Damaged and the Beas(61)

Feeling guilty for enjoying my life with Cooper while my sister suffered, I could only focus on building something good in Ellsberg. Something Tawny would soon share. At Cooper's urging, I quit my job at Denny's. I should have been terrified to give up my only income, but I trusted Cooper and I were long term. He also reminded me of my nest egg. It was the security net I would never need, but would always have.

One afternoon when we left school in his truck, Cooper took a different route home. I didn't think much about it because I was too relieved by my latest quiz results. As we drove into a part of town full of subdivisions with big houses and parks, Cooper glanced at me and smiled.



       
         
       
        

"I want a kid."

"You're too competitive with Tucker."

"Maybe, but look at the deal I have with the family business. It's just me. Tucker can do manual, no brainer shit, but I'm stuck doing all of the heavy lifting. Bailey seems to get dumber every day, and Sawyer is more than a decade from helping, and that's assuming she wants to. Except for you, I'm alone. One day, when my kid takes over, I'd like to think he or she will have a few decent siblings to help out so they won't be alone on the top."

"That doesn't mean we need to start having them now."

"I was thinking about RVing with the kids like I did growing up and I imagined how we'd go during your breaks from teaching. I saw us young, and I liked that better."

"How soon?"

Cooper laughed. "It's not like a trip to the store, Farah. I figure we'll get settled in. You'll finish the year and feel good about that and then we'll let nature take its course."

"I come from fertile stock. Once I go off my birth control, it could happen fast."

"So it happens fast. Or it doesn't. We know what we must do, and that's being together. We also must finish school and live in Ellsberg. Those are nonnegotiable. The rest are hopes. Like I hope to have a bunch of kids with at least a few non-morons in the bunch so they can help each other run the business. I hope they'll take over when you and I are young so that we can travel. That's my hope, but who knows if it'll happen."

Sighing, I wouldn't mind starting a family as long as I knew I would finish school. Even if I never taught a single class, I wanted the accomplishment of gaining a degree.

"I don't know how good of a mother I'd be," I admitted. "I've never even held a baby, and I wasn't exactly raised well."

Cooper pulled into a wooded cul-de-sac and then parked in one of the driveways.

"If you take care of our kids the way you took care of your tables at work, they'll always be clean and well stocked."

Laughing, I rolled my eyes. "I take pride in my work."

"Yes, and you'll take pride in being a mother. Just because you came from shit doesn't mean you're shit. You're so much better than what you've known, and I bet you'll be a fucking awesome mom."

"And you'll be an amazing dad."

"Hell yeah. I'm great with kids. I have this talent where I listen to them babble, but not too closely so I don't lose my mind."

Laughing again, I looked around. "Where are we?"

Grinning, Cooper opened his door and then waited for me to walk around and join him. 

"The guy who owns this house is looking to ditch it quick. Pop said it's a solid house. It just needs character. Basically, the whole inside is a beige turd. Plus, it'll need new floors and stuff. Let's go inside."

Holding Cooper's hand, I followed him up to the front door. Big and beautiful, the house felt empty and unloved. The lawn was overgrown with as many weeds as grass. Still, the large window above the front door was stunning.

"So your dad wants this house?" I asked, following him into the two-story foyer.

"Baby, what's my pop going to do with a little house like this?"

"Little? It's huge."

"For suburbia, but my parents wouldn't live here. It's for us."

"You want to live here?" I asked, breathing too fast.

"I know it's bare bones and beige up the ass but use your imagination."

Cooper tugged me towards double doors leading into a room. For some reason, one of the doors was painted red.

"This would be our office. Imagine two desks and all of your school stuff in here. You can shut the door and study when you get home from school."

Smiling full of panicked excitement, I stumbled along as Cooper led me to a nearby room with a missing light and torn up carpet.

"This is supposed to be the dining room. I don't see the point of a dining room, but I guess if we have a lot of people over, we can stick them in here."

