Wanted(62)

“Got another trail bologna sandwich today, Jonathan?” Brent asked in what had become an almost daily ritual.

“I do. Three, in fact. Would you like one?”

Like boys in a schoolyard, Brent sat next to him as he pulled out a bag of chocolate chip cookies. “Only if you’ll have these in exchange.”

“Deal.” After a few bites, Jonathan said, “The work is going well today, I think.”

“I agree. Productivity is up this year. I hope you’ll consider staying with us when spring comes.”

“That will be a hard decision. Spring planting is a busy time. And then there’s the girls, they’ll need watching.”

“Winnie will be back then, right? Surely she’ll be able to watch Mary and Hannah.”

It pleased Jonathan that Brent cared enough about their friendship to remember his sister’s and daughters’ names. “I don’t know about that. Winnie, she’s in Indiana now. She might be planning a marriage.”

Brent’s eyes crinkled merrily. “Congratulations.”

Jonathan tried to smile, but failed. “I don’t know if a marriage is in the future. But her leaving has made me realize that she needs time and opportunity to follow her dreams.” With some surprise, he realized that he wasn’t just saying those things. He meant them. When had all of that happened? When had he started living again, and realizing other people had to move forward, too?

Keeping things the same was not the way to go through life. And though he’d attempted to cling to the notion that tradition and consistency was part of who he was—as integral to being Amish as forgoing much of the technology of the outside world—it was likely he’d forgotten that people’s needs did grow and change. And once more, it was acceptable.

“Jon, you don’t sound very excited about the man Winnie is seeing.” After pulling out a bag of chips, Brent popped two in his mouth. “Do you not like the guy?”

“I’ve never met him. Actually, Winnie hadn’t met him face-to-face until she arrived there in mid-November. She’d only been writing to him for several months. But I’ve been getting the feeling that maybe he is not everything she’d expected.”

Brent laughed. “Nothing ever is.” After sipping from his can of soda, he added more soberly, “But if Winnie’s man is far different than what she imagined him to be, that will be hard to swallow.”

“Jah.”

“Of course, different isn’t always bad, you know?”

“You’ve got a point, there.” Jonathan took another bite and chewed slowly, once again thinking about his life with Sarah. The way he’d struggled to raise the girls on his own, and how he’d come to terms with always being alone for the rest of his life.

It had taken Winnie’s insistence to reach her dreams to shake him up.

Because Winnie had wanted to grow, he had sought Katie’s assistance. And her role in his life had brought about a whole new barrage of feelings. Now he found himself rushing home to Katie. He found himself thinking how her eyes had sparkled when she’d tossed snow his way. He realized how often her laugh and her smiles were the focus of his thoughts when he drove his buggy home each evening. Her presence had awakened him to the world again.

Katie Brenneman had caused him to dream again.

Maybe Winnie needed that surge of expectancy just as much. “Maybe Winnie is just having a time figuring out what she wants. Different may be all right, after all.”

Brent chuckled. “Love. You know as well as I do that it isn’t as smooth as some would like it to be.”

The bologna suddenly felt dry in his mouth. “I would tend to agree about that.” After marriage to Sarah, having two children, and then, ultimately, losing her and finally grieving her loss, Jonathan had been sure he’d never think about marriage again. He hadn’t thought another woman would ever occupy his thoughts again, the way Sarah once had. Boy had he been wrong! All it took was one blue-eyed woman with a resolve of steel hidden behind a sweet disposition to turn him inside out. Taking a chance, Jonathan admitted, “I’m learning time and again that love and marriage isna’ ever an easy thing.”

“Time and again?” Brent peeked at him under the brim of his ball cap. “What’s going on? Have you found someone new?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Jonathan was thankful Brent didn’t say “already” or “again,” though part of him sorely felt that way. Things were happening to his heart that made him feel like a young boy again, unsure and scared of saying the wrong things.