The First Last Boy(27)

"Back in?" Cooper laughed, a hard, dry sound. "You never really left."  He smacked the tattoo on his arm. A replica of the one on mine.  "Southtown Brothers for life, man."

I'd promised Donny I'd never go back. But that was before Tana, before I  knew there'd even be a Tana. Before I ripped my heart out of my chest  and handed it over to her. I might not be in prison but Southtown  Brothers was my life sentence. I knew that now.

"If you need me when the shit hits the fan, you know I'm there," Cooper said.

I glanced toward Tana's house. "Yeah." I left the car, shutting the door in my wake.

"Here." Cooper tossed the gun out onto the grass at my feet and revved  the engine when I stared at him. "That dark side of you-the one that's  trying to figure out a way to beat Chanos until he's a bloody  stain-that's a part of you that still exists. Might as well face facts.  You can clean yourself up, you can think you've moved on, but you're  owned by the streets same as me. Juvante's due to take the next watch.  He's on his way. See you." He did a U-turn in the middle of the road and  drove away.         

     



 

I looked at the steel demon on the grass, waiting for the opportunity  for me to give it life. The things I thought I'd escaped from taunted  me, dancing in my memory, screenshot after screenshot of the things I'd  done. My record was filled with events of vandalism, reckless driving,  discharging a firearm in city limits, simple possession, grand theft for  jacking cars, aggravated assault for beating the foster dad who was  hurting his daughter and...I clenched my hands into fists. Regardless of  the man I'd tried to become, how could I for one second have thought it  was okay to have who I'd used to be around Tana?

A movement caught my eye and I turned my head to see. A black SUV rolled  down the street, slowing, then stopping in front of Tana's house. The  driver focused on the front door of the house too long to be idle  curiosity. I bent over, picked up the gun and jogged toward the SUV.

I knew the guy. Everyone called him Slam. Fat high school kid. A foot  soldier for Chanos. Probably no idea what he was getting into. He was so  busy looking the other direction, he never saw me coming until I had my  hand at the side of his neck. I pushed my thumb against his windpipe  hard enough for it to be uncomfortable and squeezed. "Five seconds  before I beat your ass, bitch."

He raised his hands from the wheel, holding them up like he was under  arrest. Dumbass. "Hold on, we're cool." His voice, caught between  childhood and manhood, squeaked and broke on the last word.

"I don't see any Girl Scout cookies. You're not selling anything so there's no reason for you to be here checking out doors."

"C'mon, man. I haven't done anything."

"You better think real hard before you show your face again." I eased  off the pressure and sweat rolled down the side of his face. "Go jerk  off somewhere else." I lowered my hand. "Get the hell out of here."

His hands shook as he gripped the steering wheel and he took off, no doubt headed straight to Chanos.





Chapter Fifteen

TANA



After Mark settled for the night, I called Brooklyn to check on her and  she asked if she could come over and I was glad. I couldn't stand the  thought of being alone. I didn't bother to call Shelby and ask her to  join us. Her parents didn't want her in the neighborhood since learning  about my mom's shooting. If they knew half the places Shelby went and  half the things she did, they'd lock her up like Rapunzel. I should  know. I used to live in a tower, locked away from the real world just  like Rapunzel. But I didn't want to be that girl who let life happen to  her.

An hour later, Brooklyn showed up. She was dressed head to toe in black.  She'd changed the way she dressed since the attack like she was trying  to fade into the background. Her hoop earrings caught the light as she  hugged me. Dropping her purse into the chair by the door, she said, "I'm  glad you called."

"I was worried about you."

"And I was worried about you."

"How have you been?"

Her smile faded. "Fine and you keep asking, you keep checking on me, but  don't ask me again, please. I don't like to think about it, okay?"

"Okay."

She waved her hand toward the front door. "There's some beer in my car if you want some."

