Weight of Silence(49)
Gavin wanted to turn Jace upside down and shake him until the real words came out and he could make sense of this. “Then why'd you ask?”
“Because I was curious. Not everyone likes their job. Sometimes you pick a career, like my dad, and it’s a job you really like. Sometimes you do something because you need the money and then you get stuck there.”
“I’m not stuck. I could leave if I wanted.” He could leave Dollar Mart. Hell, he could leave Stratton if he wanted. But he didn’t want to—not without a good reason.
“I really fucked this up.” Jace rubbed his forehead, then dropped his hands onto the table. “There’s nothing wrong with you, your job, or that you like working there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I was just thinking about stuff. I mean, my sisters have both had life plans in place forever. Lauren wants the whole career, husband, kids and picket fence thing. Rachel is totally focused on med school. Dad always wanted to be a police officer. Mom didn’t work until after us kids were in elementary school, and she’d always been interested in being a realtor.”
The previous questions about Dollar Mart made a lot more sense to Gavin. “You feel unfocused compared to them.”
“Yeah.” Jace’s smile expressed a profound relief at Gavin having understood his problem without being told.
“I can sympathize with being unfocused.”
“They make pills for your lack of focus.”
Gavin snickered. “I tried taking pills once, in high school, but I always felt like I was underwater. I’d rather deal on my own.”
“I get that.”
“So this is you unsure what you want to do with your life?”
“Basically.”
“And we’re not fighting about my crappy job?”
“Hell no. If your crappy job makes you happy, then I’m happy. Honest.”
“Excellent.”
“My parents aren’t happy with my decision to quit Temple, but they want me to be happy and they know I’m not happy there.”
“You can always go back to school once you figure out what you want.”
“I know. They do too.”
Gavin popped a slice of tomato into his mouth. “When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
“Well, when I was six I wanted to be Tony Hawk.”
“How’d that work out?”
“I broke my arm falling off my skateboard, so my mom took it away. My new dream was to invent non-itchy casts for kids, but that never went anywhere.”
“Now that’s a shame.” Gavin glanced at the deli clock—five minutes before he had to leave. “You said the other day you wanted to travel. Have you researched jobs that let you do that?”
“Not really. I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“How about we hit the library when it opens back up after the holidays?”
“Wouldn't it be easier to use one of our computers at home?”
Gavin waggled his eyebrows. “Not if you want to get actual work done.”
Jace laughed. “Okay, library then.”
They walked back to the Dollar Mart together, the future job search a comfortable thing between them. While Gavin didn’t want Jace to leave town, he did want him to find his dream. He wanted Jace to be happy. And he had a good feeling that Jace wanted the same thing for him.
If they were lucky, their paths to happiness would intersect far into the future.
Chapter Thirteen
Jace was a walking bundle of nerves by the time Gavin parked his Jeep down the street from Molly’s house a few minutes after eight that night. Not even two long hours with Gavin, alternately talking and making out, had put a dent in his anxiety. Usually the mere thought of Gavin’s mouth made him pop a woody, but nothing had gotten him hard tonight. Gavin hadn’t taken it personally. He was being so supportive it made Jace even more self-conscious.
The only time Jace had actually been somewhat calm—because he’d forgotten all about the party—was when Gavin arrived to pick him up. The doorbell had scared the crap out of him because he wasn’t expecting it. He also wasn’t expecting Gavin to be standing on the other side of the door when he opened it.
Usually Gavin waited in the Jeep for Jace to come to him. But Gavin rang the bell, picking him up like a real date, and he thrust a large flat object wrapped in brown paper at him. Gavin was blushing too, and he didn’t blush easily.
“What’s this?” Jace asked.
“It’s for you.”
Jace bit back an instinctive “duh” and stepped aside so Gavin could come in. He carefully unwrapped the weighty object, his hands identifying it as some kind of framed item before he’d removed all the paper. He gazed at it, heart pounding and mouth dry, at a complete loss for words.