Loving Lily(38)

Wow. That’s harsh even for her. “Damn. Thanks for letting me know. I’m sure the people that’s around, if they’re out there, could easily tell how much you want me, sweet wife of mine.” Lifting the bottle of brandy, I saluted her. “Good night, Lily Alexander.” Fuck the Tatum. She hated me, there was no denying it anymore.

She growled, pacing in circles as if she wanted to rip her hair out before parking her luscious self before me.



Slowly my hungry eyes took in the delicate dress that I could easily rip by yanking it hard before I noted the fine stems of her legs, gradually heating up as my eyes travelled towards her toned thighs…”God you’re so fucking sexy…” I rasped out with my throat running dry as I reveled of her further more. “This tiny dress is torture…knowing that I can’t have you whenever I want to.”

“Right.” She snorted, rolling her eyes at me. “I’m sure you didn’t have any shortage of that.”

“Does it feel good?” I asked, looking up, peeking at her. “Does it feel amazing to make me feel like shit, that you have the power to just fuck me over because I’d done so time and time again over the years?”

She was apoplectic. “Tell me you’re joking?” she screeched at me, making my ears ring a little. “What the fuck do you want from me, Drake? Grow the fuck up!”

“What do I want?” I murmured before gazing at her with no veils, no masks, but simply baring me, myself, nothing more. “Just be my girl again, Lil…” My voice pleaded. “Just for tonight…just be the girl I’m so fucking crazy about. I just need her back even for a few hours.”

“I can’t.” she gave me a saddened smile. “I’m not that girl anymore. I’ve grown up…”

I suppose my request was just too much even for her. It was wishful thinking, to simply transport ourselves to what we were once, in love and crazy with each other. “You’ve thought of leaving me haven’t you?” I blurted out of nowhere, catching her off guard.



She instantaneously tensed, appearing offended by my question. “That’s not fair—you’re drunk—AGAIN!”

There was no need for emphasis about my drunken state. She knew the very reason why I was here drowning my sorrows away. Getting back to the root of the problem, I challenged her. “Why are you avoiding the question?”

“I am not. I just refuse to answer it.”

“Refusing is the same thing as admitting it.” I rapidly quipped back, not willing to let go of my question. It meant too much to me. Well, it meant everything to me.

She fumed. “You want the truth?” she questioned, almost taunting.

My throat constricted as I watched her helplessly. “Yes. I fucking do.”

“Fine.” She grumbled, nostrils flaring as if she was running out of patience. “You win, okay?” her dark eyes sparked fire, ready for battle if need be. “I did think of it…several times actually. So there…happy now?”

What a heartless thing to say after ripping my heart out. Immense loathing, desolation, desperation was just amongst the other things I was feeling. I was consumed by it all. “And?” My eyes hardened as it connected with hers. “You’re on a roll, don’t leave me hanging like this. Keep on going.” It was an invitation to take the proverbial dagger to repeatedly keep stabbing me until I could no longer feel it, until I was numb from her barbed words and painful truths.

She shrugged, oblivious to the kind of hell she unleashed inside me. “I don’t know…this pregnancy makes it difficult for me to fully focus on the problem. I have to think about so many things before making such a major decision that could change everything.” She paused, considering a moment before adding, “I’m not ready for that yet.”

We had come so far and yet not far enough. In fact, it seemed that we didn’t anywhere at all. As hard as it was to get my vocal chords to work again, I pushed myself to get answers because maybe I won’t ever get the chance to do so again. “So are you’re saying…that the second our child is born, you’re leaving me? Is that it?” These were questions and answers one needed all their full undivided attention. Her answers will forever shape me as a man, as a father and what the future held for me.

“I haven’t figured anything out yet, Drake. I don’t know…. I just don’t know anymore.”

Fuck that hurt. Her words felt like it was finality. Well, maybe it was and I should finally admit the bare facts. That there wasn’t an us anymore. “In three month’s time, we’re supposed to be celebrating our one year anniversary. How ironic is that huh?” I was a sentimental fool and it couldn’t be helped. The anguish that was lacerating me into two was unstoppable. I felt every wretched tearing, each fallen dream, every single moments of happiness turned into ashes at a moment’s notice.