Damaged and the Beas(59)

"I'm going to kill you, Farah," Amy said with complete sincerity.

"No, bitch, you're going to run and hope you're faster than Cooper. Knowing your tendency to fuck up, you won't get very far. Now back off."

The banging on the front door startled Tex, who looked ready to grab the mirror shard. The bastard still thought he could fix things, but it was too late. My face was a mess, and I had bled all over my clothes. There was no way Tex could sell this was an accident or misunderstanding.



       
         
       
        

"I've called the cops!" a booming voice said through the door as I passed by Tex and Amy. Grabbing my backpack, I opened the door to find a neighbor looking freaked out. "What the hell?" he said, likely worrying someone other than me had a weapon.

"Did you really call the cops?" I asked, slamming the door and hurrying towards the parking lot. "Shit, I don't have my phone."

Going back wasn't an option and then the guy said the only thing I wanted to hear. "I called Johansson. He's on his way."

Thanking him, I suggested he return to his apartment just in case Amy and Tex decided to do something stupid. Stumbling to the front of the complex, I found a spot to hide.

From the very first day, no matter how much Cooper scared me or pissed me off, I knew he was mine. Please let him come for me, I begged while waiting between two cars and cradling my face in my lap.

The sound of an approaching motorcycle electrified my whole body, but I didn't look up. There were plenty of bikers around here. No need to get excited or disappointed. Just wait for Cooper and he'll come. When the bike stopped a few feet from me, I ran to him because the world was ugly everywhere except in his arms. Cooper was my home.

"Fuck," he growled, getting off his bike to look at my face.

"She stole my money," I sobbed, knowing he would understand. "She stole my nest egg."

So angry he was shaking, Cooper started pulling away. "Her boyfriend did that to your face, right? I'm going to fucking kill him."

"Coop!" I yelled, yanking at his shirt. "I need you. Kill the piece of shit later. Right now, I need to get away from here. I hate that bitch, and I need to leave."

As Cooper's gaze focused on the complex, I felt his rage. He wanted retribution, but he finally looked at me as I tugged him back towards the bike.

"I love you, and I need to get out of here."

I love you. Cooper heard those words, and his anger shifted into the needy gaze I saw from him too often lately.

"That piece of shit will bleed," he growled, climbing on the Harley. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't care. I just want to get away from here and keep going until … " Wrapping my arms around him, I sighed. "I needed you, and you came."

When Cooper looked back at me, the raw pain and rage in his eyes made me shiver. "Hold on, baby."

Nuzzling my bloody face against his back, I closed my eyes and soaked in the heat of his body. With Cooper, I was safe and loved, and my future still had meaning.

We rode for a long time, but I just held on and listened to his heart beating over the katydids singing in the woods. The snap of thunder awoke me from the dreamy state I fell into after too long on the road. By the time the droplets splashed down on us, I was ready to pull over somewhere and rest. Cooper found a Denny's at a roadside stop with a few nearby hotels and a store or two. 

Cooper's face was a mask of anger, hard and unyielding, as he helped me off the bike. Hurrying under the awning, I saw a crack in his rage while he examined my face.

"You should be untouchable," he whispered, more to himself than me. "This shouldn't have happened."

"They're stupid people, and you can't fix stupid."

Cooper didn't smile. Just stared out at the pouring rain.

"Can we eat?" I asked, trying to distract him.

"Yeah, baby," he muttered, more interested in revenge than food.

We walked into the restaurant and were seated by a young waitress who avoided looking at my face. The waitress who came to take our order wasn't as squeamish.

"Are you okay, hon?" she asked while refusing to look at Cooper.

"My mom's boyfriend hit me," I said, hoping she believed me.

The waitress nodded. "Want me to get you some ice for your face?"

"That would be great."

After she had walked away, I looked at Cooper who stared out the window at the rain-soaked parking lot.

"I am going to waste that asshole," he whispered. "Don't try to stop me either."

Climbing out of my side of the booth, I noticed Cooper's expression change to panic as if I might leave. Instead, I scooted next to him.

