The Butterfly Box(202)

Federica sighed and glanced at Hal, who sat back in his chair and gulped down his water thirstily.

‘Things happen in your life that put everything into perspective.' she said, choosing her words carefully. ‘I had an unhappy marriage and Hal, well, Hal’s been through a tough time too. We needed to get back to our roots. We needed to see you again. It’s not natural to be separated from your family for so long.’ She lowered her eyes, not wanting to make her father feel guilty for abandoning them. Mariana glanced at her son and felt uneasy. ‘It’s wonderful to come out and discover another member of the family,’ Federica continued, filling the uncomfortable silence. They all looked at Ramoncito who blushed again and smiled bashfully.



‘Have you forgotten all your Spanish?’ Mariana asked.

‘I’m afraid we have,’ said Federica. ‘I understand bits but mostly I’ve forgotten it all.’



‘Papa, where is your wife?’ Hal asked, draining his glass.

Ramon’s face twisted with sadness. ‘She’s dead,’ he replied.

Hal stiffened and mumbled an apology. Mariana commented on the weather and then Ignacio got to his feet.

‘Son, why don’t you take Federica and Hal for a walk up the beach? You have much to talk about. Then you can come back and we can start all over again.’ Ramon looked relieved and translated for his son. Ramoncito nodded and watched his half-brother and sister stand up and walk into the house with his father.

‘For the love of God, that was tense,’ Mariana sighed once they had gone.

‘Be calm, woman, they just need to thrash it all out together,’ said Ignacio. ‘How about a game of chess, Ramoncito?’ he added to his grandson who looked up at him and smiled.

‘Beautiful girl, Abuelito!’ he said in admiration.

Ramon didn’t want to walk up the beach. ‘I want to take you somewhere else,’ he said, unlocking his car and climbing in.

‘I hear you have a beach house of your own,’ said Federica, noticing that his hair had turned completely grey at the temples and the diaphanous skin



beneath his eyes sagged from too much melancholy. He looked old.

‘Yes, I do, but I’m not taking you there either,’ he replied, driving off up the sandy track. ‘I’m taking you to meet Estella.’



‘Who’s Estella?’ asked Hal.

‘Ramoncito’s mother.’

‘Oh.’ Hal coughed away his embarrassment.

‘I want to talk to you somewhere we won’t be disturbed,’ said Ramon.



The cemetery rested in heavenly stillness on top of the cliff overlooking the sea. It was hot and the smells of the flowers and pine trees scented the air with the serenity of nature. Ramon parked the car and they walked across the shadows, taking care not to trample over the graves of sleeping spirits, to where Estella was buried. ‘This is Estella’s resting place,’ said Ramon, rearranging the flowers he had placed against her tombstone that morning.



‘She has a nice view,' said Hal, desperate to make up for his faux pas.

Ramon smiled at him. ‘Yes she does.’

‘Will you tell us about her, Papa?’ Federica asked ‘She must have been very beautiful because Ramoncito is tremendously handsome.’

‘She was,’ he agreed sadly. ‘But first I want to start at the beginning. I want to start with you. Federica, Hal and Helena. Let’s sit over here,’ he suggested, pointing to the grassy slope that led down to the cliffs.

They sat in the sunshine and watched the hypnotic swell of the sea below. Ramon took each child by the hand. ‘I ask you both to forgive me,’ he said. Hal and Federica didn’t know what to say and stared at him in astonishment. ‘I ran away from your mother because her love was too intense and I felt claustrophobic. We should have put you both first and tried to work out our problems, but we were both too selfish. I didn’t fight for your mother and try to persuade her to stay and she didn’t try to change for me. I loved you both but didn’t realize what I had lost until it was too late, and then I was too ashamed to face up to it so I just ran away and left you. It was easier to run - after all I had run from love my entire life.’ Both Federica and Hal were astounded by his honesty.

He then recounted the moments of their childhood that had touched him and the small details of their characters that he had remembered and taken with him through the years. ‘Hal, you used to cling to your mother. I frightened

you, I think. You were so sensitive you felt the ill feeling between us and it upset you. You were very small so I used to leave you with Helena and take Federica out with me. I never really knew you. But I’d like to start again and get to know you now,’ he said, looking into the troubled eyes of his son and recognizing the torment that lay behind them. ‘You’re my son, Hal, and nothing is more important than blood. I understand that now. It’s taken much unhappiness but I now know what is important.’