The Struggle(59)

She was still holding the robe to her chest when I came back to her, and it was hard not to think of the fact that she was nude under that.

“I was coming after you,” she said, and I already knew that, but I kind of loved hearing her say that. “Even though the whole feeding off me was so . . . so wrong, I was going to come after you. That was my plan. I was going to stand next to you. I was going to fight for you. Prove that you . . . you are worthy of how I feel for you.” Her voice was raspy. “And after everything, I finally see you, and that—that was all I wanted—was to see you, and I found you with another woman.”

My heart cracked all over again at her words and the tears building in her eyes. “It wasn’t how it looked.”

She coughed out a harsh laugh. “Really?”

“I know how that sounds,” I continued. “I truly do, but it is the truth. Her name is Karina and she is the high priestess here.”

“High priestess?” she repeated.

“That’s a part of the convoluted story I need to tell you—she’s a big part of it, and gods know, it’s a messed-up story, but I was not embracing her. There is absolutely nothing between us. Nothing. There never has been. There won’t be.”

“Don’t lie,” she whispered. “I saw you. You had your hands on her. You were touching her—”

I shot forward, moving faster than she could track. Carefully clasping her cheeks, I guided her gaze to mine. “It wasn’t like that, Josie. I swear to you. It could never be, because I love you, Josie. I love you.”





Chapter 19


Josie

My heart slowed and then sped up. I’d thought Seth had told me that only once before, when he believed I was asleep, and sometimes I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure I’d heard him say that then.

But he really said that now.

Seth said those three short words that meant everything.

Well, “I have cake” was also three short, powerful words, but hearing Seth say he loved me was like a thousand hopes and dreams come true at once.

Part of me wanted to spring out from under the covers and tackle-hug him. The other half was frozen in so much confusion and trepidation. I didn’t truly understand what was going on. Maybe it was because I was so damn exhausted, since even upon waking and eating, I was tired down to my bones. But it felt like only hours ago I was huddled on the cold dirt waiting . . . and wanting to die rather than face another second with Hyperion or the rest of the Titans. I still didn’t even understand how I’d gotten here or how we were going to help Mitchell if Seth refused to let me look for him or leave my side.

And I wanted to celebrate what Seth was saying. He was finally telling me how he felt, but I couldn’t erase the image of him and that beautiful brunette.

“Josie?” His gaze searched mine, and I realized I hadn’t spoken.

I took a shaky breath. “I’ve . . . I’ve waited forever for you to say that.”

A slow smile started to creep over his lips. “And I should’ve said it forever ago.”

I wanted to smile back at him, but all I could do was stare at him. There was so much we needed to talk about—that I needed to focus on. My thoughts were all over the place, and I was feeling so much—too much. And I was naked. Like, legit naked under the robe that was too big and kept slipping off my shoulder and gapping in the front. And I vaguely remembered Seth hauling my sobbing, naked butt out of the shower, and helping me get in the robe when I’d jumped out of the bed and fell on the floor naked.

Concern filled those amber eyes. “Josie, please say something. Anything.”

I needed to say something. “If you love me, then why . . . why did I see you outside with her?”

Seth was still for a moment and then lowered his hands to the space between us. “I think I need to start at the beginning.”

“Yeah.” I tucked the blanket under my arms. “I think that would make the most sense.”

Rising from the bed, Seth walked toward a cabinet. Despite everything that we needed to talk about and all that had happened to me, I couldn’t stop my gaze from roaming over all the exposed skin. He’d been shirtless earlier, but I hadn’t noticed him. I did now. The defined pecs. The tightly coiled abs. The sweats hanging low enough that they showed off those indentations on either side of his hips. Even his back was amazing. Long, lean and muscled.

Why couldn’t he be wearing a shirt?

But it was Seth, so of course not.

“My whole life, I’ve had this . . . this unexplainable draw to aether. It always called to me, even before I awakened as the Apollyon.” Bending down, he grabbed a bottle of water out of a mini-fridge hidden in the cabinet. Turning, he faced me. “It got worse when I became the Apollyon, but I never understood it. Other than the pures and halfs who got addicted to aether and turned into daimons, I didn’t know anyone else who could feel what I could feel. When Alex awakened, she didn’t feel that way. I always thought there was just something wired wrong in me, you know? But I . . . I understand now.”