Razorblade Kisses(93)

“Em, what did you tell him?”

“He knew it was something, but he couldn’t figure out what happened to me. It’s like he can see me...the real me.”

“So you told him what, Em?” Rachel asked again.

“I told him that I was running. That I ran here because the person who abused me found me in Nashville. I told him that I was broken, and damaged, and he shouldn’t want me. I told him he could do so much better. I told him I may leave again.”

“Oh, Em. You are so wrong on so many levels. If he’s half the person you’ve been describing to me for all these months, I think Tim sees you and knows that you’re worthy of love, of respect, of adoration… You feel like you have no worth and no value, but you do. When you open up, Em…it’s beautiful. You actually glow, and your strength is amazing.” Rachel sighed. “Listen to me, Em. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have your toes curl on a daily basis. You deserve everything.”

“I’m a liar,” Emery whispered.

“Em, I’m sorry.”

Silence. Emery traced the scars on her left arm, the marks and reminders that she couldn’t do what she’d been doing. She couldn’t be falling for someone.

“What did he say, Em?”

“He said...” Her voice broke with an emotion she hadn’t felt since she was twelve. “He said he loved me.”

An audible exhale sounded through the phone. “Em...if someone knows all the ugliness and stays, that’s love.”

“I didn’t say it back,” Emery responded quickly.

“I understand, but you do, don’t you?”

“I...” Emery looked into her coffee. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do, you just haven’t felt it before. If you told him what you did, you love him. It’s like with me. You knew immediately you could trust me, and that you would love me. We clicked. Did you feel it with him?”

Emery smiled at the memory of her and Rachel in handcuffs at Perimeter Mall. “Truth?”

“Of course, always.”

“I think I felt it in the dance club, and that’s why I ran.”





CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Normal?



From: Romona Hicks

To: Rachel Helms

Make sure you check in on my sister this week. Her birthday is next week. I’ve sent you something to give her. Please give it to her on her actual birthday. Also, tell her I love her very much. I’m worried, Rachel. She’ll be thirteen.



Tim’s work schedule was interfering with them seeing each other, but he’d been sending her sweet texts every day.

I miss the curve that goes from your ass to the back of your leg

I could get lost in that curve

I could live in that curve

That set of texts came early on Friday morning right after midnight, followed with a plea to eat lunch with Meme.

Meme is worried about your soul

According to her you need to be saved

Lunch is the only recourse

Emery giggled at his texts and shot back her response.

Well if that is the only way to save my soul, I’ll have a go at it

Will sweet tea be served?

Tim’s response was swift.

Sweet tea is always served

Emery put her phone on her bed and tried to think of a comeback, but her phone buzzed with another message.

Thank you. It means everything

So she agreed to go and have lunch with Tim’s grandmother, because it meant everything and it was something she could give him.



Emery was sitting at a wooden farm table on the back porch in the shade of several huge trees, running her finger up and down her mason jar of sweet tea while she waited for Meme to come with their lunch. Tim was working a high school football game today so he couldn’t come with her, but she didn’t want to cancel.

“Here we go,” Meme sang as she walked into the screened-in porch that overlooked the path to the beach. She set two places of chicken salad, complete with grapes and goat cheese.

“Wow, this looks amazing,” Emery commented.

“I should have you over more often.” Meme laughed. “Henry never gives me compliments on my culinary skills.”

“Do you think he’s just used to the awesome?” Emery asked before she shoveled a huge forkful of the chicken salad into her mouth.

Meme laughed a full belly laugh, which caused Emery to start laughing as well.

“Maybe.” Meme nodded, then wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Emma, Tim told me you two had a falling out a couple of weeks ago. You okay?”

“It wasn’t a falling out,” Emery replied.

“What was it then, dear?”

Emery looked toward the beach for a few seconds and then turned back to meet Meme’s eyes. “I’m going to lose him,” she said simply. “It could be in a heartbeat, a month, or a year, but I’ll lose him and when I do, it will destroy me.”