More Than I Wanted(42)

“I wish I could stay longer, but at least we have tonight.” His words were comforting, but our time was running out.

I nodded, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay, I knew what you meant.” He lowered his voice, “I’ll be back, don’t forget that.”

“Not for one second,” I whispered.

We curled up under the covers, my head on Austin’s chest, his arm wrapped around me, and we talked softly. We shared gossip, stories of our youth, and were just being silly. I treasured every second.

I had a small ache in my belly, knowing these would be our last moments together for a year. If he got R&R, I’d see him for a two week tease, but then he’d be yanked out of my arms again. We’d decided that we’d say our good-byes here, and then he’d take care of last minute things on his own before heading out. I hated that this would be out last day, and I’d have a short bit of the morning, but once that passed, he’d be gone.

He reminded me that we might get a couple minutes of video chat here and there, and he’d call when he could. That would have to be enough. His time would be dictated by the military, and it wasn’t like having a nine to five job over there. His days would be long, his duties many, and stress would be high. He promised to do what he could to contact me as much as he possibly could.

Slowly our words ran out, and our mouths and hands took over, enjoying pleasures of the flesh once again. Making love, I hoped my feelings were obvious. It didn’t seem like words were enough at this point. How could I express such deep love with merely “I love you” – it didn’t seem strong enough to express what I was feeling.

Stirring under the covers, I breathed in his fragrant cologne and nuzzled into his neck. His skin was hot on my lips, and with desire in my loins I tenderly licked and sucked his body.

I couldn’t get enough of Austin. I was trying to absorb every bit of him, soaking each second in, and knowing it would be the last for awhile. I didn’t want to let go, couldn’t. Time was moving too fast.

Austin wrapped me in his arms and rolled up over me, taking charge. Watching him above me, I couldn’t look away, he was captivating. As our eyes locked on one another, I felt him enter me again.

The bliss I felt in those moments was unexplainable. I was mesmerized, watching him over me. The sensations rolling through my body had me breathing heavy, and as I wrapped my legs up and around my lover’s body, I held on tightly, hoping to never let go. The longing in my heart, the craving from my body, it all came together overwhelming me. It was agonizing knowing he’d be leaving soon. And yet it was all consuming, my need, my yearning, and my desire for the man over me.

As we collapsed into a heap, sinking into the covers, we cherished the time we had left. Satisfaction sat on my lips in a soft smile, and I leaned in to kiss him. Austin looked into my eyes, raked his fingers through my hair, and whispered that he loved me.





Chapter 20





We decided on pizza for dinner, and I’d stocked up on a couple snacks to have around the house. I didn’t want to leave. I needed to spend every second with Austin, undisturbed. I wanted to talk, snuggle, make love, and laugh.

Sitting on the sofa, we enjoyed a couple of slices. I turned music on low for background noise and got up, dancing with pizza in my hand. Swaying my hips, laughing and enjoying our time together, I felt silly, but crazy in love.

We tried to keep the mood light, because if we got too serious I’d choke up and get all emotional on him. Sharing stories of our youth and college days, I made the mistake of asking Austin about his first time, wondering if it was awkward or magically. Kick me now; I know some things are better left unspoken. What was I thinking?

He hesitated and said, “It was with Emily.”

“What?” I wished I’d never asked. Why did I do that? It wasn’t my business, but now I’ll always know she was his first. How could she possibly have been his first – it’s not possible, is it?

“I waited,” he said quietly. “Sure I fooled around and stuff, but I waited until I met what I thought was the right girl. I guess at the time she was. It was awkward, and that was that.”

“Wow.” I was embarrassed; it was not only sweet, but nerve wracking. My stomach turned. She really held his heart at one point. “My first time was drunk at a college party, not so special,” I blushed. I suddenly felt like a slut. I didn’t wait; I just let it go in the heat of a drunken moment.

“Do you wish it was different?” He asked, and I hated myself for bringing this topic up. It was a poor choice of conversation, but now we were smack dab in the middle of it.