Next, Cooper showed me the small guest bathroom and then a room adjacent to the two-story family room.

"I wasn't sure what to do with this room when I looked around earlier. Then I was thinking about how the basement can be fixed up and made into a game room. A man cave is what guys call it. So if I get a man cave, you need a chick cave so I thought we could make this room for you. A quiet spot where you can watch TV or read or do whatever you want."

Saying nothing, I just smiled like crazy while trying to imagine myself in this big house. Cooper directed me to the family room where more carpet was torn up.

"This guy and his friends trashed the place, but we can paint and put in new floors. The kitchen is a decent size, and we'll make that nice too. Clean the whole place up and make it just like we want."

"You want to live in the suburbs?" I asked, standing in the kitchen with my hands on the island.

"No, but I want to live with you in the suburbs. My girl has a dream, and I want it to come true. One day, we'll build that big house in the woods. For now, we can live here. It's not far from the college and stores. It's big enough for us, Tawny, and a kid or two. I can't bring all of my dogs, but a few will fit. It'll be comfortable. Unless you don't like it?"

"Coop, when Tawny and I daydreamed about living somewhere nice, we never dreamed of something this nice."

Grinning, he sighed. "I wasn't sure you could see past all the fucked up carpet and shit. It's a solid house though. Pop's right about that. It's in a nice quiet area with families. You could feel safe here. Now let me show you upstairs."

We walked up one of the two staircases to a walkway. "The first thing we'd have to do," Cooper said, frowning, "is paint this fucking place. I can't stand beige. It looks like old dog shit."

"I don't care what color the walls are. This house is amazing."

Cooper stopped walking and crossed his arms. "It might not be the right house, though. Standing up here, I'm not sure I like it as much as I thought."

Panic struck me because I already imagined this as our house. I pictured a life with Cooper and our family here, but now he was changing his mind.



       
         
       
        

"Why are you crying, baby?" he asked, wiping my cheeks. "We'll find another house."

"Okay."

"But you like this one."

"I really do, but if you don't like it, we'll find something else."

Cooper kissed me softly. "I was just fucking with you. I love the house too."

Wiping away the tears, I glared at him. "Why would you fuck with me like that?"

"To make sure you were telling the truth. I don't want you being happy because you think it's your job to agree. I want you to tell me the truth. You just did so let's look at the bedrooms."

Irritated, I followed him down the walkway to two small bedrooms with a bathroom in between.

"Here's what I was thinking," he said, ignoring my anger. "Tawny will stay with us for as long as she wants, but these aren't big rooms. What if one room is her bedroom and the other is like her hangout space?"

"Two rooms?" I asked, losing my irritation. "She's never even had a bedroom to herself."

"Well, I take care of my family, and my sister-in-law can't be shoved into a tiny bedroom." Grinning big at him, I stared until Cooper rolled his eyes. "I'm not proposing. Not for real until Tawny is here. I want you to get all squealy, and you can't be truly happy until your sister is safe. Once she's here, though, I'm going all out on the romance stuff. I'll propose the shit out of you."

Laughing, I wiped my eyes. "You love me."

"More than you can know. Speaking of loving," he said, giving me a wink, "let's check out the master bedroom where I plan to spend a lot of time inside you."

"Hmm …  sounds nice."

Cooper tugged me down the walkway to the other end of the hall and a small bedroom.

"This can be the baby's room. We could stick a few kids in here. That way they're close to us and away from Tawny."

"This is nice, but I want to see where we'll make those babies."

Cooper gave me his horny expression and then nudged me to the next room. "Imagine it with new floors, paint, less trash on the floor."

"I imagine the bed right here," I said, grinning. "Us on top of it … Hey, where are you going?"

Cooper disappeared into a closet and then returned with a box. "We're trying out the house tonight to make sure we like it. Food and drink are in the kitchen. We'll sleep on this inflatable bed. I'm not interested in sleeping right now, though."