The Butterfly Box(206)

‘Thank you, Papa,’ he breathed, then turned his eyes to the horizon and sighed with contentment. ‘I’m home.’

Federica asked Mariana if it would be all right for her to call England. Of course, Mariana was only too happy to lend her the telephone. ‘Make as many calls as you like,’ she said. ‘Your mother will want to know how it’s all going.’

But Federica didn’t call Helena. She called Sam. The telephone rang for a long while until someone finally picked it up. It was Ingrid. ‘Ingrid, it’s Federica,’ she announced.

‘Ah, Fede, darling, how are you?’ she asked breezily.

‘I’m in Chile,’ Federica replied with a suspended heart.

‘How lovely.’

‘Is Sam about?’ she asked.

‘No, he’s gone,’ Ingrid said vaguely.

‘Gone?’ Federica gasped. ‘Gone where?’

To stay with some old girlfriend, I think.’

‘An old girlfriend?’

‘Yes, someone he’s liked for a very long time. Dear boy, it’s about time he started thinking about his future.’

‘Yes,’ Federica mumbled, but she was barely able to disguise the anxiety in her voice.

‘He’s not getting any younger,’ Ingrid continued, adding to Federica’s distress.

‘Did he say how long he’d be gone?’

‘No, darling, you know Sam! He never lets anyone know his plans.’

‘Did he leave a number?’

‘No again, darling. Though, I think it’s a big house in Scotland if that helps.

You know who his friends are better than I. Shall I tell him to call you when he returns?’

‘No, it’s fine. Just tell him I rang,’ she said, swallowing back her disappointment.

Ingrid had just put down the telephone when Sam walked in having taken the dogs out across the cliffs. ‘Who was that, Mum?’ he asked.

‘No one you know, darling,’ she said, picking up an orphaned fox cub and stroking its damp fur. ‘Someone wanting to know if we had any puppies,’ she added, kissing the cub. ‘Sadly they’re not interested in Little Red, are they, Little Red?’ She watched Sam’s dejected face and hoped that Federica would realize how much she loved him when she was in danger of losing him. Sam took an apple from the fruit bowl. ‘Where are you off to, darling?’ she asked, attempting to hide her concern.

‘To Nuno’s study.’



‘You’ll lose yourself in there,’ she said sympathetically.

‘I hope so.’

Federica let Hal do most of the talking during supper and retired early to bed. ‘You must be so tired, Fede,’ said Mariana kindly. ‘You have a good sleep and get up whenever you feel like it. You’re home now.’ Federica went around the table kissing each member of her family with affection. Ramoncito’s face burned scarlet once she had placed her lips on his cheek and continued to smoulder like a rekindled coal for the rest of the meal. Hal and Ramon talked with animation, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames of the hurricane lamps. Ignacio caught Mariana’s eye and smiled. They understood each other perfectly. Both instinctively felt that Hal would be staying for good, but Federica was distracted, Mariana noticed - it was a woman thing.

Federica had left the shutters open so that the moonlight spilled into her room along with the nocturnal stirrings of the crickets and the sea. She lay in bed watching the shadows slowly creep across the ceiling and thought about Sam. How ironic, she mused, that when she was in England she longed for her father and now that she was in Chile she longed for Sam. She had felt uneasy ever since her conversation with Ingrid. She wondered whom Sam had gone to stay with and found herself suffering an uncomfortable twinge of jealousy deep in the core of her being. She turned over in frustration and lay on her stomach

staring out onto the swaying trees and starry sky. She recalled his unshaven face and tormented eyes and wondered whether his silent intervention in her marriage had been inspired by friendship or love. She didn’t dare analyze her own feelings for she was afraid of love.

She remembered the long evenings in front of the fire in Nuno’s study, discussing literature and poetry, the chilly barbecues on the beach and the brisk walks along the cliff tops. He had been indispensable to her. If he were to fall in love with someone else she’d lose him, and she couldn’t bear to lose him. When sleep finally conquered her, dreams persisted in the place of consciousness to torment her. She dreamed of Sam - he was running down the cliff and she was shouting his name, but he didn’t hear her and as fast as she ran she couldn’t catch up with him. She awoke in the morning as tired as she had been the night before.