"I saved for three years for my nest egg," I told him, my hand on his chest. "No movies. No snacks after school with Tawny. No new clothes so I could fit in with other kids. I saved every penny I made in tips so I would have a safety net when I got to school. So many times Tawny wanted to do something fun. Something not even expensive, but I told my little sister no every time, so I could keep my nest egg. Three years of doing without, just so my mom and her loser boyfriend could piss it away on a weekend at the casinos." I paused to wipe my eyes. "I don't care what you do to either of them. If they disappeared off the face of the earth, I wouldn't care. I earned that money, and I made my sister go without and it meant shit to my mom. Fuck her and that turd she spreads for."

Cooper held my gaze. "We're bringing Tawny here."

"I love you," I said, believing his words. "I missed you so much, and I don't want to miss you anymore."

Cooper nodded and then glanced at the restrooms. "Why don't you clean up before our food comes?"

Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, I figured I looked like crap and he was having trouble calming down with me bleeding. After washing my face in the bathroom, I surveyed the damage. I'd have two black eyes for sure. My nose looked swollen, but not broken. My teeth were intact. My face throbbed, but I'd gotten lucky. No major damage. Not even the worst beating I'd suffered that year.

Returning to the booth, I sat next to Cooper, needing to be close. When he handed me his phone, I saw my bank account information was pulled up. Before I could ask how he accessed my account, I noticed my nest egg was back.

"Did the lady get it wrong?" I asked, feeling in bizarroland.

"You deserve that money," Cooper said, staring outside again. "You earned it."

"Coop … "

"No, listen," he said, looking back at me. "I need you, Farah. I want you to say yes to me, but if you don't have that money, I'll never be sure if you said yes because you want me or because you need me."



       
         
       
        

"I do need you. No one makes me feel like you do."

Cooper nodded. "I want you back, but I need you to promise me something."

Frowning, I realized he wasn't taking me back, and his condition made me nervous.

"I'll probably mess up again," he said, rolling a napkin hard in his fist. "I love you, and I'm perfect about most things, but I mess up with you. I get too loud or rude or angry, and I scare you. I mess up, and you always run. I want you to promise you won't run anymore. If I make you mad or scare you, punish me. Ignore me, cold shoulder, withhold sex, call me names, whatever, but don't run away. Don't leave me and make my heart hurt like it does when I've lost you. Can you promise me that?"

"Promise I'll never leave you, no matter what you do?"

"I won't cheat. I won't hit you. I won't hit some guy because you're talking to him. But, yeah, I talk out my ass sometimes, and I don't think about how it sounds to you. When I act like a jerk, you need to deal with me, but don't run. I can't chase you anymore because every time I get you back, I feel nervous like I'll lose you again. I need to feel secure in us. I seem to have all of the power, but you give me a lot too. Without you, I feel like things make no sense. Like they don't fit anymore, and I can't live like that. You have the power to rip me apart, and I need you to promise you won't hurt me even though I accidentally hurt you. I promise I'll never do it on purpose, but I need you to promise too."

Twisting around in the booth, I sat on my knees and took his face into my hands.

"The whole reason I wanted Nick was because I had this fantasy in my head about who I am and what kind of life would make me happy. A nice guy wouldn't have known what to do with me when I cried during sex. He wouldn't have pushed my buttons or helped me break down my walls. I was in love with a fantasy for so long, but what I feel for you is real. I wanted a normal guy, but I'm not normal. You make everything wrong with me feel right. Like my crazy is okay. Like my damage doesn't ruin me. I wanted safe, and you seemed dangerous, but with you, I feel safer than I have my whole life. You do that for me in a way no other guy could."

After kissing him softly on the lips, I pulled back and smiled. "And you're a jerk sometimes. You act like a beast with no rules, and I need to accept you the way you accept me. I do most of the time, but sometimes I run because I think away from you is safer. Today, I knew I could only feel safe when I was with you. Not because you kick ass or have money. I just knew you would understand what that money meant to me because you understand me. Besides Tawny, you're the only person who's ever loved me like I needed to be loved. I promise I won't run anymore, Cooper."