The Butterfly Box(200)

‘Here, son,’ said Ignacio, handing him a tumbler of rum. ‘You look as though you need it.’

‘I don’t know what to expect,’ he said sheepishly.

‘Don’t think about it too much,’ said Ignacio simply, sitting down opposite Ramon and pulling his panama hat onto his head to protect him from the sun. ‘They’re coming out to see you because you’re their father, not to torment you. Let bygones be bygones and get to know each other again. That’s my advice.’

‘So much has happened,’ said Ramon, staring into his glass. ‘Estella, Ramoncito ..

‘Life goes on. It has many chapters yet it’s one book. There’s a common thread that runs through each chapter.’

‘What’s that, Papa?’ said Ramon, sighing heavily.

‘Love,’ said Ignacio bluntly. Ramon frowned at him, but his father just

nodded back. Tm old and wise, son, I should be after eighty-four years, and I’ve picked a few things up in my life. That’s one of them. Learn something from an old man.’ He chuckled. ‘Love will unite you all, you’ll see.’

That and forgiveness,’ said Ramon, knocking back his glass. ‘A large dose of forgiveness.’

As the car drove up the coast Federica and Hal began to reminisce with growing excitement. They recognized the shack where they had always stopped en route to their grandparents’ house, where Ramon had always bought them drinks and empanadas, where the Chilean children had played football with an empty Coke can under the sycamore trees. They were both struck at how little it had changed in so many years, as if they were driving through a strange void which time was incapable of penetrating.

When they descended the dusty track into Cachagua itself they were both too moved and anxious to speak any more. Hal took Federica’s hand, which surprised her for it had always been she who had initiated any demonstrations of affection. She squeezed it, grateful for his support for she was nervous too. The thatched houses were the same, surrounded by verdant trees and bushes,

although there were more of them. When the car drew up outside the familiar walls of their grandparents’ house they both heard the thumping of their hearts as they beat loudly and in unison.

‘I’m scared,’ Hal confessed.

‘Me too,’ Federica replied hoarsely. ‘But we’re here now, so let’s just plunge on in,’ she said, trying to make light of their fear.

Ramon heard the engine of the car and then the expectant silence that followed when the ignition was turned off. He heard the doors open and close. He looked across at his parents and Ramoncito, who had all got to their feet and were making their way into the house. Mariana’s old legs were slow but she bustled through the sitting room as fast as she could go, her breathing heavy with excitement. Ramoncito didn’t understand his father’s uneasiness and was caught up in the enthusiasm of his grandparents. He had always wondered what his half-siblings were like, often fantasizing that they lived in Chile so that he could enjoy the fun of having a large family like all his school friends, who often had as many as ten brothers and sisters to play with.

Ignacio turned to his son who hesitated on the terrace, pale-faced and

apprehensive. ‘Son, it’s like diving into the sea, the anticipation is uncomfortable but once you’re in the water is warm and pleasant.’ He smiled at him in understanding. ‘You just have to take the plunge and not think about it.’ Ramon nodded at him and followed his unsteady old frame into the dark interior of the house where it was cool and smelt of tuberose. In his mind he still imagined Federica as he had seen her as a thirteen-year-old child on her bicycle in Cornwall. Hal he remembered less well and that made him feel guiltier than ever.

When Federica and Hal saw their grandmother hurry out of the house to greet them their hearts ceased to beat with anxiety but accelerated with joy. She was much greyer and appeared smaller because the last time they had seen her they had been children. But her smile and her tears were the same expressions of her gentle nature that had clung to their memories for almost two decades and they ran to her and embraced her. She wanted to tell them how tall they were, how beautiful Federica was and how handsome Hal was, but her throat ached with emotion and her lips trembled with regret because she was old and had lost countless precious years of their growing up. So she embraced them

again, gesticulating with her shaking hands and expressive face all the things she was unable to put into words.

Ignacio appeared next in the doorway because Ramoncito hung back, suddenly overcome with shyness. He hugged his grandchildren, chuckling with happiness because he also was too moved to speak. Hal remembered him for his shoulder-rides but was barely able to reconcile the ursine man of his childhood with the thin, wizened man who now stood before him.