Damaged and the Beas(43)

Glancing down at my clothes, I thought they looked just like everyone else's. Jeans and a tee, nothing special, but not trashy.



       
         
       
        

"Let's be honest, bitch," Bailey said, really hitting her groove. "The only reason any guy likes you is because of those lips. You have dead eyes, shitty hair, a weird round head, and small tits. You're nothing special except that they look at you and think of blowjobs. You might want to keep that in mind when you think of discarding my brother."

"I make Cooper mad a lot," I said, hoping to give her an excuse that wouldn't lead to her punching me in the face. "I thought he'd be happier if I gave him space."

"You're so dense. So stupid and poor. You have a rich guy interested, and you want away from him. Look at Maddy. You think she couldn't tell the difference between her birth control pills and fucking Tic Tacs? She figured out what Fuckwad was up to and saw a lifetime of money and security. She let him knock her up because even if they break up, their kid will tie Maddy to Tuck forever. His kid won't want for nothing so neither will she. Maddy might be a poor turd like you, but she's not stupid. Maybe you need to pull your head out of your ass and start thinking about how to make things right with Cooper? Like how many blowjobs will make him forgive you for being such a bitch?"

"Okay," I said.

"Okay," Bailey mocked before walking away.

Skye watched her go and then sighed loudly. "I guess you need to get back together with Cooper."

"I don't think he wants to get back together," I said quietly, walking with my head down and hoping people weren't staring now that Bailey was gone, and it was safe to stare.

"If Bailey says you need to make things right, Coop wants you back. Explains why he trashed that frat house with Tucker last night. He's pissed and probably horny. You fuck him a few times, and it'll be fine. Coop's not that complicated."

I wasn't explaining how the fucking was what made Cooper dislike me. Skye was great at many things and fun to be around, but insightful she was not.

By the time, I started my shift at work, the little lump on the back of my head throbbed. I was also thinking about whether to call Tawny when Cooper walked into the restaurant. Even after skipping his classes, Cooper came into Denny's and walked to his spot in the corner. He hooked up his laptop, pulled out papers, books, and pens, and waited with his hands clasped.

Walking to his table, I saw how Bailey wasn't kidding about him shaving off his hair. With it buzzed short against his head, Cooper looked edgier. Okay, he looked scary. His intense gaze was no longer softened by his blond hair. Now when he stared at me, I only saw those eyes swirling with anger, resentment, and maybe a little longing.

"What would you like tonight?" I asked. 

"No, hello?" he muttered. "We're just strangers now?"

"Sorry," I said, taking a deep breath. "Hi, Cooper. How are you tonight?"

"Didn't you hear, random Denny's waitress? My girlfriend dumped me because I love her too much. Real shame too because we had a great thing going until she blew a gasket over nothing."

"Girls can be such bitches that way. Would you like to order a burger to help deal with the pain of being screwed over by some psycho?"

Cooper didn't smile. Well, his lips didn't, but I saw a gleam of humor in his eyes.

"Unless I can fuck the burger, it won't help much, but pigging out might soothe my broken heart."

"Seasoned fries?"

"Yeah, and bring me the appetizer thing with chicken strips. I'm really going to pig out so when I get wasted tonight, my stomach won't care."

"I'll get this in for you."

When I turned away, Cooper reached for me. "Don't you miss me at all?" he whispered roughly. "You said you loved me and yet you look at me like I'm nothing. How cold are you?"

My eyes burned. "I miss you."

"Bullshit."

"You and I don't work. I make you angry."

"Everything makes me angry. When my team doesn't win a ballgame, I get pissed, but I don't stop watching football. Why would you walk away if you loved me?"

Glancing around, I saw the place was dead as usual. When I turned back to Cooper, I forced out the words.

"You think I'm a lesbian using you for money. And that day at your place when you got so mad, I thought you were going to hit me."

Cooper flinched and then let go of my wrist. "I don't hit girls."

Nodding, I felt awkward under his gaze. "Some men can love a woman and still hit her when they get angry."

"Some men. Like who? Like Daddy? Or do you have a secret ex who smacked you around?"

Stepping back, I wanted to find another waitress for Cooper. He reached for my hand before I moved too far away.

"When my sister and I fight, I never lay a hand on her. When I had a girlfriend who keyed my truck and slashed my tires, I didn't hit her. Even when she tried to cut me, I didn't hit her. Look at me," he said, tugging me closer. "Look at me, Farah." When I finally met his gaze, he exhaled hard. "I don't hit women. I'm not an out of control freak who hits people because I can't stop myself. Everyone I hit, I hit on purpose, and I would never hit you on purpose. I would never hurt you or any woman but especially not you."

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, you would never hit me."

"Damn it," he grumbled when I tugged my hand free. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"I am."

"No, you're humoring me because you're at work. Just talk to me, please. I miss you, and it's killing me pretending otherwise."

Glancing around, I wished someone needed me, but I was alone in the dining room with Cooper. When I looked back at him, I was startled by the pain in his expression. I hadn't thought about how much our breakup would affect him. Mostly because I figured he could find someone else. A pretty fun girl who laughed at his jokes like I did and who enjoyed sex with him like I didn't.

"I'll be on break in a little bit. I could come back and talk then."

"Why not now? There's no one here."

"I'm not on a break, though."

"No one cares."

"I do. I like rules. Without rules, people do whatever they want."



       
         
       
        

"So you think I need rules, is that what you're saying?"

"No, I'm saying some people can get away with doing whatever they want the way you do. Some people are like me and breaking the rules will ruin them."

Cooper inhaled hard and then let it all out. His tight shoulders eased as did the stiffness in his jaw. Nodding, he laid his hands palms down on the table.

"Fine. When you have your break, I want you to bring a drink for yourself and something to eat too. I want you to sit down and act like we're friendly and not like you have no choice. Can you do that?"

"Yes," I said, turning away. "I like your haircut."

Unable to see Cooper's reaction, I didn't dare look back. Instead, I put in his order and then brought his drink. He watched me walk to his table, and he watched me walk away. I wasn't sure what to do so I hid in the bathroom for a few minutes while his food cooked.

Cooper was everything bad for me. He was violent in such a casual way as if hurting someone was like breathing. While he was beautiful, his tattoos reminded me of my greatest fear. He was wealthy, but that just gave him a sense of entitlement. I had nothing and maybe I was nothing, but I wanted to be someone. I wanted to have the life I had dreamed of since I was a kid. A teacher who lived in the suburbs and lived a safe, calm life. Could I have that with Cooper? Not only did he mock my dreams, but he would also hate living in the suburbs. He already had to be a lawyer for his family, so the last thing he needed was to create a dull life with me.

Yet why did it have to be about forever? Couldn't we just spend time together now in college and then go our separate ways when we were older? If I could keep Cooper for a while and know it was short term, I wouldn't feel so suffocated. Not only by the intensity of our relationship, but also by the idea that anything I did wrong could cause him to leave me.

If I stopped thinking love meant forever, I could enjoy all of Cooper's good qualities. No one made me laugh like Cooper except for Tawny. Without my sister nearby, I deserved a taste of happiness, and I wanted Cooper.

When I brought his food to the table, I included a drink for myself. Watching me full of need, he exhaled when I joined him.

"You didn't get anything to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat a fry."

Frowning, I didn't take the fry he offered. "You can't boss me around so much."

"You need to take better care of yourself."

"I don't want a father especially a bossy one like my actual father."

"Your dad is bossy?" he asked, eating the fry I wouldn't take.

"He sometimes drank and got edgy and bossed my sister and me around." 

Cooper studied me. "Did he hit you?"

"I missed you," I said, changing the subject to one I was certain he would like.