Razorblade Kisses(94)

“Well, shit, honey, if everyone gave up the person who’d break their heart, there would be no marriages left.”

Emery’s eyes widened at the curse word and then the entire statement. She’d never thought of it like that. She’d been so focused on the inevitability of their end, she hadn’t seen that maybe that’s what most people thought about their own relationships. That was a first.



Panic woke her in the middle of the night and she felt on the other side of the bed before remembering that Tim had the midnight shift. She grabbed her phone to check the time and saw that Tim had texted. It was 3:36 in the morning.

When I look at you I wonder how I am so lucky to have found you. I hated leaving you tonight. I wanted to have your breasts pressed against me all night. I want to wake you with my tongue in your favorite place. I want to do everything with you. I want you to do everything with me. I want your first thought in the morning to be me (or my dick). I want your last thought before you close your gorgeous eyes to be me (or my dick). I don’t want you to cry or leave me in your mind and go off to a place that you’re scared of. I know I can’t save you, Emma. I don’t want to save you, but I want to be there when you save yourself. I want to be the one you run to when you realize who you really are. Me. I want you. All of you.

Emery laughed and cried simultaneously at this text. He thought he was lucky? That might be the most important thing anyone had ever told her. He didn’t care about her pain. He wanted her to feel it and when she was better, he would be there. Tim didn’t want to make her different, but wanted her to figure it out on her own and he would celebrate with her. In that moment, with snot coming out of her nose from the tears and laughter, she knew with everything she had that she loved him utterly and completely.

She texted him back, not wanting to compete with the utter blanket of love she felt for him from his text. So she kept it simple and typed the words she’d only ever remembered saying to Ashley and Rachel.

I love you





CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Sometimes the Pain is Too Much



Emery was sitting at her desk on a Thursday when she got the text she’d been dreading for four years.

911—Dublin exit 51, LaQuinta—Room under Romona Hicks

All the years of holding herself together kicked in and she buzzed her boss. “I’m feeling really sick. I’m going home.” She disconnected and grabbed her things, walking mechanically to her car, and drove to Dublin, Georgia, to find out exactly what Rachel had learned about her sister.

The drive was the longest two hours of her life. She kept looking at the text like it would magically turn into something different or have more information for her to digest. Guilt washed over her in waves. She’d left Ashley at home with pure evil and she’d never looked back. If he’d touched her in any way, he would have to deal with Emery. A very different Emery. An Emery that he didn’t know. One that would find a way to make him pay no matter what. Not for what he’d done to Emery, but for what he’d done to Ashley.

She pulled off the exit in a daze. As she took a right toward the LaQuinta, she received a text from Rachel.

Room 157. It’s in the back

Navigating her car around the left of the hotel, she saw Derrick’s SUV and her heart sunk to her toes. This was bad. She could feel it in her bones. She pulled up and glanced around, baffled that Rachel had chosen this motel. The doors opened to the outside, like an old horror movie. That’s how she felt, too, like she was entering a scene in a horror movie.

The curtain moved in the room directly in front of her and Rachel opened the door, her face devoid of both makeup and emotion. Derrick moved through the door and leaned into Rachel, whispering something in her ear. He tucked Rachel’s long hair behind her ear and then turned his eyes on Emery. He and Rachel were both in what looked like workout gear. His gray sweats were loose in all the right places and he had a long-sleeved shirt on, a wool cap pulled over his head. Emery moved to the door of the room as if her feet were made of lead. She knew that once she entered this room, everything would change and she would never recover. Derrick grabbed her arm gently as she passed him and he pulled her into a tight hug. She fit into his side underneath his arm.

“Em, we’ll be okay.” He pushed her out from under his arm and met her eyes, his gaze intense. “We’ll make this right.” Then he looked over his shoulder at Rachel, who held a watery smile for a moment. Then it dropped from her face as if from a faucet and puddled at her feet.

Emery stared at Derrick as he got in his SUV and drove off.

“Em,” Rachel called softly from behind her.