a reason to live(34)
Mia said, “What?” while I waited for Shane to respond, so I turned and looked back.
Max was glaring at her.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Max. What?”
He pointed at me and answered sarcastically, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Mia rolled her eyes and grinned, then wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging the brooding giant.
I turned back and found Shane grinning as well.
“I’m clearly missing something,” I mumbled.
“Hang around long enough and you’ll figure it out.”
I wanted to hang around longer and figure them all out. I wanted to figure Shane out, to help him heal if he’d let me, but first, I had to get him to trust me.
“Look, about earlier,” I started. “I didn’t know you were coming over. If I had, I would have covered up.”
“Forget about earlier. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“It’s not gonna happen between us, Sage, you need to accept it.” Shane took a step back to emphasize his point. He was only a few feet away, but it might as well have been a mile.
“Shane—”
“Inside before I leave,” he ordered then he turned his back to me, refusing to hear me out, and headed for his truck.
My frustration with his stubbornness was building to a crescendo. If I weren’t careful, I’d lose control and unleash all my pent-up anger at his unwillingness to listen.
Falling for someone is harder than the movies make it look. Clearly Hollywood needs to stop producing happily ever after’s and focus on reality. My experience, thus far, has proven love is anything but easy.
Sometimes it’s ugly.
Sometimes it’s cruel.
And in my mother’s case, bloody.
“You're stubborn and kind of bossy, you know that, right?” I shouted at his retreating backside. I had to let off a small amount of steam, like a pressure valve, or I’d blow my top like a pressure cooker.
“Yep,” he actually admitted, which frustrated me more, then ordered again, “Inside, now.”
Deep breath, in and out, Sage.
“Fine,” I grit out after counting to ten. It was just as well he left. Neither of us was in the right state of mind to hash out our differences. In fact, I was beginning to think those who stayed single their whole lives knew exactly what they were doing.
“Hey, Sage,” Mia shouted as I turned toward the cabin. “Let’s go to the carnival tomorrow. Max won’t ride the rides with me. He says they aren’t big enough for thunder gods.”
In a moment of weakness, I looked back at Shane and sarcastically asked, “Is that allowed or do I need an escort?”
“Now the claws come out,” Shane sighed.
“Even kittens have claws when they need them,” Mia responded.
“Kitten? I’m no kitten,” I defended.
“No, you’re not. You’re more like a minx,” Shane stated, opening his truck door. “Soft and sweet looking until you bite.”
“I have claws,” I muttered. “Big scary ones,” I complained.
“Inside, Sage,” Shane ordered yet again.
I rolled my eyes, almost stuck out my tongue, and started to turn toward the door. Then I realized he was bossing me around again, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“You know, I don’t need you ordering me around.”
Shane didn’t reply. He crossed his arms and stared daggers until I threw my hands in the air and headed for the door.
“He better get his shit together soon,” I mumbled under my breath. “If a man’s gonna order me around, I should at least be getting something in return for my trouble. Like an orgasm . . . or twenty.”
***
“So tell me what’s actually going on with Shane?” Mia asked, looking over her shoulder at where Shane, Max, and Chester were standing. Apparently, I did need an escort to go to the carnival.
Licking cotton candy off my fingertips, I looked back at Shane and scowled.
“Hot and cold,” I replied. “He can’t get past the fact I’m Emma’s sister.”
“And the hot part?” she asked, wiggling her brows.
“He’s kissed me.”
“And?”
“There were fireworks and my knees gave out.”
“Good kiss.”
“Great kiss,” I agreed. “But this guilt he’s hanging on to is stopping him.”
“And if he weren’t?”
“If he weren’t, what?”
“If he weren’t, would you be open to seeing where things went?”
I pointed to a bench that was vacant, and we moved to it and sat down. Then I turned to her and took a deep breath. I wasn’t ashamed of my past abuse; it just took a lot out of me when I brought it up. However, it was about time I shared it with someone here.