RUIN(13)

I tap out a response telling her I'll be at the dress shop on time tomorrow after I'm done at work. I scroll through my other messages before noticing one from Parker. I delete it without reading it. I won't open myself up to him again. Parker's promises hold no weight for me.

"I'm sorry I had to do that." Ben's voice calls to me from the edge of the hallway. "Work is never ending for me."

I stare at him as he enters the space. The arms of his dress shirt are rolled unevenly and pushed up above his elbows, showing off the firmness of his forearms. His navy pants are wrinkled and the belt's end hangs loose. At first glance he looks disheveled and careless but I know it's only a reflection of his commitment to his patients. He's worked hard today. The evidence is there in the tightness of his jaw and the wrinkle of his brow. He's concerned and he's anxious and his need to call the hospital so soon after leaving there is proof that being a doctor is more than his job. It's an integral part of him, just as much as being Noah's brother is.

"Sit with me," I whisper as I pat the cushion next to me. "Please, Ben."

He's there in an instant, tossing his phone on the table as he lowers himself next to me. He pulls my hand back into his before he closes his eyes and brings it to his mouth. "Thank you for coming here, Kayla. Thank you."





Chapter 9




"There are so many of them." I can't pull my eyes from the screen of his smartphone. "Noah told me a little about it, but he didn't say it was like this."

One of Ben's hands rests on my thigh while the other is cast behind me across the back of the sofa. He's leaning so close to me that I can smell the intoxicating scent of his skin. "Noah scrolled through a bunch of them."

I nod slowly. "Why did you keep them all?"

"I kept the first one because I'm bad at clearing out my phone." A small chuckle moves his chest forward a touch. "Once Parker mentioned your name I wanted to have them just in case I ever needed to show you."

I drop the phone to my lap. "You really didn't know who he was when you gave him the money for the ring, did you?" It's a question that I've already found the answer to in the saved messages on his phone. I read Parker's text thanking Ben for the gift.

His brow cocks. "He was just a random guy I had a few drinks with. He seemed down on his luck. I wanted to help him out."

"He's an ass," I mutter beneath my breath. It's an accurate description given the fact that I've just read more than three dozen messages on Ben's phone from Parker. Messages where he tells Ben that he's unsure if he's in love with me or Elsie and messages where he confesses to a split second decision to ask Elsie to marry him the day after he returned to Boston after meeting Ben.

He reaches to take the phone from me. "He's confused. He's not worthy of someone like you."

At any other moment in my life I'd find the words cheesy, but now they are anything but that. "Why didn't you tell me right away? You should have told me you knew Parker."

He places the phone on the cushion next to him before he raises his hand to his brow. He slowly runs it over his forehead. "You're the most amazing person I've ever known."

It's not an answer to my question. I want to push but I can sense from the tension in his shoulders that I need to let him set the pace.

He closes his eyes briefly before his hand juts back to mine. "I've been close to one person in my life."

"Your mother," I offer. It's not a question. It's a fact. I know that is his truth.

"Yes." He tilts his chin down. "When she died I stopped feeling anything."

I've never dealt with a death that profound so the emotional compass I'm operating with in terms of grief is very different than Ben's. I've imagined loss but I don't believe that's the same thing. I know it's not. Since meeting Ben, I've seen the devastating impact that death can have on someone. "I'm sorry you lost her."

"I am too," he says through a heavy sigh. "I went into medicine to heal people. It gave me a focus that I really needed. I can help a lot of people without getting too emotionally attached."

"You care for your patients." I still as I stare at his handsome face.

"I try to stay objective with them." He pops his brows up as he looks at me. "It's not always easy."

I want to know more about that because it's the very essence of who he is. Today is a perfect example of that. When I first turned towards him on the street, I could see the concern in his face. Part of that was directed towards me, but there was more beneath the surface. It's not possible for him to walk away from his work when the clock strikes four the way I do. He carries it with him. It's always there, pulling at him in ways I'll never truly grasp.