a reason to live(29)
Shane reached for the steering wheel and wrapped his hands around it tightly. His knuckles turned white as he tried to rein in his need to tear someone limb from limb.
“And now she dedicates her life to saving battered and broken children only to run scared because of it,” Shane bit out, his temper flaring higher with no outlet.
“Seems like. I’d say if any woman needed a man to look out for her, Sage fits the bill.”
Because Emma Jane said you’re the bravest man she’s ever met.
Replaying Sage’s words, it hit him suddenly. For the first time in a year, the knot in his chest was gone. Now it was replaced by an even stronger emotion. A need to protect at all costs.
The revelation hit him so hard that he ripped open his door without a word to Chester and stormed across the street, looking for Gregor. The words mine to protect sped up his heart and anchored permanently in his brain. He might not be able to offer her a relationship, but she was his responsibility to keep safe.
He shouted, “Gregor!” as he entered, looking left and right for the man.
“Shane?”
He turned at his name and barked out, “She isn’t ready for this trip. Find someone else.”
“Then work with her,” Gregor suggested.
“You’re leavin’ in three days; I need a few weeks. She was exhausted after an hour, Gregor, how is she gonna handle three days on the river?”
“I’ll put her on my boat and keep an eye out then.”
“What if she falls in the river and is too exhausted to keep her wits?” Shane argued.
“She’ll be fine, no need to worry.”
Not risking it, Shane thought.
“Not good enough. If you’re dead set on taking her, then put me in the rotation. If she’s going, I’m going.”
Gregor looked stunned by his request and narrowed his eyes. “What’s this about? Why are you so concerned?”
“It’s complicated,” Shane bit out.
“It always is,” Gregor mumbled in agreement.
“Just put me in the rotation and you can keep my pay.”
“Like you’ve ever taken my pay before today,” Gregor scoffed, leveling Shane with a knowing look. “She means somethin’ to you, doesn’t she?”
“Just put me down for the same trips as Sage,” he answered, avoiding Gregor’s question. It didn’t matter if she meant something to him or not. He’d failed her sister, but he wouldn’t fail her.
Gregor walked to his scheduling book and opened it. “Joel will not be happy about this,” he replied absentmindedly as he marked out his name and jotted down Shane’s.
“He’ll survive.”
Shane stuck out his hand for Gregor to shake.
“Och aye, he’ll survive all right, but when he gets a good look at the lass and realizes he missed out on rafting with her, he may feel like he’s been cheated,” he answered, shaking Shane’s hand.
Shane gritted his teeth and turned, mumbling under his breath, “Swear to God, everyone’s trying my last nerve today,” as he headed for the door.
Gregor watched with satisfaction as Shane made his way across the street and climbed into his truck, a sly grin pulling at his mouth as he picked up his cell phone and dialed Maxine.
“I know I’m supposed to call Martha in case Sage overhears, but I wanted ya to know that Shane just left. I’ve no bloody idea how it went this morning, but he just stormed in here and insisted he go on the rafting trip.”
“That worked better than I thought it would. If being stuck on a raft with her for three days doesn’t wear him down, I’ll hang up my meddling shoes. He’s proving to be difficult, Gregor. He’s got a will of steel that’s unlike any I’ve seen. Hell, Max is strong-willed and he folded after one kiss.”
“He’s carryin’ a burden, Maxie. He isn’t thinkin’ straight.”
“Do you think he’ll forgo what he wants as a penance for the past?”
“Could be. Lots of folks withhold what they actually want in the name of what they think is honorable,” he answered.
Maxine’s breath hitched then she whispered, “Gregor,” understanding his meaning.
“Don’t go worryin’ your pretty little head about it, lass. I’ve been alone a long time now, I’ll survive.”
“It’s just that Max—”
“Once a mother, always a mother. I get it,” he cut in. “Gotta run now, Maxie. You take care,” Gregor stated and then swiped ‘end call’ before he said too much. Curling the phone in his hand, he closed his eyes and remembered the one and only kiss he’d shared with Maxine. The memory was bittersweet, but it would have to carry him for the rest of his days.