Letting Go(36)
“Your expectations seem simple enough,” she murmured. “You want my trust and my obedience.”
He smiled. “In theory, yes, quite simple. But obedience entails quite a lot. You’ll never know from one day to the next what it is I’ll demand of you. The not knowing is a powerful enough aphrodisiac. Anticipation makes it much sweeter.”
“And punishments, Dash? We spoke of what turns me on, but what about you? Do you enjoy meting out punishment on your submissive?”
“If you ask if I’m a sadist and enjoy inflicting pain for the sake of inflicting pain, no. I won’t set you up to fail just so I can punish you, honey. That’s not the way I work. Because I find much more satisfaction in your obedience. That’s what will make me happy. Not you failing a task so that punishment ensues. However, yes, there are some certain aspects of punishment that I enjoy, though I’d argue they aren’t true punishments because both me and my submissive enjoy them. I prefer to think of them as sexual pleasure. That’s what it’s all about. My pleasure. And yours.”
“You like the control,” she mused. “Not necessarily inflicting pain, but inflicting your will on the woman.”
“Now you’re gaining a greater understanding.”
She smiled. “I’ll get there, Dash. Just please be patient with me. I want to learn, to explore. But I’m a little wary and uncertain. I’m so afraid of making a mistake. Of disappointing you and myself.”
His expression became utterly serious. He framed her face in his palms, forcing her to look directly into his eyes.
“You will never disappoint me, Joss. I need you to know that. We’ll find our way together.”
She drew in a deep breath and then smiled. “I believe you. Now that we’ve gotten all of the talk out of the way, when do we start? And how do we start?”
TEN
“I want you to move in with me,” Dash said bluntly.
Joss’s eyes widened in surprise and her lips parted, a rush of air escaping the perfectly formed bow.
“But Dash . . .”
“No buts,” he said firmly. “This won’t be a part-time relationship, Joss. Nor will it be a secret.”
Her brow furrowed with consternation and she shook her head. “But I don’t want anyone to know! Not that I’m ashamed of you. That isn’t it. But this is private. I don’t want our relationship, what our relationship is, to be public knowledge!”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. “It won’t be public, honey. Not certain aspects of our relationship. I’m not going to flaunt it. But I’ll want you here with me, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to move in with you.”
He let his words, their meaning settle over Joss and he saw the instant she realized his purpose.
“Of course,” she said in a low voice. “I wasn’t thinking. Of course you wouldn’t want to be in the house I shared with Carson. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Or to you,” Dash said gently. “This is a fresh start for you, Joss. It needs to be. And in order to do that, you have to break free from the past so you can move ahead with your future.”
“It’s just so sudden,” she murmured. “So much has happened and it’s happened so quickly. I’ve barely had time to process it all.”
“The only thing me giving you more time would accomplish would be giving you more of a chance to back out. I’m not going to allow that. I’ve waited too long. I won’t let you go now. Not when I’m so close to having everything I ever wanted. Maybe that’s selfish of me. But I can live with it if you can.”
She smiled ruefully, her eyes lightening as she glanced up at him. “I can live with that. What else then? I just move here with you?”
“That’s a start,” he said. “Once you’re here, we’ll move further into the physical—and emotional—aspects of our relationship. You’ll find I’m a very demanding man, Joss. I hope to hell you’re prepared for that. I won’t be easy. I won’t have mercy.”
Her pulse leapt, jumping at the pulse point of her neck. “I don’t want you to,” she said huskily.
“Good. Now why don’t we go over to your house so you can pack a few things. You don’t have to get everything today. Just what you need for the next few days. We can always go back for more later.”
Left unsaid was his concern that once she was here, once they embarked on their sexual odyssey, she would run and run hard. Go back to her home and shut him out forever. He hoped to hell she was as strong as she put off and that she truly did want all she’d said.