New Year at the Boss's Bidding(24)

'Do you think that's possible?' She couldn't stay here. How could she ever have thought a fling with Xavier would help her?

He shrugged out of his coat, hung it up and looked down at her. 'Maybe not today, tomorrow perhaps.'

The sooner they returned to reality the better. 'I hope you are right.'  She didn't want to be around when he tired of her, but maybe he already  had.

His eyes searched hers, and for a moment she thought he might kiss her  and her lips parted as her heart rate accelerated wildly. She wanted his  lips on hers, wanted to be in his arms, but she couldn't be the one to  start it.

'I'll make something for lunch,' she said briskly restraining her  wayward desires. Her arm brushed against his as she passed him, sending a  hot spark of shock through her. She had to get away from him. Maybe  then she could rationalise what was happening between them. Label it and  shut it away, never to be explored again. It had happened and evidently  he wished it hadn't.

With this thought in mind Tilly made herself scarce all afternoon,  spending time wandering around the rest of the old house, but it was too  cold to linger for long and as the afternoon began to fade she made her  way to the small lounge they'd slept in last night, anxious that the  electricity still wasn't working. The thought of spending the night  alone in the cold darkness of her room was like being abandoned all over  again, but she couldn't let it show.

'Looks like we still need the candles,' she said casually as she  entered the room, to find Xavier sitting at his desk, with one candle  alight and the fire burning brightly, reminding her of last night all  over again.

She felt him look at her but moved to the window and stared out at the  snowy landscape. It had stopped snowing, the wind had calmed and the  first few stars were beginning to show themselves in the twilight sky.

He dropped his pen onto the desk, the noise making her turn to him.  'Don't worry, cara, I have made enquiries this afternoon. We should have  the power back by nightfall.'

Relief flooded her, quickly followed by regret. She wouldn't have to  worry about the darkness tonight, but that also meant she would have to  sleep alone and after last night that was going to be hard, especially  when they were still in their surreal world, still very much alone. The  thought of continuing her romantic fling filtered through, but that  would never happen. It had just been one night to him and should have  been the same for her, but it wasn't.

'That's a relief,' she said quickly, trying to hide the blush that  crept over her cheeks just thinking of what had happened in this very  room last night. She had to remember Xavier Moretti could never be part  of her life.                       
       
           



       

'So you don't like the idea of another night in front of the fire?' The  teasing torment in his voice was hard to ignore as he unwittingly  tapped into her thoughts. She continued to stare out at the wintery  scene, knowing he was watching her. She could feel his eyes on her, knew  by her racing pulse that it was more than a curious glance. 'That is  not very spontaneous.'

She whirled round to face him. She'd never been like that, preferring  always to be in control. That way she didn't risk being hurt. It was why  she didn't understand the way she acted around Xavier. No man had ever  made her so reckless, but, then, never before had she intended to have a  fling. 'No, it's not, and as we've established, last night should not  have happened.'

'You were very spontaneous last night-and very passionate.'

He stopped in mid-sentence and she walked towards him, eager to make  her point but instantly wishing she hadn't as her body leapt to life  with heat and desire. 'Last night I wasn't myself. I have never done  anything like that before.'

'I understand, Tilly.' The smooth seductiveness of his voice caressed  her jangled nerves, soothing the anxiety. 'Much more than you might  think.'

As if sensing she was giving in, he stood up and very slowly moved  towards her. 'What do you understand?' The question came out as a  whisper as she tried to think over the throbbing beat of her pulse. How  could this be happening again? How could she lose control of herself so  quickly?

'That you were afraid of the passion that burnt in you, afraid because of what happened with Jason.'

'It has nothing to do with Jason.' As she spoke, everything became  clear. She'd loved Jason in a gentle, platonic kind of way and it had  taken Xavier and one enforced night in his company to show her what real  love was.

No wonder Jason had wanted more than companionship. She hadn't been  able to love or let passion into her heart and their relationship. Her  childhood had ensured that but it didn't justify him jilting her on  their wedding day.

She looked at Xavier, the man she had been passionate with, and saw the  dark intensity in his eyes. Did he believe her? Did he know he'd  unlocked things she'd been shutting out all her adult life?

'Well, mia cara, whatever the reason for last night, you should be that  spontaneous woman again, live for the moment, but most of all you  should let passion into your life.'

'Is that the voice of experience?' She couldn't keep the mocking tone  from her voice. Who was he to tell her what she should be?

He moved closer still but she didn't step back, even though she could  have. She held his gaze, desperate to prove passion wasn't burning  inside her, as he'd said. But it was a lie. The embers of last night  were being coaxed to life. It was happening all over again and she  couldn't let it.

Suddenly the dimly lit room was flooded with light. Lamps glowed as the  power returned. The shadows receded, taking with them her fears and the  passion Xavier had almost rekindled.

'Thank goodness.' Quickly she moved away from him and the temptation of  his touch. 'At least we will have heat and light this evening.' It also  meant she'd be able to sleep alone in her bed.

'And we will not have to spend another night here in front of the  fire?' His sexy accent gave those words a deeper meaning, one she  couldn't think about.

She shot him a glance, his dry tone echoing her own relief. She had to  get out of here right now, before she gave in to the newly discovered  spontaneity he'd mentioned and asked him to take her to his bed.

'As you are busy with work, I will say goodnight.' She kept her voice  firm and devoid of any emotion, the unruffled exterior she normally  lived behind returning as the panic of earlier ebbed away.

His brows flicked up briefly, but the shocked expression was soon  replaced by the cold calmness she'd seen that morning. 'That is not  necessary, not when there is a warm fire here.'

'I think it is, Xavier. As I said earlier, what happened last night shouldn't have.'

'But it did happen, cara.' He moved towards her again. She held her  ground, standing tall, her chin lifted in a blatant show of defiance.  'And that cannot be undone.'

'I know that.' The strangled whisper that slipped from her alarmed her  as much as the thought of spending more time with a man who made her  feel emotions she just wasn't ready to experience.

'Take candles and matches with you,' he said dismissively, and even  though she was relieved he'd let the subject go, she couldn't help the  disappointment that crashed over her.                       
       
           



       

'Goodnight, Xavier.' She forced as much control as possible into her  voice, picked up the candles and matches and headed for the door. She  was almost sorry to leave the warmth of the fire for a room that would  probably still be cold after almost twenty-four hours without heat, but  she couldn't stay here with him any longer. Not when he tested her,  pushing her towards everything she'd always resisted-everything she  should still resist.

'Tilly?'

'Yes?' She swung round to look at him, cursing the excited hope that flared to life.

'Sleep well.'

She nodded then left before she gave in to the temptation to rush over  to him, throw her arms around him and be the woman she'd been last  night-the woman who loved him.

* * *

Xavier watched Tilly go and felt every last bit of willpower being  tested. He wanted to go after her, sweep her into his arms and carry her  to the large four-poster bed in which he'd spent the first night at the  manor-alone.

He wanted to kiss her until she surrendered to him. He wanted to lure  out the woman he knew deep down she was. The passionate and sexy woman  who'd spent last night in his arms.

Instead he stayed brooding over his paperwork, her claims that last  night had been a mistake banging around in his head. Obviously, despite  her bold way of proving his scars didn't matter and telling him the  accident had been just that, she felt differently.

She was the only woman he'd let close since the accident, the only  woman he'd made love to-and she was pushing him away, telling him a  fling was all she'd wanted. Yet she'd been a virgin.