Thoughtful(215)

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she started to move away like she was leaving. Grabbing her shoulders, I held her against the wall. I didn’t want her to leave yet. I wasn’t ready. When she looked up at me, another tear rolled down her skin. I brushed it away with my thumb, then I cupped her face and made her look at me.

“I know what we have is intense. I know it’s terrifying. I feel that too, believe me. But it’s real, Kiera.” My hand drifted from my chest to hers. “This is real and it’s deep, and it wouldn’t have just…burned out. I’m done with meaningless encounters. You’re everything I want. I’d never have strayed from you.”

Her hands came up to reach me, and I stepped away. I wasn’t ready for that either. Sadness filled me as I gazed at her standing a foot away from me. She’d said goodbye to me in that parking lot because of fear, and now I had to do the same to her. And it broke my heart. Again. “I still can’t be with you, though. How can I ever trust that…?” My gaze fell to the floor, my voice faded to a whisper. “That you won’t leave me one day? As much as I miss you, that thought keeps me away.”

She was worried about me straying…but she was the one who’d slept with Denny after telling me she loved me. Right after I’d told her I couldn’t stomach the thought of sharing her, she’d lain with him. While I understood how confusing the situation had been, I couldn’t quite get over the fact that she had, in an odd way, cheated on me.

Kiera took a step toward me, her voice apologetic. “Kellan, I’m so—”

My eyes snapped to hers. “You left me for him, Kiera, even if it was just some knee-jerk reaction, because the thought of us terrified you…You still were going to leave me for him. How do I know that won’t happen again?”

Her answer was oddly calm, determined even. “It won’t…I won’t ever leave you. I’m done being apart from you. I’m done denying what we have. I’m done being scared.”

For the first time ever, I envied her for her courage. “I’m not, Kiera. I still need that minute…”

Her hand drifted to my stomach; her fingertips burned like fire. “Do you still love me?” she asked, hope in her eyes.

A sigh escaped me as I looked over her face. “You would never believe how much.”

She stepped closer and her hand ran up my chest. I closed my eyes as tendrils of electricity excited my flesh. Her fingers reached my heart, and I stopped them. Holding her hand over my tattoo, I whispered, “I never left you…I kept you with me, here.”

Almost like she knew what I’d done to my body, she pulled my shirt aside. I dropped my hand and let her see. Honesty was all we could do for each other now. The minute she spotted her name upon my skin, her mouth dropped open and her eyes watered. She began to trace the swirling letters with her finger, and my skin pricked with joyous pain wherever she touched me.

“Kellan…”

Her voice cracked on my name. I pulled her searing fingers away, but laced them with mine instead of dropping them completely. Holding our hands against my chest, I rested our heads together again. “So…yes, yes I do still love you. I never stopped. But…Kiera…”

“Have you been with anyone else?” she whispered.

Surprised, I pulled back to look at her. “No…I haven’t wanted…” There is no one else for me but you. Wondering if she’d been as faithful to a lost cause as I had been, I asked her, “Have you?”

Even though she was quick to answer, I thought I’d be sick waiting for it. “No. I just…I just want you.” Relief washed through me, cleansing me. “We’re meant to be, Kellan. We need each other,” she added in a whisper.

I know. I need you so much, Kiera. No one will do…but you.

Without considering what I was doing, I stepped into her. Her hand slipped around my waist, mine went to her hip. We pulled each other closer, like we couldn’t bear to be apart anymore. And I couldn’t. I felt like I’d been waiting for this my whole life, and I didn’t want to stop it…but…pain and doubt were still waging war within me.

We kept staring at each other’s mouths, and the tension between us was mounting. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I wet my lip, dragging my teeth over the tender skin, but it was Kiera I wanted to feel touching me.

I angled my head down to hers; we were just inches apart now, and her fast breath washed over my face. “Kiera, I thought I could leave you. I thought distance would make this go away, and it’d get easier, but it hasn’t.” I paused to shake my head. “Being apart from you is killing me. I feel lost without you.”