RUIN(17)

"We were down there for more than ten minutes. I tried to convince him over and over again not to leave Boston."

I wish I would have heard that exchange. It would have offered a lot more insight than the fragmented part of their conversation I heard. "It doesn’t change what I heard."

"I was grasping at straws at that point." His body stiffens. "I'd told him in the lobby that I needed more time with you. I told him it was because of Noah. I was worried that if I told him I was involved with you as more than friends that he'd beat a path straight to your door and tell you that I knew him."

"So what I heard when you two walked in was…"

"It was my desperate attempt to get Parker to stay put in Boston so I'd have time to confess everything to you and beg you not to leave me for him," he interrupts me in a rush.

I can't look in him in the eyes as I process it all. The words I heard him say to Parker that day had bitten right through me. They'd stolen all the promise I felt for a future with him away in a flash. "You didn’t seem very surprised to see me there."

He tilts his head back as his jaw clenches. "I was in shock. I thought that was it. I thought you'd made up your mind and that you were there to take him back."

I shudder physically at the thought. "You were so calm and you just left me there with him."

"When I saw you two together, it finally hit me." He pushes his hand into his chest. "I saw how real the pain was for you. I saw how hurt you were by both of us. I knew I had to leave you there to find your way out of it."

I should feel abandoned by that. I should feel as though Ben ran away to leave me in a cage of uncertainty with Parker, but that's not what I feel at all. "You left me there to make my own choice."

"I did." He closes his eyes briefly. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I knew I had to stop manipulating it all. I knew that if I lost you, that it was because it was what you needed to be happy."





Chapter 12




"I have to go." He pulls his boxer briefs on before he stumbles against the bed in his haste to get his pants back on. "Shit, Kayla. I'm sorry."

I nod. I'd watched all the color drain from his face when he answered his cell not more than two minutes ago. He'd barely responded after listening to whatever the person calling said to him. "Is it work?"

"No." He reaches over the bed to pull his shirt from where it landed when he'd stripped his clothes off after tenderly undressing me. "It's just…"

"Ben?" I'm on my knees on the bed now, the sheet lazily wrapped around my nude body. "What is it? Is it Noah or Ron?"

His eyes scan my face. "Get dressed. I need you."

I don't hesitate at all as I jump to my feet to pull my jeans and sweater back on. I push my feet into my flats quickly and before I have time to run my hand through my hair, I'm chasing him through the bedroom door.

"I need my bag." He pushes his cell phone into my palm. "Hold this for me."

I reach for the phone, tossing it into my purse as I watch him fling open the door to a closet. He rummages through it quickly, pulling out a black overnight bag. "We need to find a cab now."

He's out the apartment door before I have time to ask any questions. My eyes settle on his keys. They're still sitting atop the desk where he threw them when we first arrived hours earlier. I snatch them into my fist as I race out the door, locking it behind me before I dart into the waiting elevator.

He holds out his hand. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I push myself up to my tiptoes to graze my lips across his cheek.

"I need you so much." His hand rests on my back, nudging me closer as he settles his lips against my hair. "I really need you."

He scoops my hand into his as the elevator chimes its arrival in the lobby. I can barely keep up to his wide strides. We breeze past the doorman who takes one look at Ben before he's on the curb, whistling for a cab. He knows. The doorman has seen him like this before.

I don't say a word as Ben pushes me into the backseat of the taxi with a knowing nod to the doorman who leans in the passenger side window to give the driver an address I don’t recognize. I hold tightly to Ben's hand as his legs shake and he slaps his other hand against the seat next to him.

"If you avoided the park altogether, we'd get there faster."

The driver doesn’t acknowledge the words but judging by the quick and unexpected right turn the car takes, he gets the message loud and clear. The taxi races through the crowded streets as we sit in utter silence.

"Pay him, Kayla. Please, pay him." Ben pulls his wallet from the pocket of his pants as he opens the car door when we finally come to a screeching halt. "Meet me inside."