Trade It All(25)

I’m smart. At least smart enough to have gotten my degree. I’m hardworking. I’ve made my own money for as long as I can remember. On paper, I have my shit together.

I wish I saw that person when I look in the mirror. “I did. Nothing feels right.”

She waited for Kenzi to suggest she wear something from her designer wardrobe, but she didn’t. Instead she asked, “Have you tried mixing your styles?”

Willa thought about the skirt she’d tried on that she’d liked. She took one of her favorite blouses out of her closet and smiled for the first time that day. “You’re a genius, Kenzi.”

Kenzi chuckled. “No, I just know you. Both of you. I can’t wait to see what you choose. Will you send me a picture of it?”

Not hanging up, Willa shrugged on the blouse then sprinted to her sister’s room, found the skirt she’d liked, and pulled it on as well. She looked at the huge pile of clothing on Lexi’s bed, then at the time on the clock beside it, and grimaced. I’ll put it all away before she gets back, but right now I’m out of time. She dug through Lexi’s closet for a pair of shoes with a moderate heel. She snapped a photo of herself and sent it to Kenzi. “What do you think?”

“Perfect, but you have your hair done up like you’re a librarian.”

“That’s how I always wear it. It stays out of my way.” Or does it help me hide better? Is Lexi right about that?

“How about a looser knot?”

Willa walked back into her bathroom and placed the phone down so she could undo her hair. She pulled it back, but let it drop when she didn’t like how it looked. She swept it up again, this time leaving a few wisps free around her face and secured it. She took a quick selfie and sent it to Kenzi.

“You look awesome, Willa.”

“Really?” On impulse, Willa applied a darker lipstick color than she normally wore. She also applied a hint more eyeliner. She sent one final picture. “What about this?”

“Oh, my God. Your eyes look fantastic. You should do them like that all the time.”

Willa smiled down at the phone. She thought, Good friends accept you as you are; best friends do, too, but they will also kick your ass when you need it. No matter how lost you get, they are right there, showing you the way back. “Kenzi, all I’m doing is picking up a journal from your brother’s office.”

“Promise me something?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“I don’t know what happened between you and Lance when we were younger, but none of us are who we were back then. Give yourself a chance to get to know who he is now.”

Willa agreed to because not doing so would have opened a conversation she wasn’t ready to have. Kenzi was right about one thing, though, Willa wasn’t who she’d been at eighteen.

I’m a hell of a lot wiser.

I know now that sex doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. Sometimes it doesn’t mean anything at all.

Lust and love are two very different things.

And confusing them is a devastating mistake I won’t make again.

Lance paced his office while waiting for Willa to arrive. He’d directed his secretary to buzz him the moment she arrived. Unable to concentrate on anything else, he’d called down to the building’s security desk and told them to call him when Willa arrived.

He was on edge and had lain awake most of the night, planning exactly how he’d approach the subject of the past. His goal wasn’t to prove who had been right and who’d been wrong. If he played their meeting right he would finally have answers to questions that had plagued him for a decade.

Then, hopefully, they could move past it.

An image of her gasping with pleasure as he pounded into her filled his mind, overwhelmed his senses for a moment. He wanted her so badly he could practically taste her.

This isn’t just about fucking her.

Although that’s part of it.

His hands clenched at his sides. He liked to think he was a better man than he’d been at twenty. His brothers had warned him that being with Kenzi’s friends would end badly, but back then how Willa made him feel was more important than who she was. He’d had ten years to regret letting his dick override his decision to respect her relationship with his family.

I could have done everything better. I could have waited, gotten to know her. Who the hell knows where it might have gone? She shouldn’t have been a one-night stand.

Not Willa.

Over the years he’d witnessed her unwavering loyalty to his sister and his family. Her gentle heart made it impossible for anyone to not want the best for her. She had a gift of making everyone, even his often miserable family, feel better. Like him, she smoothed situations over rather than added drama. She was genuinely a good person. Someone who liked kids, animals, old people. Hell, he’d never seen her express a dislike of anyone.