Trade It All(27)

Her hand touched his shoulder. “I’m not, but is that why you’re upset? It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he snapped and cursed under his breath.

Willa was quiet for several moments, then he heard her move to leave the bed. “I should go.”

He turned and watched her hastily gather her clothing. She was crying. He stood, walked over to her and reached out a hand to her. She moved away from him, refusing to look at him. He hated that he’d hurt her. He felt like he’d failed her.

He wanted to tell her she’d misunderstood. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, too, and that it had been that way since he’d first met her. But that would have been a lie.

He liked her.

His body craved hers.

But love?

He didn’t know anything about love. He was still trying to figure himself and his career path out. He couldn’t add anyone else to that equation. Not yet.

The best he could do was be honest with her. “I’m sorry, Willa.”

She angrily adjusted her clothing and met his eyes. Her tone was angry and tears were pouring down her cheeks. “Don’t be. Now I can go to college unencumbered by my virginity. Really, you did me a favor.”

He hated the idea of her with anyone else as much as he hated seeing her upset. He pulled her into his arms. “I’m an ass.”

She struggled at first then stood there as he held her against him. He felt the tension rippling through her.

He rested his chin on her forehead. “I don’t like the idea of you with anyone else.”

She sniffed but refused to look up at him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It’s the truth. I’m freaking out on the inside, Willa. Maybe that makes me an awful person. I don’t know. I didn’t plan any of this. You deserve better.”

She let out a shaky breath. “Do I?”

Lance cursed his body for sending his blood rushing back to his dick. He didn’t want to want her right then. He wanted to find the words to make her feel better. Coherent thought was difficult, however, when his cock was jerking in his pants, begging to be freed. The feel of her against him, the scent of her, the lingering taste of her on his lips was almost too much for him to resist. He kissed her temple and murmured, “Can we start over? Spend the day together tomorrow?”

Her eyes rose to his. “Like a date?”

She looked hopeful, and he resented the way it made him feel. Guilt was a tool people used as leverage to control each other. He wasn’t looking for another situation where another person’s vulnerability essentially trapped him.

Then stay the fuck away from her.

It wasn’t that simple. A person doesn’t decide to breathe. It’s not something they think about either, until they’re somehow deprived of being able to. Then it’s all that matters. Lance wasn’t ready for what Willa represented, but the idea of losing her was even worse.

“Call it whatever you want. We’ll take the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. I’ll show you around.” Get the hell away from my family.

There was a kindness in her expression, an easy forgiveness, that had him almost retracting his invitation. “I’d like that.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you back.”

The door of Lance’s office opened and his temp secretary stuck her head in. “Mr. Barrington? I hate to disturb you, but I tried to buzz you . . .”

Lance shook off the past. “I didn’t hear it. What is it?”

“Miss Chambers is on her way up.”

Letting out a slow breath, Lance nodded. “Send her in as soon as she arrives.”

If nothing else came from their meeting that morning, Lance was determined to find out why Willa had sent Lexi in her place for their date.

Why not just say she didn’t want to see him?

Why the lies?

And if she cared so little about him that she could play him like that, why was she still upset with him?

He’d told himself the answers to those questions weren’t as important as keeping the peace in his family. She’d told him to leave her alone and he had.

He might have been able to continue to, but then she’d lied to him again. This time she’d pretended to be Lexi. And the way she’d danced for him. He’d fought for years to not think about how it had been with her, but watching her shake her ass defiantly at him had brought it all back again.

She wouldn’t leave his office until he at least knew what the hell had happened ten years ago.





Chapter Seven




Willa barely heard what Lance’s secretary was saying, but she followed her to his office door anyway. Willa’s heart was thudding loudly in her chest. She tried to tell herself she was only there to pick up the journal.