Dane(49)

     



 

We both stood and shook hands before I left her office and headed to  mine. I no longer peeked in to check on Eden. I decided to stick with  the plan I'd been following all week, not wanting to chance her  following through with her threat and quitting. It was hard to only be  able to see her when something needed to be signed or I had to send her  files to check over, but that was still better than not seeing her at  all. So, I decided I'd take what I could get, and while remaining  professional at work, I'd still give her glimpses of me to show her  this-what we had between us-was real. I knew I might've been toeing the  line, but I couldn't make myself stop altogether. So far my plan was  bearable at best. If I had things my way, I'd see her every minute of  every day for the rest of my life.

"Hey, Dane?" Eden came into my office shortly after I sat down at my  desk. She didn't wait for my response before getting to the point of her  visit. "I was wondering if it'd be okay if I left a little bit early  today. Maybe two hours. If that's pushing it, or if I can't get my job  done by three, then I at least would like to leave by four."

"Is everything all right?" I tried to keep the concern out of my voice  by clearing my throat. It was hard, but as long as I focused on the  papers in front of me and the emails on my computer, and not on her, I  could manage just fine. At least, that's what I told myself.

"Oh, yeah. It's just that I'm moving tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I  had everything packed and ready to go. I'll have to clean the  apartment, and I didn't want to waste the time tomorrow loading  everything up, moving, and then returning to clean." She must've  realized she was rambling, over explaining, because she stopped speaking  and waited in the silence for my response.

I glanced up, taking her in for the first time all morning. She had her  hair up in a tight bun, and her lips were a pale pink rather than the  usual red. A light sweater covered her shoulders, and just like every  day since Monday, she wore dress slacks. I'd thought telling her to wear  pants would help with my desire for her, but it didn't. The way they  fit her hips and accentuated her ass was almost worse than seeing her  bare thighs. I was resigned to the fact there wasn't a single thing Eden  could wear that would not make me want her. I wouldn't be surprised if  the sight of her in a garbage bag would give me a hard-on.

"So you're moving in with Heidi?" I asked, hoping she didn't pick up on my disappointment.

"Yeah. It's not permanent, though. Only until I can find a place of my  own. So I'm trying to do it on my own time and not miss any work. I  didn't want to ask to leave early, but my landlord said he needed the  key by tomorrow night, and I got worried it wouldn't leave me enough  time to do everything."

"Your own place? Why didn't you just stay where you are until you found somewhere else to rent?"

She rocked on her heels, and I could tell by the way she drew her bottom  lip into her mouth she battled with telling me to mind my own business,  but in the end, she answered anyway. "I'm actually looking at buying a  place. And since that's a longer process than renting, I figured it  would be best to stay with a friend and save some money while I hunt for  a house and get approved and all that."

The idea of her finding something permanent instead of temporary settled  an ache in my chest. "So then what's going to happen when you decide to  be with me? Will you sell your place, or are you expecting me to sell  mine?"

One corner of her mouth quirked up just enough to cause her Monroe to  twinkle at me. "That's not really workplace conversation, is it, Dane?"  Then she winked and turned on her heel to return to her office.

Just before she closed her door, I called out, "Fine, then I'll wait until you leave and ask you again."

The click of the door cut off her soft giggle. It was enough to put a  smile on my face and made the rest of my day a little bit easier to  manage. I tried not to think of it being Friday and not seeing her again  until Monday, because that thought was too depressing, but I'd hoped my  plans for the weekend would help pass the time until I could see her  emerald eyes again.



The weekend didn't go as I had hoped. I'd found a reliable realtor and  spent my entire Saturday looking at places he'd found based on my list  of wants and needs. Nothing called out to me. I didn't know exactly what  I was looking for, but I knew it'd speak to me when I found it. So far,  nothing even whispered my name, much less screamed it. Sunday we went  around to a few open houses. All in all, every place we viewed only  added to my list of things I didn't want. I'd asked to stay on the  beach. I just couldn't seem to let go of the idea of not watching the  sunset with Eden, like we had done on the pier so many times before. I  wasn't looking for something temporary. I sought a place we could spend  forever and raise a family in.         

     



 

My list proved to be almost impossible for the realtor.

The condos he found for me only solidified my desire for a house. The  idea of a condo had never appealed to me, but I'd settled for one  because it was what Gabi had fallen in love with, and at the time, I'd  hoped having neighbors close by would make it easier for her to meet  people and make friends. That never happened. So I was able to add "no  condos" to the list for him.

The houses he found were nice, but I didn't love any of them. Half were  old and needed a lot of work. I didn't care for a place I had to fix up.  I was looking for something ready to be lived in, because I didn't have  any intention of waiting long to make things right with Eden. The ones  that were ready to move into screamed money. I may have had it, but I  was never one to flaunt it. That added two more things to the list of  what I wasn't interested in: houses needing work and ones that  unapologetically announced their price tag.

He promised he'd locate exactly what I wanted. Although, I wasn't  holding my breath. I started to think I was being too picky and would  never find anything that checked all the boxes. But he had come highly  recommended, so I decided I'd let him have the week to find something  before I started giving in and letting go of some of my wishes.

Heidi had done as I'd asked, and on Sunday night, I received an email  with everything laid out in black and white. I had planned to see Gabi  first thing Monday morning, and I couldn't have been more relieved to  have everything I needed to execute my plan. I wasn't sure how she'd  take the news, but I was hoping with a week of intensive therapy under  her belt, and with a mediator in the room with us, there wouldn't be any  issues.

On Monday morning I made my way to the rehabilitation clinic that Gabi  now called her temporary home. My hands shook slightly when I opened the  door to the office where our meeting would take place. I'd been with  Gabi for over a decade, but I'd learned to always be prepared for the  unexpected.

"Gabriella has done very well so far in the program," the therapist  began after we made ourselves comfortable in his small office. It was  just the three of us-Dr. Thomas, Gabi, and myself. "We've made a lot of  progress over the first week, and she's been looking forward to sharing  those significant steps with you. Gabriella, why don't you tell Dane  about the things you've learned?"

Gabi fidgeted with the sleeve of her shirt, which she had pulled down  over her wrist, probably to cover the bandage. I knew how hard it was  for me to see, so I could only assume the regret and anguish she felt  knowing what she'd done to herself in a moment of weakness.

"Well, we've talked about what happened to me."

"Be more specific, Gabriella," Dr. Thomas interjected.

She cleared her throat and started over, avoiding any eye contact. "I've  been open and honest about what Todd did to me. I've been able to work  through a lot of the shame I've felt over the years and have harbored  since then. My mom has even come in for a session, and I was able to  express to her how her choices have negatively impacted me."

It sounded like a rehearsed speech, as if one of her doctors had given  her a script to recite. I didn't like how her monologue made me feel. I  was used to her shutting down and keeping everything inside, and  although it was nice to hear her open up about things, it didn't feel  genuine. Her sentences were clearly structured and she said all the  right things, but the words were missing emotion.

"I still have a long way to go." She shifted in her seat and finally  looked at me. "But I'm really learning a lot about managing my emotions  in a healthier way. Talking about it helps, and there's a girl here-I  share a room with her-who talks to me a lot. We have similar stories, so  it's nice to not feel so alone."

I wanted to tell her she never had to feel that way. That I had been  there, right beside her, every step of the way. Had she come to me and  admitted the truth, I could've been there for her even more. But one of  the things I was told prior to coming in was to avoid pointing out the  mistakes she'd made in the past. She needed to focus on moving forward,  and making her feel even more guilt over the things she couldn't change  wouldn't help that. I understood, so I kept my mouth closed and let her  continue.