a reason to live(33)
Turning around, I headed back the way I came and began to look at my surroundings. Pine trees flanked both sides of the road, growing off the side of sheer cliffs. I could hear a river flowing up ahead, so I stopped when I reached it and watched the water rush past. White foam floated on the top, clinging in places to fallen logs and rocks. Further up the river, I could see large logs in a shallow cove soaking.
A truck came around the bend as I stood at the river’s edge and slowed. I turned to look and the person stopped, their passenger window rolling down. It was Max.
“Hop in, I’ll take you back to Maxine’s,” he said then leaned over and opened the door. I climbed in, grateful for the ride.
He pulled out his phone as I buckled up and swiped ‘call.’
“Found her. Bringing her home now,” he stated and hung up without waiting for a reply.
“You were looking for me?”
“You stormed out on foot, tearing off into the night. You didn’t think people would worry?”
I looked at the sky. The sun was still shining brightly. “Tore off into the night?”
“Figure of speech,” he grinned. “So what did you decide?”
“About what?”
“About Shane.”
“Jury is still out.”
Max nodded slowly, saying nothing in reply. The cab grew silent and I became uncomfortable.
Was he waiting for me to continue?
“He has a lot to work through,” I provided, unsure of what else to say.
“That he does. But he’ll get there.”
“PTSD can be difficult to treat.”
“I imagine it plays a part in what’s going on with Shane, but it’s not his biggest problem.”
I turned sideways in the seat and looked at Max. “Why do you say that?”
“Shane likes control even more than I do. He’s not struggling because of PTSD, he’s struggling because he’s stubborn and feels guilty. A man like Shane doesn’t like to fail at anything, especially not his responsibilities to his men or women in your sister’s case. Failing to keep her safe by not fulfilling his duty to her can be as debilitating as PTSD.”
“I can see that,” I mumbled. “Tell me what he was like as a child?”
Max looked at me and grinned.
“He’s two years younger than me and tried to boss me around, succeeding half the time, from the age of five.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I can definitely see that.”
“He’s a good man. One of the best I know,” he replied seriously then glanced at me with a questioning look. “He’d be worth the trouble if you’re interested.”
“I’ll get back to you on that, too,” I replied smiling.
“He’ll fight you on it, though.”
“More than he already is?”
“Probably. He thinks he’s saving you both from heartache.”
“Maybe he is, but it’s more important that he forgives himself at this point. He won’t move forward with me or anyone else, for that matter, until he does.”
Max nodded as he turned the corner onto the street that would take us to Maxine’s. As we drove closer to her yard, I could see Shane leaning against his truck and Mia standing next to him.
“Did your mother call out the cavalry because I went for a jog?”
“Yep. She’s taken a shine to you so get used it. She’ll be in your business from here on out.”
“I’m beginning to see that.”
When Max put his truck into park, I climbed out slowly, hesitant about what to say to Shane. He kept his attention trained on me as I walked around the front of the truck, his jaw ticking the whole time.
“Can we talk?” I asked him.
He pushed off his truck. Then his face grew taut and his mouth pulled into a sharp line as he clenched and unclenched his fists. His overall demeanor screamed he would do all the talking, so I braced as he started straight in. “A woman’s got a stalker on her tail, she doesn’t go off without someone with her. Next time you want to blow off steam, have Maxine follow you in her Jeep.”
Max grunted at Shane’s outburst, mumbling, "Splashdown.”
Shane’s attention swung to Max and he bit out, “What?”
“You’re fuckin’ blind if you don’t see it,” Max answered.
“And you were clearheaded?”
“From day fuckin’ one. You’ve stepped off the ledge, hit the water, and you’re still denyin’ it. Stop fightin’ fate.”
I looked back and forth between them trying to follow the conversation. Was it just me or did everyone in this town talk in code?
“Look, Shane,” I jumped in, “you’re right, I shouldn’t have run off like that. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. But you were so angry when you left that I needed to think. I honestly didn’t know I would worry anyone.”