Damaged and the Beas(46)

Thursday night, Cooper was especially horny. He couldn't get enough, and we would barely finish before he was ready to go again. I didn't know him well enough to gauge if this was a normal thing for him or if something in particular set him off. I did sense he was clingier than usual. Territorial too, so likely something irritated him, but he wouldn't tell me what?

By the time we fell asleep sweaty and exhausted, the clock read after two. I wasn't sure how I would get through the next day with so little rest, but the exhaustion would be worth it. Cooper fell asleep with a smile on his face like he had finally worked out his issues with enough naked time.

I rarely dreamt of the ugly incident. Most nightmares were about embarrassing myself at school like when I walked around with a blood stain on my butt. Occasionally, I dreamed of my parents hitting me or Tawny and me running from something. Those dreams were upsetting, but they weren't detailed. This nightmare though was a vivid memory.

By the time I woke screaming with Cooper shaking me, I wasn't eighteen and in Kentucky. I was back in that dirty trailer and Cooper wasn't my love. He was a threat.

Throwing myself away from him and off the bed, I crawled to the bedroom door but didn't know where to go next. Cooper climbed out of bed, looking large and intimidating. I put my hands up to stop him, but my words made no sense.

"Who's Travis?" he asked, frowning.

"Why?" I cried. "Do you know him? Is he your friend? Are you going to give me to him?"

I threw a shoe at Cooper, who easily batted it away.

"Stop!" he yelled so loudly that I fell backward in terror. "Calm the fuck down!"

Staring up at him, I knew he would hurt me and give me to Travis. It was why he fucked me so much the night before. He was saying goodbye and finishing with me before handing me off to his buddy.

Cooper stared at me full of anger and then he took a few deep breaths and stepped back. Swinging his arms, he settled himself down while I crawled to the corner behind a chair. Naked and cold, I knew something bad was coming as if trouble had followed me out of the dream. Eventually, Cooper dressed in a pair of boxers and sat on the ground nearby.

"You said his name when you were dreaming," he explained quietly. "He's the guy who hurt you, right?"

"Do you know him?"

"Farah, why would I know him?"

"He …  I just don't want to go back."

"You're not going anywhere, baby. You're staying here with me."

"He could come. He could take me."

Gaze darkening, Cooper whispered in a hard voice. "If he tried, he'd be dead before he put a hand on you."

Nodding, I tried to tell myself how Travis didn't care about me. He hadn't come for me all these years and he never would. Wanting to be rational, I still felt his rough hands on me. I hurt between my legs like I did when he was done. He had marked me again in the dream, and I would never be free.

After a short time, Cooper stood up and walked to the next room. Hating to be alone, I still flinched when he returned. He seemed bigger now. His shoulders wider, his face harsher, his whole demeanor reeked of potential violence.

Instead of hitting me, Cooper lowered a blanket behind the chair so that I could cover myself. I stared at him as he sat back down. We studied each other for a long time as I waited for something bad to happen or the fear to fade. Neither occurred, leaving me stuck behind the chair for hours.



       
         
       
        

Cooper tried twice to caress my face and both times I jerked away from his touch. After the second attempt, he stood up and left the room. I heard the front door open and assumed he was leaving. Then his big ugly dog Rafe waltzed into the room with Cooper following behind.

In his hand, Cooper held a gun, and I pushed farther back into the corner. "No one," he said, kneeling down by the chair, "will come here and take you. If they do, Rafe will wake us up, and I'll kill the fucker. No one is hurting you or taking you away from me. Do you understand?"

Staring into his dark eyes, I did understand. I craned my neck so I could see Rafe comfortable in the corner. When I looked back at Cooper, he sighed.

"Baby, it's nearly six in the morning. The sun is coming up, and you need to sleep. I need rest too, so let's go to bed and I'll keep you safe. I won't even touch you, but I need you to go to bed."

"You love me," I said in a rough, exhausted voice.

"More than anything else. I will never let that piece of shit or anyone else come here and hurt you. You are mine, and that makes you untouchable. Do you understand?"

