The Sunset Limited(18)
White Be my guest.
Black What I think is that you got better reasons then them. I mean, their reasons is just that they dont like it here, but yours says what they is not to like and why not to like it. You got more intelligent reasons. More elegant reasons.
White Are you making fun of me?
Black No. I aint.
White But you think I’m full of shit.
Black I dont think that. Oh I dont doubt but what it’s possible to die from bein full of shit. But I dont think that’s what we lookin at here.
White What do you think we’re looking at?
Black I dont know. You got me on unfamiliar ground. You got these elegant world class reasons for takin the Limited and these other dudes all they got is maybe they just dont feel good. In fact, it might could be that you aint even all that unhappy.
White You think that my education is driving me to suicide.
Black Well, no. I’m just posin the question. Wait a minute. Fore you answer.
He takes his pad and his pencil and begins to write laboriously, his tongue in the corner of his mouth, grimacing. This for the professor’s benefit. He looks sideways at him and smiles. He tears off the page and folds it and puts it in his shirtpocket.
Black All right. Go ahead.
White I think that’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
The black takes the folded paper from his pocket and hands it across. The professor opens it and reads it aloud.
White I think that’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. Very clever. What’s the point?
Black The point dont change. The point is always the same point. It’s what I said before and what I keep lookin for ways to say it again. The light is all around you, cept you dont see nothin but shadow. And the shadow is you. You the one makin it.
White Well, I dont have your faith. Why dont we just leave it at that.
Black You dont never think about maybe just startin over?
White I did. At one time. I dont any more.
Black Sometimes faith might just be a case of not havin nothin else left.
White Well, I do have something else.
Black Maybe you could just keep that in reserve. Maybe just take a shot at startin over. I dont mean start again. Everbody’s done that. Over means over. It means you just walk away. I mean, if everthing you are and everthing you have and everthing you have done has brought you at last to the bottom of a whiskey bottle or bought you a one way ticket on the Sunset Limited then you cant give me the first reason on God’s earth for salvagin none of it. Cause they aint no reason. And I’m goin to tell you that if you can bring yourself to shut the door on all of that it will be cold and it will be lonely and they’ll be a mean wind blowin. And them is all good signs. You dont say nothin. You just turn up your collar and keep walkin.
White I cant.
Black Yeah.
White I cant.
Black You want some more coffee?
White No. Thank you.
Black Why do you think folks takes their own lives?
White I dont know. Different reasons.
Black Yeah. But is there somethin them different reasons has got in common?
White I cant speak for others. My own reasons center around a gradual loss of make-believe. That’s all. A gradual enlightenment as to the nature of reality. Of the world.
Black Them worldly reasons.
White If you like.
Black Them elegant reasons.
White That was your description.
Black You didnt disagree with it.
The professor shrugs.
Black It’s them reasons that your brother dont know nothin about hangin by his necktie from the steampipe down in the basement. He got his own dumb-ass reasons, but maybe if we could educate him to where some of them more elegant reasons was available to him and his buddies then they’d be a lot of folks out there could off theyselves with more joy in they hearts. What do you think?
White Now I know you’re being facetious.
Black This time I think you’re right. I think you have finally drove me to it.
White Mm hm.
Black Well, the professor’s done gone to layin the mm hm’s on me. I better watch my step.
White Yes you had. I might be warming up the trick bag.
Black But still you think that your reasons is about the world and his is mostly just about him.
White I think that’s probably true.
Black I see a different truth. Settin right across the table from me.
White Which is?
Black That you must love your brother or die.
White I dont know what that means. That’s another world from anything I know.
Black What’s the world you know.
White You dont want to hear.
Black Sure I do.
White I dont think so.
Black Go ahead.
White All right. It’s that the world is basically a forced labor camp from which the workers—perfectly innocent—are led forth by lottery, a few each day, to be executed. I dont think that this is just the way I see it. I think it’s the way it is. Are there alternate views? Of course. Will any of them stand close scrutiny? No.