Weight of Silence(33)

“Use your words.”

His eyes narrowed at the challenge. “Have you ever, you know, been fucked?”

“Yes.”

Jace’s nostrils flared. “Did you like it?”

“First time hurt a little, but my partner made it feel good too. Having someone there who knows what the hell he’s doing helps a lot.”

Something flittered across Jace’s face, there and gone so fast Gavin almost didn’t see it. And when he realized what it was, he almost wished he hadn’t—terror. The fleeting emotion squeezed his heart tight and nearly knocked the air from his lungs.

“Hey.” He framed Jace’s face with his hands, concerned by how cool his skin was. “We don’t have to, either way, if you aren’t ready.”

“I want to,” Jace said firmly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Two ways. First, you care enough to want to make it good. Second, I’ll be in control so you can’t do anything that will hurt me.”

Jace searched his face, and he saw the moment the decision was made. Jace’s eyes softened, and some of the tension bled from his body. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?”

“I want to be inside you, Gav. Please.”

“For sure.”

He kissed Jace lightly then climbed off him long enough to grab the lube and a condom from his bedside table. On his directions, Jace stuffed a pillow under his head, giving him a more comfortable angle to observe. Gavin kissed his way down Jace’s torso, pausing to lick lines along his clavicles, to swirl his tongue around his nipples until Jace got vocal. He dropped kisses along Jace’s ribs, noting their sharpness, his overall thinness, as he nuzzled the hollows of his hips. Jace’s legs trembled and he squirmed under Gavin’s oral explorations, his breathing raspy and short.

Gavin took Jace’s cock in hand then swallowed him down.



Only an act of supreme self-control kept Jace from jerking up into the wet heat of Gavin’s mouth. He’d never get used to the feeling of being sucked off. Every time was like the first, and he never wanted the moment to end. He tangled his hands in Gavin’s silky black hair, urging him on without applying actual pressure. Being held down, forced, wasn’t fun and he’d sworn to himself before deciding to take this step that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Gavin.

Physically, at any rate. He had no idea what Gavin would think, how he’d feel, if he knew what Jace had done.

He didn’t close his eyes. He didn’t want to miss a moment of this. Gavin’s cheeks hollowed and puffed out as he worked Jace’s dick with his mouth, getting him so close Jace was afraid he’d shoot before the main event. But Gavin knew what he was doing. He trusted Gavin to get them both there.

Gavin pulled off his dick with a wet pop then reached for the condom. He tore the wrapper with his teeth—now the sexiest thing Jace had ever seen him do with his mouth—then rolled the condom onto Jace’s dick. The latex felt strange, at first, pressure different from anything he’d ever experienced. He’d fooled around with a few girls, mostly kissing and under-the-clothes fondling, but not to a point that required condom use. He’d never worn one until now. Gavin popped the cap on a bottle of lube and spread some of the clear gel onto Jace’s dick. Gavin’s touch was slightly muted by the condom, not like skin on skin, and that was probably a good thing, if they wanted this to last longer than ninety seconds.

Lube in hand, Gavin knee-walked his way back up Jace’s body. He settled his weight on Jace’s hips, which lined Jace’s dick up with the crease of Gavin’s ass. Jace’s breath caught—this was how Gavin meant to stay in control. Stay on top. Don’t get trapped.

Too bad you weren’t that smart.

He shoved aside the angry, berating voice and concentrated. Gavin took Jace’s right hand and squeezed some lube onto three of his fingers. It was both thick and fluid, without being sticky. Gavin guided his hand around to his crease.

“Start with one finger,” he said.

Heat flushed Jace’s chest. He pressed his fingers into Gavin’s crease, rubbing in the lube until he found the puckered entrance. His stomach tightened. Gavin made a soft, encouraging noise, his dark eyes fixed on Jace’s face like he thought he might change his mind. A small, terrified part of Jace wanted to call it off.

The rest of him told his fear to take a flying fuck and let him have this.

Jace pressed the tip of his index finger against Gavin’s hole, a steady pressure, until his finger slid inside to the first knuckle. They groaned together, and holy crap, a part of Jace was inside of Gavin. Gavin was breathing hard from his mouth, his face a mask of pleasure. If he felt any discomfort from the breach, he wasn’t showing it. Jace experimented with short nudges, barely moving his finger in and out, until the tight ring of muscle loosened and his finger slid all the way inside.