The Butterfly Box(204)

Ramon smiled back at her awkwardly. Federica understood it as modesty.

‘You dark horse, Ramon,’ said Mariana proudly. ‘After lunch I would like to show you the family photograph albums, Fede. There are lovely ones of you and Hal as children.’

‘And I’d like to get my camera and take photos of all of you. This is a reunion   I shall never forget.’

After lunch Federica went into her bedroom. She noticed at once the scent of lavender on her sheets and the large stems of tuberose on the dresser. The shutters were closed, keeping the room cool, but she opened them and let the sunlight tumble into her room, illuminating her memories as she remembered the occasional picture on the wall and the furniture. She opened her suitcase and pulled out her camera. She sat on the bed and drew the lens out of its protective covering, remembering how Julian had taught her to hold it. Then she thought of Sam. She wanted to call him up and tell him how it was all

going. But she thought she’d take a few photographs first so that she could tell him she had used his gift.

‘Fede, can I come in?’

She turned to see her father standing in the doorway. ‘Sure,’ she replied. ‘I’m just putting together this fabulous camera so I can take some photographs to show everyone back in England.’

‘Good idea,’ he said, sitting down on the other bed. ‘About those notes of poetry,’ he began.

‘They were inspired,’ she enthused happily. ‘I’m a different person now.’

‘I didn’t send them,’ he declared.

Federica’s face drained of excitement. ‘You didn’t send them?’ she repeated in astonishment.

‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘I didn’t want to say it in front of everyone else, I didn’t want to embarrass you.’

‘Of course you sent them,’ she replied in confusion. ‘There were two notes, one slipped under my door, the other in the car?’

‘Were they signed?’

‘No,’ she said, narrowing her eyes.



‘I haven’t been to London for years,’ he admitted.

‘Truthfully?’

Truthfully. Listen, when Hal wakes up I’m going to take him to my beach house. There’s a book I want him to read. Is that okay with you?’

‘Of course it is,’ she said unsteadily. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t send me those notes.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, getting up. ‘I wish I had.’

‘It doesn’t matter. The result was the same whoever gave them to me,’ she said casually as if it was of little importance.

Once Ramon had left the room she stared down at her camera in bewilderment. Then she felt her stomach plummet as she realized that it could only have been Sam who had sent her the notes. Suddenly it all made sense. He had voiced his concern right from the start. He had confronted her at lunch, then at Nuno’s funeral. She hadn’t listened. Of course he wasn’t going to approach her again, certainly not openly. How obvious it was and yet she had wanted to believe so badly that her father was behind them, she had managed to convince herself. How insensitive of her to give all the credit to Ramon. No wonder Sam had looked so crestfallen.

When Mariana showed her the albums of her childhood and the years that she had missed out, Federica had to force herself to concentrate because all she wanted to think about was Sam. Mariana told her a brief anecdote with each picture in the way old people do who have no concept of time. But Federica was agitated and eyed the telephone. Would it be impertinent to ask to make a call to England? While she half listened to her grandmother’s stories she weighed up the chances. When Mariana came across a photograph of Estella, Federica’s attention was momentarily diverted while she gazed into the serene face of the woman who had stolen her father’s heart. She was beautiful and gentle-looking with the same kind expression and long face as Ramoncito’s. She knew instinctively that she would have liked her. The tragedy of her death moved her and reminded her of her own mortality. She had been too young and beautiful to die. She immediately thought of Topahuay and imagined that she must have looked just like Estella. In their deaths Federica recognized the transience of life and the importance to live each moment fully because death could come at any time to steal it away.

Ignacio sat on the terrace talking to Ramoncito and finishing their game of

chess. The sun was still hot and occasionally Ignacio would take off his hat and wipe his brow with a white hanky, which he kept in his pocket. Ramoncito would then take the opportunity to let his eyes rest on the beautiful face of his sister when she didn’t know that she was being watched. He couldn’t wait to tell Pablo and Maria Rega about the sudden arrival of his father’s long-lost children. Everything about Ramon fascinated them because he was from another world and yet he had loved their Estella.