Weight of Silence(51)

Leaving Charlie to digest that, Jace threaded his way to the other side of the living room. Gavin followed, his eyebrows somewhere up in his hairline. A few people waved at Jace, and he nodded back. He went through the archway into the den where fewer people were hanging out, some of them playing a game on Molly’s Xbox.

“That was unexpected,” Gavin said quietly.

“Charlie or what I said?”

“Both.”

Jace leaned against the wall and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Like I said before, I don’t want to hide you. I’m not sure how to do this, though.”

“You don’t have to do anything. We’re here together. It’s a start.”

“I guess.”

“Were you and Charlie good friends?”

“Pretty good friends. Why?”

“Wondering, because he’s heading back this way.”

Jace looked at the archway in time to see Charlie walk through into the den. Their eyes met. Charlie didn’t seem mad when he approached them. Jace tensed for a fight anyway.

“Dude, you can’t just drop a bomb like that and walk away,” Charlie said. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends,” Jace said testily. “I hope we are. Did you need something clarified?”

Charlie looked him over then gave Gavin an assessing stare. Gavin returned the stare intently, his face the picture of calm. Charlie then leaned in and in a harsh whisper, asked, “Are you saying you’re queer?”

His stomach flipped. “Yes.”

“Like, always?”

“Seriously?”

“No, I mean—” Charlie shook his head, seeming a little dazed. “How long have you known you were, I guess?”

“A few years. I only really came out this month.”

He glanced at Gavin. “And you’re sure?”

“Positive.” He had half a mind to grab Gavin and kiss him, just to prove a point. But Charlie seemed done asking questions; now he was thinking. He could almost see Charlie’s brain working, wondering about all of the times they’d showered together after a meet, hugged after a win, and hung out at each other’s houses. Jace leaned forward and whispered, “Don’t worry, Charlie, you’re not my type.”

Charlie’s eyebrows jumped. He looked at Gavin again then sputtered nervous laughter. “Yeah, I guess not. Man, you know you’ll break Molly’s heart, right? She’s been lusting after you since eighth grade.”

Jace smiled as some of the tension in his chest unfurled. “Yeah, I know. I’ll make it up to her somehow.”

“Cool. Okay.” Charlie seemed at a loss for continued conversation. He looked around, spotted someone he probably didn’t actually know, and then excused himself.

“Wow,” Jace said once he was gone.

“I wish all my friends took my coming out that well,” Gavin said.

“Charlie’s a good guy.” Jace had no illusions that all of his old friends and acquaintances would be so accepting. He had to take this one step at a time.

Those steps took him all around the downstairs for the next hour, as he made idle conversation with dozens of people from his graduating class. He hadn’t realized Molly invited so many people. New faces were constantly coming and going as the front door opened and shut every couple of minutes. Molly and Rachel were in their element, playing the social butterflies and welcoming guests with enthusiasm.

Jace loved watching his sister smile like that, so open and genuinely happy, and focused on her future. It made everything he’d done to help her worth it. And Gavin knew how to charm a room with goofy stories and wild hand gestures. Some of the kids at the party knew him, even though he was older than most by a few years—one of the results of living in a small town his entire life. He didn’t seem to mind the attention, and Jace let him absorb it, content to be the silent shadow.

While Gavin told a story of catching a black snake that somehow got inside the Dollar Mart this past summer, Jace’s mind wandered back to their conversation at lunch. He understood Gavin’s inability to think too far into the future; it wasn’t how Gavin’s mind operated. Jace, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about tomorrow, and next week, and next year. He was the only one in his family without a plan, and he hated that.

Gavin’s suggestion to hit the library was a good one, and he planned to take him up on the offer to accompany him. They could find a lot of information online, and doing their research in the library’s computer lab would help keep Gavin’s butterfly attention span focused on the task in front of them, instead of on more fun things. Like sex, which they would get distracted by way too easily alone in one of their rooms.