RUIN(21)

"I know you will. You're the smartest woman I know."





Chapter 15




"We haven’t talked about the wedding much lately." Alexa breathes a sigh as she runs her manicured fingernail over the edge of the coffee cup.

I've been neglecting her since I left for Boston. She hasn't complained. In fact, she's been nothing but gracious and kind with endless text messages and phone calls asking me if there's anything she can do to help me. She also hasn't pried when it's come to my relationship with Ben. I know she's dying to know where we stand and if I'm being utterly honest with myself, I'm bursting at the seams to share things with her. "I'm sorry about that, Lex."

"You have a lot going on." She taps her hand over mine. "Tell me what's happening in your life."

I start with the boring bits about work and waiting to hear on whether I've been accepted into the master's program. I don’t delve into the details about how I'm completely unfulfilled working for Vivian. In the grand scheme of things, I have a job that pays well, offers me great benefits and allows me the opportunity to get an education I'd otherwise never be able to afford.

We pause when her phone rings. She pulls her finger over the screen and immediately starts telling Sadie everything she needs done between this very moment in time and her big day. I stare at her, watching how animated her expression is as she talks about the final alterations on her dress.

"I'm sorry, Kayla." She finally puts the phone back on the table just as I finish the last sip of my now cold coffee. "Sadie is a bundle of nerves."

"That makes two of you," I say with a grin while holding up my thumb and index finger. "If I get married one day, remind me to elope."

"If Ben is anything like Noah, he'll want a big wedding."

I don't respond. I can't because it would mean I'd be acknowledging something that I haven't even allowed myself to fantasize about. Ben and I are still testing the very shallow waters of our relationship. We haven't even gotten past everything that happened in Boston a few weeks ago. It still hurts to think about the words he said to Parker. He may have been saying them to hold onto me but my doubt hasn't completely disappeared yet.

"Has Noah spent any time with Ben?" I ask to buck us off the uncomfortable saddle she's put us in. I won't talk about anyone's marriage but Alexa's. That's a hard and fast rule I'm definitely sticking to.

"They're having lunch together today." She shrugs her left shoulder. "Noah seemed stoked about it."

"Ben didn't mention it." It stings to say the words even though it's juvenile to be hurt by something so mundane. I hadn't mentioned that I'd be seeing Alexa to Ben either when he kissed me goodbye after spending the night at my place.

"Do you trust him?"

I wish I could say I'm surprised by the question. I'm not. Even though Lex sang all of Ben's praises after I came back from Boston, I know that she's still reserving final judgment on him. I can tell that she sees Ben as the lesser of two evils in her mind's competition of him and Parker.

"Is there a reason I shouldn’t?" I push it back on her because I don't want to lie to her. If I was forced to answer her question, I'd have to tell her that there's still a fraction of doubt within my heart.

"I don't know of any reason you shouldn't trust Ben." She tips her chin in my direction as she throws me a wink. "I'm taking cues from Noah anyways."

"What does that mean?"

"You know he thinks of you as a younger sister, right?"

"He said that to you?" My voice rises as I ask the question.

She raises both brows. "Noah wants only the best for you. He told me you're his favorite."

"His favorite what?" I ask tentatively. I'm almost afraid of what the answer will be.

"You're his favorite of my friends."

"You mean he likes me more than he likes Sadie?" I raise my hand. "One point for Kayla. Finally."

"Don't tell Sadie."

"Why? Because she'll fall to pieces?" I smirk. "I'll keep it quiet. It's our little secret."

"I'm being serious." She runs her finger along the edge of her cell phone's case. "He went to so much trouble to make sure you weren't making a mistake."

I'm lost. If she's referring to the infrequent meetings I had with Noah to discuss Ben, that doesn't seem like that much trouble to me. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"That file of stuff, he has." She pulls her index finger and thumb apart about an inch. "That file is huge. It didn't come cheap."

I scratch the back of my head. "What are you talking about?"

"The private investigator," she whispers the words so softly I wonder if she thinks we're being watched by one right now. "That man he hired to get the goods on Ben."