Letting Go(34)

Dash nodded again. “Absolutely. The man has to trust that he is able to provide everything his woman needs, and that her experience with another man is not only pleasurable for both himself and her, but he also has to trust that when it’s all said and done, he is the one she goes home with, is committed to, and that the experience doesn’t give her a taste of the forbidden that she indulges in when he’s not a participant.”

“Permission to cheat,” Joss murmured. “It blows my mind.”

“No, not cheating,” Dash corrected. “Not at all. Cheating is emotional betrayal. When consent is given by both parties, there is no betrayal. It’s why a relationship has to be absolutely solid before ever venturing into that territory. There can be no doubts, no misgivings, and trust has to be well established between the couple. Otherwise it’s a doomed exercise.”

Joss cocked her head to the side. “Does it not work out sometimes? I mean do you know of situations where jealousy became involved? Or the woman ends up cheating or is no longer satisfied with what her Dominant is giving her?”

Dash shrugged. “Of course. It happens. I’ve witnessed couples still in the beginning stages of their relationship rush into situations they have no business being in. It usually doesn’t end well. I’ve found what most often happens is that the man becomes jealous over another man pleasuring his woman and then he starts to doubt his own abilities. He mentally compares himself with the other man in question. Wonders if the guy pleases her more than he can. If she prefers the other guy to her Dominant. As I said, it takes a special level of commitment and trust for such an arrangement to work.”

“And it works for Tate and Chessy,” she said.

It wasn’t voiced as a question, but the inflection at the end of her words made it such.

“Yes, it does apparently,” Dash replied. “They’re happy. Tate is happy. Chessy is happy.”

Joss frowned. “I’m not so sure anymore, Dash. I’m worried about Chessy.”

Dash’s brow furrowed. “What makes you say that?”

Joss shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want it to get back to Tate. It could be nothing. Just a feeling I have.”

Dash frowned. “I’d never betray your confidence, Joss. Nor do I indulge in gossip. And I damn sure wouldn’t tell Tate anything that made him doubt his wife. But I’d like to know why you have your ‘feeling.’”

Joss sighed. “I don’t know really. She just seems . . . unhappy . . . lately. She hasn’t said anything. I know that Tate has been very busy at work. But I don’t think I’m imagining it. Kylie has noticed too. She actually worried that . . .”

She broke off, ashamed to voice what Kylie had suggested. She genuinely liked Tate, and she didn’t believe for a minute that he would abuse Chessy in any way. Things may not be perfect between them but there was no way Tate would ever hurt Chessy. Not physically.

“She worried what?” Dash demanded, concern replacing his frown.

“I shouldn’t say anything,” Joss said.

“It’s too late for that. Now what did Kylie say?”

Joss grimaced. “She worried that Tate was abusing Chessy. We had lunch together. You know that. And I don’t know, Dash. She just seems so unhappy lately. And if you bring Tate up, she clams up and gets this look on her face.”

Dash looked incredulous. “Kylie actually thinks Tate abuses her?”

“I don’t know,” Joss said honestly. “Kylie is . . . Well, you know how she is. You know what she and Carson both suffered. So it’s natural that she would jump to conclusions others wouldn’t.”

Dash shook his head. “No fucking way. The sun rises and sets at Chessy’s feet. Tate is crazy about her. If she’s not happy, there has to be another reason. Maybe they argued. Who knows?”

“Maybe,” Joss said. “I don’t think he abuses her either. Not for a minute. I like him. I like him a lot. And he’s so good to Chessy. I look at them and I feel so . . . envious. It shames me to admit that, but it’s true. I look at them and I want—crave—what they have.”

Dash reached out to stroke her cheek, feathering his thumb over her skin. “You’ll have it, Joss. All you have to do is reach out and take it. It’s yours. I’m yours. For as long as you’ll have me.”

She sucked in her breath. Yes, she knew he wanted her. He’d certainly been blunt enough about that. But he made it sound so . . . permanent. And she had no idea what to think about that.

She wasn’t looking for permanent. She didn’t want permanent. She’d found the love of a lifetime and lost it. She knew she’d never get that back. People just didn’t find perfection twice in a lifetime. Once was hard enough, but twice? Impossible.