talk.

They needed to talk—about a lot more things than just Jace’s location inside the closet. But if Gavin knew all of the secrets Jace was holding inside, would Gavin still like him? Or would this tentative, playful thing growing between them be over before it really had a chance?





Most of his co-workers disliked the tedium of inventory, but the tasks suited Gavin. He came in at four a.m. to assist the store manager, Theresa, with prep, which included taping little white numbered squares of paper onto every shelf, every display, and in their proper numerical, floor plan order. By the time they finished prepping, the counting company had arrived, and the store became a symphony of crackling cellophane, clanking ceramics, muttering, and the occasional shout of “SKU check!”

The morning passed in a blur, leaving Gavin little time to anticipate lunch with Jace. He still couldn’t put his finger on the subtle differences he’d seen in Jace since Thanksgiving. If someone could manage to be both more self-confident (mouth + dick = wow!) and more withdrawn, then Jace had mastered it. Gavin wasn’t exactly concerned. More curious. He wanted Jace to come to him if he had a problem, to lean on Gavin. After all, Gavin had pretty broad shoulders and really didn’t mind.