Nodding again, I crawled out from behind the chair, and Cooper helped me stand. He stepped back, willing to keep his distance to avoid scaring me. Reaching for him, I knew he would keep me safe. If I couldn't shake the fear of the dream, I could at least know Cooper was someone Travis wouldn't screw with. Rationally, I knew Travis likely forgot I existed, but I wasn't rational. I was primal, and the monster was always waiting to ruin me again. With Cooper, though, I was safe.

We walked to the bed where Cooper's body warmed me until I could sleep. I dozed off, praying not to dream. When I woke up hours later, it was like I was in heaven. I had a smile on my face while opening my eyes, refreshed after a horrible night. The sun was out but hidden by Cooper's dark shades. I could see a hint of light around the edges of the window as I glanced at the clock.

"Eleven o'clock!" I cried as if yelling might turn back time.

Before I could freak out more, and I was already freaking out pretty badly, Cooper appeared at the door and then rushed to the bed.

"Don't freak."

"I overslept. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You're kidding, right?" When I started crying, Cooper realized I wasn't kidding. "Baby," he said, wrapping his arms around me, "I woke up just before the alarm went off and there was no way I was waking you up after two hours of sleep. Not after the night you had."

"I'm missing school."

"It's okay. I called a woman in administration, and she's having someone in each of your classes take notes. You won't miss anything." 

"I'm going to get in trouble," I mumbled against his chest.

"It's college, not high school. No one takes attendance at New Hampton."

Staring up at him, I tried to stop crying, but I felt like I would be punished for missing a day of school.

"Since you're already upset, I'm dumping this on you too. I called in sick at your job."

Breathing too quickly, I shrugged him off. "You don't care."

Cooper wanted to be angry. His jaw set and his lips pressed together in a grim frown. Then he cracked his neck. "Explain how I don't care about my baby needing time off?"

"I need money to pay for things."

"I'll pay for your lost wages."

"I don't want your money."

"My money. Denny's money. What difference does it make?"

I was angry. Outraged really, but I'd quickly become accustomed to seeking comfort from Cooper. So I snuggled against him and then glared into his irritated eyes.

"You can't just do whatever you want."

"Yes, I should have woken you up to ask if you wanted to sleep. That makes sense."

"Don't make fun of me."

"Don't be a dipshit."

Pulling away, I found myself in his grip. His arms refused to relent, and I gave up.

"Let's try this again," he said after a minute. "You had a tough night. So did I. In fact, it was the worst night of my life to be honest. You needed rest. I needed it too, so I made a decision. I did what you couldn't, and I'm not sorry. You need to relax, or you'll burn out."

Saying nothing, I listened to his heartbeat. When I didn't complain, he began stroking my hair.

"I want to have my dream," I whispered, relaxed now. "I need to prove to my family that I'm not a loser."

"You're not a loser. Everyone in your family either knows that or can't admit it because then they might be a loser. You need to stop worrying about what other people think."

"Except you, right?"

"Hell yeah," he whispered, grinning down at me.

Smiling, I kissed his chest. "I don't know what happened last night."

Cooper said nothing and I forced myself to look up at him. He watched me with the same pained expression as the night before.

"You had a bad dream," he finally said.

Wanting to apologize, I sensed he would be bothered by it. Instead, I sighed. "You took care of me."

Just as I hoped, Cooper gave me a little grin. He was like a kid sometimes, needing reassurance. The guy who asked his mom for relationship advice wasn't always the scary beast he showed to the world.

"So we'll study later?"

"Sure, but I thought we could clean up and go to lunch at the Italian place where we had our first real date. Or we can go somewhere else. I want you to have a good lunch since you skipped breakfast."

"That would be nice," I said, smiling up at him.

"Then maybe we could go to the movies."

While I wanted to hide how excited I was by this idea, Cooper was no fool.

"Tell me you've been to the movies before."

"Once when I was little, my grandma took Tawny and me."

"Who doesn't go to the fucking movies? I see poor people at them all the time. Trailer trash with their loud kids at the ten o'clock showing."