Without You(51)

Janet turned around to look at my parents. I noticed my mom wiping a tear away.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," I said as panic began to set in.

Janet walked up to my parents and said something to them. She then  turned, moved next to Will, and whispered something to him. He nodded  his head before turning and smiling at me.

"Lex, I'm going to go sit in the waiting room with your mom and dad." He  leaned down and gently kissed me on my lips. "I love you," he  whispered.

"I love you, too."

He smiled at me and walked toward my mom and dad.

My mother moved next to the bed. She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead, followed by my father.         

     


///
 

"We love you, sweetheart. We'll just be right outside," my father said with a smile.

I tried to smile, but every time I moved, my face hurt.

The moment they walked out the door and shut it, I looked at Janet and began crying.

She sat down and took my hand. "Alex, it's okay. It's just us now, sweetheart. Whenever you're ready … you tell us."

I swallowed as I looked at Officer Franks. She smiled sweetly and nodded her head.

I took a deep breath. "Blake told Chrissie that I belonged to him, and  then he told her to leave. I begged her to get Grace. Then, he put me on  the bed, and he took his pants-" A sob escaped my mouth.

"Take your time, Alex. Just take in a deep breath," Janet said in a soft voice.

Somehow, I pulled out my inner strength to tell Janet and Officer Franks  what had happened to me in that bedroom last night. When Officer Franks  told me that Blake had punched me right as Grace walked in, my sore  face made sense.

"I don't remember anything after that."

I looked down and saw Emma-the doll Grams had made for me-lying next to me. I smiled as I picked her up and held her tightly.

"Alex, you might want to talk to someone once you're out of the hospital," Officer Franks said.

"What do you mean … talk to someone?" I asked.

"About what happened. Janet can help you with that." Officer Franks  looked at Janet. "Janet, I've got enough for now." She looked back at  me. "Alex, if we need any additional information, we will be in touch  with you, okay? For now, I think we've gotten a good statement from  you."

I nodded my head and looked out the window. "What will happen to him?"

Officer Franks cleared her throat. "With your statement, Chrissie  Weaver's confession, and what Grace Johnson and Mr. Weaver witnessed,  Blake will be charged with aggravated sexual assault."

I snapped my head back to her. "But he didn't … he didn't … "

She nodded her head. "I know he didn't. But Texas laws can move it up it  from attempted to aggravated because he used Rohypnol, and it was  thought out ahead of time."

Deep down inside, I was glad. I wanted to see Blake rot in jail. "Oh … okay," I whispered as I looked back out the window.

Janet and Officer Franks talked for a couple of minutes. After Officer Franks left, Janet sat down in a nearby chair.

"Alex, you were sexually assaulted. He touched you without your consent.  You should talk to someone about it. You can't deal with this on your  own."

I didn't look at her as I said, "Can I talk to you?"

She reached for my hand. "If that's what you want."

I slowly nodded as I felt a tear moving down my face. "Yes," I whispered as I closed my eyes.

I felt sleep beginning to take over. I hadn't realized how tired I was.

Will … I'm so sorry. I didn't fight hard enough.





I glanced over to Lex as she stared out the passenger window. The whole  way from Austin to Mason, she didn't utter a single word.

I thought back to my conversation with Janet.



"What do I need to do for Lex?"

Janet smiled. "Just be there for her, Will. She's most likely going to  withdraw a bit. Even though Blake didn't rape her, he still violated her  in more than one way. Be patient with her, love her, and don't push  her, but don't let her push you away either."

I nodded my head. "I love her so much. I just want to take away her pain."

Janet grinned. "I know you do. I've talked to Mr. and Mrs. Mathews. Alex  has seemed to develop a trust with me. Will, I've been in Alex's shoes,  except I was raped. I think she feels that I know what she is going  through. I'll do whatever I can to help her and her family."

My heart instantly hurt for Janet. "I'm so sorry, Janet."

