Wanted(61)

Her mother surprised her by taking a chair instead. “Neither. I’m more interested in sitting for a spell. So tell me, Totchter, are you ready to come back home?”

Katie didn’t know the answer to that. “Why do you ask?” she hedged.

“There’s something a little different about you today. I see an anxious look in your eyes that wasn’t there before. Did you and Jonathan argue?”

“No, not exactly. Mamm…Jonathan Lundy wants to court me.”

Her mother blinked. “Are you sure?”

“I am. He…he more or less asked me to be his wife.”

“Well, that is wonderful-gut!” Just as she was leaning forward to hug Katie, her mother paused. “More or less? That doesna make much sense. And, I must say, neither does your disposition. I would’ve thought such news would make you happy, Katie.”

“I would’ve thought so, too.” Nothing was making sense. Not Jonathan’s transformation into a reluctant beau, not Winnie’s dissatisfaction with Malcolm and his family.

“What is wrong? I thought you had a special place in your heart for Jonathan.”

“I did.”

“Have you now decided he isn’t what you want, after all?”

“No, he is still who I want. I think so, that is.” Briefly Katie told her mother about their walk in the woods, and how they’d shared the hot chocolate. That story flowed into others. Before she knew it, Katie was relaying stories about making Jonathan dinner, and how she’d claimed the sitzschtupp and was teaching the girls to quilt.

She told her mother about how it had felt to work with Jonathan to prepare for the church services. How Jonathan seemed to be impressed with her industriousness. How she’d spied him staring at her more than once, and how sometimes, in the midst of things, they’d meet each other’s gaze and share a smile. Actually, there had been many times that were memorable.

When she was done, her mother crossed her hands over her chest and beamed. “These stories you shared tell me everything I need to know. I’m happy for you, Katie.”

But Katie couldn’t let her mother think everything was fine. There was a darkness looming over her. Katie was sure things couldn’t stay this way. Something was going to happen. Her past was going to be discovered and Jonathan wouldn’t want her anymore. “Jah, I’ve had some special times with Jonathan, that is true.”

“So why do you hesitate?”

“He didn’t tell me he loved me. I’m afraid he doesn’t really know me, Maam. I’m afraid he thinks I’m better than I am.”

Instead of looking shocked her mother merely nodded. “Ah. You are thinking about your actions during your rumspringa?”

She couldn’t lie. “I am.”

“I thought you’d worked those things out.”

“I had thought I had, too, but maybe not. I made mistakes, Maam.”

“I know.”

“And…I thought just being with Jonathan was enough. But now I realize that I want his love, too.”

“I’ve seen him gaze at you when he thought no one was looking. There’s feelings there, I think.”

Still ignoring the many bowls and measuring cups, her mother stood up and put the kettle on. As Katie watched her efficiently make two cups of tea, she marveled at her mother’s self-assured manner. Was she ever going to become so confident?

Returning to the table, her mother set the two cups down. “Marriage to Jonathan is something that you’ve always wanted. Love is, too. In my heart I think you may find both with him. Give it time, Katie. In time you and Jonathan will find your way.” With a tender smile, she said, “Katie, you know, I just realized that you never told me what you said.”

“I told him I needed some time to think.”

Chuckling, her mother reached out and gave her a hug. “I do believe you have finally learned some patience, Daughter. Praise be to God.”

Katie swallowed hard. That, actually, was true. Maybe she had grown up more than she’d realized.





Chapter 16




Contrary to what most thought, Jonathan found he did not mind working in the lumber factory among the English. Perhaps it was because his boss, Brent Harvey, was a decent sort of man who valued much the same things as Jonathan.

Every day at lunch, Jonathan would pull out his basket and eat his sandwiches that Katie packed for him, sitting beside a number of other men who ate sandwiches, too. Manly conversation would flow around them all, which he thoroughly enjoyed. After years of farming, spending most days by himself, he enjoyed the fellowship of other men, the rough and tumble conversations. The laughter.