Beautifully Awake(146)
Blue looked at me. She said it herself; she was so not blind. She got it. “Temperature? You used the KimCore on me, didn’t you?”
“I had to, baby. I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t just sit around waiting and seeing.” Please understand. Please forgive me.
“You saved me, Chase. You’re the reason I woke up. Don’t you dare second-guess yourself. You made the right choice. You always do, you always have.” Her eyes locked on mine with an intensity I’d never seen before, like somehow she knew what I needed to hear, like somehow she knew what I’d done. Her eyes told me she knew. I didn’t know how or to what extent. But she knew. I wished she would repeat those words one day when I was brave enough to say it out loud. When I was ready to forgive myself for the only choice I had.
Fuck waiting and seeing.
We were getting married. We were having a baby. We were a family.
In the words I learned from my beautiful selfless girl—fuck guilt, fuck sleep-running. No more pauses, no more rewinds. This was playing out live. Forever started now. I tucked her into my side and kissed her sweet nose.
“My girl’s gonna be a mama. I love you, Blue.”
We fell in love with Chase and Lili over a two-week beach vacation and way more than two bottles of wine. But bringing their story to life took us a year, a seriously long year, of late night writing, editing, laughing, rewriting, and A LOT more editing to get it done. But we did it, we finally finished our first book! We would have never been able to do it without each other, nor would we have wanted to. When anyone asks who wrote “those” scenes, we have the perfect answer: “She did.” By the end, we were literally typing together—thanks to a shared Google document—and finishing each other sentences! Every minute was a blast (ok, not every minute, but most) and through it all we aren’t sick of each other yet. Our friendship has grown to unattainable heights! Love you, Asspuck. Right back at ya! Ready for round two?
But it was the unbelievable support of some amazing people along our way that made it possible to push the publish button … eek!
To our smokin’ hot, sexy, heart-stopping husbands and five perfect children who kept our secret, encouraged us to write outside the box and indulged us when we completely tuned out and grunted answers because we were half listening and half writing. Your two cents is most important and always will be. We love you ... you are our HEAs. That’s truth!
Lori Sabin, our talented editor: You took us on a whim, you endured our iPhone edits, and you undoubtedly, hands down, have the politest way of saying rewrite it again, still too long. You made us more concise, you made our surgeon a little more sanitary, you made our straight quotes (the ones that ruined your vacation) curly, and most importantly, you made us work insanely hard to see you write “love”... you don’t throw the L word around lightly. And when we were toning down you gave us the courage to bring back the “steam.” You are truly inspiring and unbelievably patient. Thank you just does not suffice … and to think all we had to offer you was CRUMBS.