‘I can't. I have to keep a clear head for Mark. He wakes up in the  middle of the night and-" I shrugged, unable to put into words the  nightmares that gripped my brother.

She sank down on the sofa and kicked off her shoes. "My family was so  pissed when they heard what happened to your mom. How is she?"

"Still no change. I spend as much time as I can at the hospital until I  have to leave to take care of Mark. She looks so still. I talk to her  and I try to be positive but all I can think about are the things I  didn't get to say to her and I wonder if I ever will get the chance."

"I'm sorry, Tana."

I forced myself not to give in to the tears that hovered so close. "I  want to talk to you because I need your help finding out who did this to  my mom. Your brothers...I heard rumors in high school. They've got some  connections, right?"

Brooklyn bolted upright. "Oh, shit, girl. I can't believe what you're  thinking." Her lips tightened and her dark eyes narrowed into slits.  "Are you thinking that you want to drag my brothers into this?"

"No, I'm not asking that. I want information from them. If they've heard anything about the shooting."

She ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. "If you're  thinking of trying to find out who did the shooting, that's not a good  idea. You should concentrate on what your mom wants you to do. Get your  stuff ready to go to college."         

     



 

"College?" I couldn't help the bitter laugh. I paced back and forth in  front of the television, thinking out loud. "How do you think I can go  off to college and leave Mark behind if Mom is even better by then?  Who'd take care of him? College might not be my future for a while.  Trying to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, that's my  reality now."

"But you don't know the future," Brooklyn argued. "I believe your mom is  coming home and knowing her, she wouldn't want this. For you to give up  college to help her, it would break her heart."

"What my mom wanted was to give us a good life. That's why she worked  two jobs." I gestured around at the living room. "This? This poverty and  scratching out a living, this isn't what she wanted for us. Her in a  coma isn't what she wanted." I hugged my arms around myself. "I have to  find out who did this and why. I want to make sure it won't happen  again."

"Why don't you just ask Ryan to find out who shot your mom?"

"Because it's not Ryan's responsibility to take care of me or Mark," I said more sharply than I meant to.

"He would die for you both and you know that."

Ryan. His blue-green eyes. His muscled body. His smile. The way his body  moved inside of mine. The thoughts whirled around inside of my head. If  I asked for his help and something happened to him too...I couldn't.  "That's what I'm afraid of."

Her eyes softened. "Oh no. Do you love him?"

I couldn't bear to think about that much less put it out there. "Even if  I did fall for him, it would never work. He's the kind of guy who walks  away."

"Who knows? Maybe that's because he never had a reason to stay until  now." She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "Anyway, I'll help you however  I can, but I can't bring my brothers into this."

"I understand. You don't want anything to happen to them."

"There's more to it than that. If Ryan finds out my brothers helped you  and something happens to you or Mark, he'd want answers and he wouldn't  ask for them nicely. I know enough about Ryan's past to know he's not  someone to cross."

Her words intrigued me. "What about his past?"

"On the streets, he was a bad ass, a real legend that everyone knew not  to fuck with. He was arrested the first time when he was eight for  stealing a car and his record only gets worse from there. I know he beat  a man to the point where the guy begged for his life. I accidentally  saw the police report at Mama Leena's. The social worker gave it to her  with a note saying she wanted Mama Leena to know all about Ryan before  he came to live with her. He did stuff when he was in the gang."

"When did he get involved with the gang?"

"He got jumped into the Southtown Brothers when he was ten by Chanos' older brother. He was already bad way before then."

That explained the SB tattoo I'd seen on Ryan's arm. "Ten? He wasn't bad. He was a child."

"I don't know if Ryan was ever a kid and his age didn't matter to the  gang. When cars get jacked, cops don't always look for it to be a kid  who did it. Someone's making a dope delivery, same thing. When the  brother went to prison, Chanos took over. Most of the guys liked and  respected the older brother because he treated everyone with respect.  But Chanos...he's evil for the sake of being evil."