She smiled back and shook her head. "I will help Alex through this, Will. I promise you."



I pulled up and parked behind Gunner's truck. Grace and Luke were  heading to Austin today to pick up all of Grace's and Lex's things.  Then, Luke was going to drive Lex's car back to Mason.

I reached over and touched Lex's arm, and she jumped. I quickly pulled my hand away as I felt the pain piercing my heart.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, Lex."

She turned and gave me a weak smile. "It's okay."

I returned her smile. "Let me get your door."

I jumped out of the truck and jogged to her side. I opened the door and  held my hand out for her. She was gripping her doll, Emma, tightly. She  got out of the truck and began walking toward the back of the house.         

     


///
 

"Um … Lex? Where are you going?"

Gunner and Ellie both walked out onto the front porch.

"Alex? Honey, where are you headed off to?" Ellie asked.

Lex didn't bother to look over at her parents. "I'm going to see Banjo. I just need some time alone, if y'all don't mind."

I just stood there. I felt hopelessly lost as to what to do for Lex. Janet's words kept playing over and over in my mind.

Don't push her.

I watched as Lex made her way down to the barn. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Gunner.

"I don't know what to do. I feel like … like she doesn't want me around.  She didn't talk to me at all the whole way here, and when I touched her  arm, she … she pulled away from me." I could feel the tears in my eyes  building, and the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Gunner.

He gripped my shoulder tightly as he nodded his head. "Come on, I've got  some work to do on a fence. You can help me." Gunner turned to Ellie.  "Give her some time and then check on her."

Ellie wiped a tear away and nodded her head.

Gunner slapped my back and headed toward his truck. I looked back toward  the barn one more time, but Lex was gone. I walked to the truck and got  in. Neither one of us said a word as we drove to the east pasture of  the ranch. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt someone.

Blake.

I wanted to hurt Blake. I let out a long sigh.

Gunner cleared his throat. "When we were younger, Ellie was in a car  accident, and it was during a time when we weren't together."

I snapped my head over to Gunner. "Did y'all break up or something?"

He smiled and nodded his head. "It was a misunderstanding, but yes, we  were broken up for a bit. Anyway, she was trying to get to me when she  had the accident. I remember sitting by her bedside for hours and hours,  just praying she would be okay. I'd never felt so helpless in my life."

That was how I was feeling right now. I looked out the front window.

"I know you feel the same way, Will. I know you want to take the pain  away. Hell, the whole thing away. I'm feeling the same way. The  restraint it is taking for me not to beat the fuck out of that little  asshole is something I'm working on every day."

I smiled as I turned to look at Gunner.

He glanced at me and winked. "You're lucky. At least you and Colt got to get a hit in on the little prick."

I nodded my head and chuckled sarcastically. "It wasn't enough, sir. I  wanted to kill him. I still want to, but … but I'm more worried about Lex.  I can almost feel her pulling away from me, if that makes sense."

Gunner parked his truck behind Jeff's truck. "It makes sense."

We both jumped out of the truck, and that was when I noticed my father, Jeff, Colt, and Luke standing against Colt's truck.

I walked up to Jeff and shook his hand and then my father's. Colt and  Luke both walked up and gave me what the girls would call our bro hug.

"Boys, we wanted to talk to you about Alex-especially you, Will." My father gave me a weak smile.

"What about, sir?" I asked.

Jeff cleared his throat as he looked at Luke. "Before you were born,  Luke, your mother and I were expecting a baby. I know we've told you  this along with the meaning behind your sister's name before."

Luke nodded his head. "Yes, sir, I remember."

"What you don't know is, that day, I walked away from your mother to go  to another woman. It's not what you think. It's a long story, and  honestly, it's not one worth repeating. The point is, I left your  mother … alone. I didn't even know she was pregnant. She was upset, and  she got on a horse to go riding with Ellie and Heather. Ari's horse got  spooked and threw her."

Luke looked down and shook his head.