Beautifully Awake(77)

There was no error; he knew exactly what he was doing.

“Yes.” The hair on my arms and legs prickled, while my blood boiled. Swallowing was no longer a possibility; the golf ball size lump in my throat was responsible. And if I clenched my fists any tighter, I was going to draw blood.

“And what were those charges?”

I saw nothing but red, but my voice was steady. “Rape.”

The silence in the courtroom was deafening. I sensed the anger radiating from Chase. I didn’t look at him though. I couldn’t. I held my head high and my gaze straight ahead.

“Ms. Porter, am I correct that there was approximately a two-week lag between the alleged event and when you filed charges?”

“Yes.”

“And did you have a doctor’s appointment the day you brought the charges of this alleged rape?”

This fucker was going to make me say it. My eyes pleaded with the prosecutor to make him stop.

“Objection, this line of questioning is completely irrelevant.”

“I’m almost done, Your Honor. It helps establish a timeline, and Ms. Porter’s frame of mind at the time she filed a formal complaint accusing my client of child abuse. Being that she was the only person to ever question my client’s character, I believe it is completely relevant.”



“Overruled. Make your point quickly, Attorney Reed.” They both looked at me, waiting for a response.

Afraid of passing out, I concentrated on slowing my shallow pants before I answered. Over my dead body would he get the satisfaction of seeing me weak. “Yes.”

“What was your reason for that doctor’s visit, Ms. Porter?” Derek faced the jury, going in for the kill, officially becoming selfish fuck-face the second.

“Isn’t that personal?” I wanted to smack him across the face. My nails dug harder into my white-knuckled fists.

“Not if it’s relevant to your credibility, Ms. Porter, I’m sorry. Please answer the question.” The judge looked almost apologetic when he addressed me.

“I … I was pregnant.” You could have heard a pin drop. I took a punch to the gut. Direct hit. Any control I had on breathing was deserted. Ragged and labored, my mouth was as dry as cotton. I had no choice. I turned to where Chase was sitting. I needed to see him.

Bent over with his elbows on his knees and his fists clenched over his mouth, all I saw were his eyes. The fury was frightening. Intensity on fire. His eyes rhythmically jerked between selfish fuck-face number two and me. His arms and legs looked so tight, like he might explode out of the small chair at any moment. How had I let this happen? I could usually read his crystal gaze like a novel, but in that moment, I was left searching. Was he angry with me, livid that I never told him? His earlier question haunted me. Something I need to worry about, Blue? Shit, I should have just told him, why, why didn’t I?

“So let me get this right, the day you discovered you were pregnant, you decided to bring forth charges and accuse your ex of rape. Did you make any other monumental decisions that day?”

I was not going to be his victim. Derek knew everything. The truth. And his intentions were crystal clear. These questions were far from over. I inhaled deeply and directly faced his cold stare, but the coward’s eyes quickly darted away. “Yes. I called Boston University and deferred my acceptance to the master’s program.”

“Deferred? But you never did actually attend the program. Is that correct?”



“Yes. You’re correct. I was able to defer, but I wound up losing my scholarship. So no, I never attended.”

“Fine. Let’s continue.” Blood started to drip from my right palm, so I wiped the evidence of my fury on my new designer dark linen dress. A freeze-frame of our perfect NYC weekend flashed in my mind, adding fuel to my fire. The ugliness of my past still had the power to stain. “Ms. Porter, did you drop said rape charges two weeks later?”

“Yes.”

“Ms. Porter, I hate to ask a personal question again, but were you treated at Wrangel Community Medical center the day prior to dropping all charges?” His smugness was infuriating.

Please, Please. This needed to end. From across the room, I felt Chase’s heat, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again. What was he thinking? Why hadn’t I just told him everything? I physically felt the rage that clouded his beautiful eyes moments ago running through my body. My knees shook involuntarily. It took every ounce of strength to keep the tears pooling beneath my contacts from falling. I would not give that son of a bitch lawyer the satisfaction.

“Yes.” The dam broke. Years of denial were over. “And I’m sure you want to know why. So let me save us all some time.” Screw hiding my anger.