Dane(47)

"Seriously, Dane. You look like hell. You should go home, get some more  sleep, and come back tomorrow. Don't worry … after spending the weekend in  jail and dealing with Gabi being in the hospital, no one will question  your absence." She didn't even wait for me to take a seat at her desk  before offering advice that only served in beating me down.

"I spent most of yesterday afternoon cleaning up the mess Gabi had made  of the place. By the time I got to bed, I couldn't sleep. And then my  morning routine was interrupted by getting Gabi admitted to the clinic."

"Okay … so go home."

I hadn't given it any thought until now. Aside from the few times I had  to leave early to tend to Gabi when she was distressed and couldn't  handle life on her own, I'd never missed work. The thought never crossed  my mind to take a sick day, and the more I contemplated it, the more  resolved I became to the idea.

"I just might do that. But before I go, I need to talk to you about a  few things. I understand the need to portray me as some worried fiancé  and to paint Gabi as my wife-to-be, but at some point, you're going to  have to set that record straight. And I don't know how it'll look if  people believe I left her after all this."

"I don't know what you mean, Dane. I wasn't aware you two weren't together."

I nodded and waited a beat before explaining. "I ended it with Gabi, and  then Eden and I decided to try to make a go of things. But now with  what happened this weekend, with Gabi trying to kill herself and now  needing treatment and therapy, Eden has decided to cool things off."

"So what do you want me to do with that information? To be honest, I'm  pretty sure without charges being brought against you, the story will  die. I don't expect to have to make any more statements about it, so  there's really no need to set anything straight."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure you weren't planning on calling her my  future wife or anything again. In the event Gabi hears it or reads it  somewhere, I can't risk it planting any seeds in her head."

"I'm confused. Does she not know it's over?"

I rolled my eyes, but decided to answer her anyway. "Yes, she knows."

"Would you leaving her for another woman have anything to do with why she went to the hospital?"

"She doesn't know about Eden." I realized that while I didn't owe  Janette an explanation, giving her half of one wouldn't benefit me  either, so I decided to offer her more. "We had a fight and I left. I  wasn't aware of it at the time, but that night she tried to commit  suicide. It was more than just me leaving her, but she had no idea I was  with anyone else after I left."

"Dane," she said with a tsk. "Please don't tell me you were involved with your assistant prior to that."

"No. Actually, I wasn't. We'd grown close at work and I'd seen her a few  times outside the office. She lives down the beach from me, and  occasionally, I'd see her there-unplanned. And we ended up developing  feelings for one another. Neither one of us ever admitted them or even  acted on them until last week after I left Gabi."

She was quiet for a minute, absorbing what I'd admitted. Then she leaned  forward and clasped her hands together in front of her on the desk.  "And this thing with you and Eden … is it still going on? I'm only asking  so I know how to handle the situation in the event it causes issues at  the office."

"No, it's not. She made the decision yesterday to put it on hold until I  have everything figured out with Gabi. I'm still taking care of Gabi  financially until she can get on her feet. I don't think it's right to  throw her out there all alone with no help, and Eden is worried I'll  change my mind and stay with Gabi once she's better."

She nodded, and her silence continued.

"And while we're on the subject of Eden. Can you please explain why you  didn't call her when I asked you to? I used my one phone call to contact  you and then you didn't do as I asked." This had been eating away at me  and I hadn't had a chance until now to confront her over it.

"My heart went out to Gabi, so I didn't call Eden. I knew there was  something brewing between you and Eden, and I wanted to protect you. I'm  sorry, but it's my job to uphold your reputation, and I couldn't do  that while you had a fiancée in the hospital and a girlfriend on the  side. I figured Eden would find out at work today."         

     



 

"It's not like that. Gabi and I are not together anymore."

"Listen, it's your life. Your choices and whatnot. But if I may offer  you a piece of advice …  When Bill and I first got married, things were  rough. My past hindered me, and he didn't know how to handle it. I  suffered from depression-not to the extent of what you've told me about  Gabi, but I still had moments where I hated myself for decisions I'd  made or things that had happened to me outside of my control. He had a  hard time accepting that was who I was. He didn't just marry me, but he  married my baggage, too. We almost split up. He left for a month and  stayed with a friend. But during that time, we learned to talk again. We  learned to recognize what had made us fall in love with each other in  the first place. Sometimes we forget why we chose the people in our  lives, and we have to remind ourselves what we saw in them to begin  with."

"With all due respect, Janette, I don't foresee myself falling in love  with Gabi again. If I'm being honest with myself, and I think it's about  time I am, I don't believe I was ever in love with her. I loved her,  and I still do. I will always love her and care deeply about her  wellbeing. But we were kids when we got together. I didn't know the  first thing about love. A year after we started dating-we were in high  school, mind you-she was attacked, and it left her feeling threatened. I  took it upon myself to make her feel safe, even if it was only with me.  I've been with her ever since because of that feeling. Wanting to  protect her. I didn't stick it out because I thought she was the best  thing that ever happened to me, but because I wanted to be the best  thing that ever happened to her."

Janette cleared her throat and glanced down at her clasped hands.  "That's truly a sad story. Though I'm sure it'll all work out for the  best, the way it's meant to. Just know if you ever need to talk to  anyone, I'm here." Her eyes met mine, and what I saw reflecting back at  me made my heart slow. "I have a feeling I might relate to you more than  we ever thought."

"I appreciate that, Janette. I really do. And I'll keep that in mind the  next time I need an ear. But right now, I think I'm going to take you  up on that offer and get out of here." The thought of going back to my  office didn't sit well with me. I knew I wouldn't be able to get  anything done while staring at the closed door separating me from Eden.

I needed to get my shit in order before facing her again. Because she  was right. I couldn't take my hurt feelings out on her. It wasn't fair  to either one of us. I had to believe she was hurting as much as I was,  and I had to hold onto faith that everything would work out the way it  was meant to.



I must've been more tired than I realized, because I ended up sleeping  most of the day. I woke up just before the sun went down, starving and  feeling rejuvenated. Realizing there wasn't much food in the house, I  made a TV dinner and then headed down to the beach. I only meant to go  for a walk to clear my head, but I found myself thinking of Eden the  entire time. So much that I ended up passing my condo on the way back  and walked toward the pier. And once I got there, I realized I hadn't  been able to breathe adequately until I found her red hair blowing in  the gentle breeze.

Not wanting to alarm her, or scare her off, I watched my steps and made  my way to her. She stood at the end, leaning over the railing, gazing  off at the horizon. With my hands in my pockets, I stood there for a  moment, capturing the sight like a photograph, taking a mental snapshot,  unsure of when I'd be able to see it again.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I asked, and then noticed her shoulders and spine stiffen.

Eden slowly turned around to face me. "I wasn't sure if you were going  to be here, but I figured it was worth the chance to see the sunset from  this place one last time."

I cocked my head, hoping I'd misunderstood her. "One last time?"

"I spoke to my landlord today about breaking my lease."

"Why? Where are you going?" I repeated, desperate for the answer.

"Heidi from legal is looking for a roommate. She's asked me several  times, but I finally gave it some thought today." She spoke clearly, yet  sounded so down.

I couldn't help but think I was the cause. "You don't have to leave, Eden."

"Yeah, I do. I can't be here anymore. I can see this spot from my  apartment window, and I keep finding myself staring down, searching for  you. I can't live like this. Working with you and living this close to  you is too difficult. It seems to be hard on you, too."