More Than I Wanted(43)

“I don’t think about it that way. It’s just my past,” I said, shrugging it off. Maybe I did. Maybe if someone had swept me off my feet, made me feel special, I’d feel differently. But the truth is that there wasn’t somebody special until later. I suddenly felt a little ashamed that I’d given it away so easily, when a man as handsome as Austin, a guy who could get anyone he wanted, cherished his virginity and gave it to someone special to him.

I desperately was trying to think of any other topic to change the course of our conversation, but I was stuck. I was fixing to move on, but I stumbled and couldn’t stop thinking about his words – and Emily once again.

We finally got over the hurdle and moved forward. We talked about pets we had growing up, friends, and vacations we took over the years. Heather and Scott’s baby was a topic, as was every kind of food and favorite dessert we could think of. We shared favorite movies, bands, and television shows. It was a continual flow of sharing. I was taking in as much information as I could, and giving back just as much.

He liked sausage and pepperoni on his pizza, but sometimes he liked it plain. His parents weren’t fond of pets, so they weren’t part of his household. His sister was eight years younger than he was, and while he adored her, they weren’t especially close due to the age difference.

His favorite desserts were pumpkin pie and cheesecake, though a good bowl of ice cream would never be turned down. I loved learning tiny details about him, and tucked away as many as I could remember. I wanted to know everything, no matter how mundane he thought the topic was. I was trying to absorb every single detail that I could.

Austin’s phone rang, and as he ran to the other room, scooping it out of the pocket of his jeans, he flipped it open answering it. He put his finger to his lips to shush me.

“Hey Mom,” he said.

I felt a weird twist in my stomach. I wanted her to know about me, but it wasn’t my choice.

“Yeah, I know,” it was one sided for awhile. “Mmhmm, I will. Right…” he looked over at me. Taking a deep breath, “There’s something I have to tell you,” he started, and then right there in front of me, he told his mother about this amazing woman who has been in his life for awhile now, and he thought she should know. Yes, he would fill her in on more information later, and with the tiniest little smile, he looked relieved. “Right, I love you too, I’ll call you tomorrow before I go.”

Hanging up the phone, he looked at me. I jumped off of the sofa and into his arms, “Thank you.” I couldn’t believe it, he told her. I didn’t expect it, but that small act meant so much to me. It said that he believed in us. I was no longer a secret, some invisible person that didn’t exist in their world.

A soft smile, “It wasn’t too painful. I think she’s simmering, trying to keep it to a low boil since she knows I’m going away shortly. She’ll keep a lid on it for now, but I’m sure at some point she’ll list every thing that could possibly be wrong with you, even though she’s never met you. Either way, it’s a done deal. I’m going to do you a favor and not give her your information. Trust me; she’s the type to be in touch with way too many opinions. If I can’t reach you, Scott will, I promise.”

It was enough, more than enough. I was ridiculously happy that he said it out loud, taken the initiative and finally told his mother that I was a special person in his life. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. He said it out loud, said I was the one that held his heart, and what girl wouldn’t want to hear those words. He loves me.

The day moved way too quickly, and soon we were drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms. On waking, I knew it would be the last I’d see of him for awhile. I forced myself to wake early, and watch him sleep for a bit. He was such a handsome man, but it was more than that. He owned my heart, plain and simple. There was nobody I’d ever wanted more. Sometimes it overwhelmed me looking over at him; my feelings were so much stronger than anything I had control over.

I reminded myself to snap a picture of us together before he leaves. Pulling my camera out of my purse, I put it in the center of the coffee table so I wouldn’t forget. With that, I crawled back into the warmth of the covers, and snuggled into Austin’s body heat.

When he stirred, he pulled me closer and then drifted back to sleep. Closing my eyes, I replayed the events of the previous night in my mind and fell back into a light slumber. I felt safe in Austin’s arms, secure and protected.

I woke to Austin leaning up on his side, watching me sleep. His hand gently stroked my cheek, and then his finger drew across my lips, “Morning.” His face was relaxed, and he was content.