The Return of Antonides: Christmas at the Castello(38)

Leo sat silently, watching her reveal her secrets.

'I was there one day, helping to choose wallpaper for the common room,  when one of the smallest children-a boy-walked right up to me and  grabbed my hand. The other children had avoided me on previous visits; I  was a stranger with a foreign accent and a fancy suit. I was  unapproachable.' She smiled to herself. 'But not him. He grabbed on to  my hand and asked me to come and see his drawings. He had drawn a  picture of a house by the sea. He gave it to me as a gift and asked me  if I would come back again. So I did.'

Leo remained silent for a moment, watching her. 'Why do you feel the need to hide all this? It's charitable work.'

'Don't you see? It's not work to me. I want to be there. It makes me  happy to be there with all the children. But most of all with Luca...'

'Luca is the boy's name?' Leo asked quietly.

Dara nodded. 'It's unfair of me to grow attached. Because he's just a  child and he will think that I want to...that we might want to...' The  words stuck in her throat, unable to come out.

'That you might want to become his mother?' Leo said.

Dara looked at him quickly, as though he had struck her. That one word was enough to make her mind turn to panic.

Mother.

'I won't go back again. I suppose I'm only just realizing that I've  used the orphanage to relieve my restlessness. To occupy myself.'

She stood up and walked to the Christmas tree, touching one of the golden baubles and making it spin.

'It was a selfish act and I'm feeling guilty, that's all.'

Dara turned back to her husband. He sat completely nude on the sofa,  watching her with a look so concerned it melted her heart. If she told  him any more she would only regret it in the morning. It wasn't that she  feared his judgement. In fact it was completely the opposite. She  feared his pity.

Leo had taken the news of her infertility in his stride from the moment  she'd revealed her secret to him. He had been understanding, and he had  helped her to realize that her condition did not define her.

To bring up all those old insecurities now would only belittle how far they had come as a couple.

That was the thing, though-she wasn't quite so confident that she had  ever rid herself of them at all. Rather, she had just chosen to focus on  being the beautiful woman that Leo made her feel she was and ignored  the sad and broken woman of her past.

She bit her lip. Leo was looking at her intensely, waiting for her to  speak. She couldn't tell him the truth, not tonight anyway.

'I'm sorry. I feel like I've ruined this wonderful night with my own  silly ramblings.' She shook her head, banishing the dark thoughts from  her mind.                       
       
           



       

She walked to him and straddled his lap.

'Dara, we're having quite a serious conversation here, and I will find  it very difficult to concentrate with you in this position.'

He shifted, but she moulded her body even closer to him.

'I've had enough talking for tonight.' She leaned over him, nipping his  earlobe just hard enough to make him groan. 'You said we have  twenty-two days to make up for, and I plan on obeying my husband's  wishes.'

She smiled wickedly, banishing all other thoughts from their minds as their bodies instinctively moved against each other.

* * *

Leo sat on the terrace, looking out at the midday winter sun shining on  the choppy waves of the bay. Most of their morning had been spent in  bed, making up for lost time. But some time after brunch Dara had found  herself taking a call from Mia about something vitally important. Rather  than being annoyed at the interruption, Leo had once again been  impressed at how much his wife's company relied on her.

She ran Devlin Events like a well-oiled machine-just as he would  expect. But still her staff looked to her for guidance, and felt  comfortable in doing so. This was one of the main reasons for her  skyrocketing success. Her employees were satisfied, and therefore so  were her clients. Add that to the fact that she was unbelievably  talented and passionate, and it could only be a recipe for success.

He watched her through the terrace doors as she booted up her tablet  computer and wielded it like a clipboard. She was tense, even after a  night of being thoroughly made love to.

Her revelation about her trips to the orphanage had confused him. Dara  had never shown any interest in children. He had never even seen her  speak to a child, not to mention drive out of her way to go and visit  one. But recently he had begun to feel a distance between them. They  both had busy careers, but they usually made sure to keep time for each  other.

Leo stood, suddenly needing to walk. He took the path down along the  cliff-face-the same path he'd used to take as a boy. He stopped on the  flight of steps that led down to the old boathouse, remembering his  childhood self rushing down the stone steps, furiously trying to hold in  the tears and escape his nightmarish life. Living with a mentally ill  mother had forced him to live in silence. His formative years had been  spent in isolation, and in fear of upsetting her with his mere presence.

Those memories no longer held the same dark power over him-not since  Dara had come into his life. Now every time he walked down here he was  reminded that he was happier than either of his parents had ever been.

Right now, he was impressed that the little boathouse was still  standing. He pushed the door open with a creak and ducked his head  inside.

A row of plastic boxes lined the floor-he had insulated the place last  year, once they had decided to use it for storage rather than leave it  to rot. Flipping the lid of the box nearest the window, Leo idly  surveyed the contents. A collection of coloured yo-yos lay inside, once  his favourite boyhood hobby. He picked up a red one and spun the yarn  tightly between the circular wooden discs.

He had spent many days inside these four walls, practising his skills  and hoping for someone to show them to. He held the yo-yo tight in his  hand before letting it fall to the ground and bouncing it back up  easily. His tricks had been numerous, all learned from a book he had got  as a gift from his father. He knew now that his father's secretary had  probably chosen it, but at the time he had taken it as a challenge to  impress the old man. And, as he did with most tasks, he'd poured his  heart and soul into it.

In a way he was no different from the little boy who had captured his  wife's attention. Leo might not have been an orphan, but he knew what it  meant to crave a connection. He had that with Dara now-he felt the  completeness that came from the love of a good woman. He had poured all  his efforts into creating a life together with his beautiful wife.

Since meeting Dara he had slowly lost interest in the party  scene-except for when he opened up a new club. As a bachelor, he had  spent his leisure time mainly involved in drinking too much and buying  the fastest cars. He'd had no difficulty living in hotels for months at a  time. He hadn't known what it meant to have a home.

Dara had shown him just how fulfilling life could be. But now he got  the feeling that she felt their life was lacking somehow. If she was  happy, why was she escaping to Syracuse every chance she could get?

An image of the longing in her eyes when she spoke about the child  there filled his mind. It was suddenly blindingly clear that Dara had  developed a newfound yearning for motherhood. And somehow that yearning  wasn't something she felt comfortable sharing with him. The thought  jarred him, leaving an uncomfortable knot in his stomach.                       
       
           



       

Leo ran a hand through his hair and threw the yo-yo back into the box.  He had never once questioned Dara's steadfast opinion on family. She had  made it clear that she would never have children, and that had suited  them both. The idea of fatherhood had never been something he aspired  to. His own father had been a spectre in his life-one who had drifted in  and out, leaving him uncertain and confused. As an adult he had never  once considered the idea of starting a family of his own.

But lately he had begun to grow tired of the constant travelling. These  days the only place he wanted to be was here, with his wife, in their  true home. He had wanted to say that to her last night, but they had got  sidetracked.

He walked back to the castello just as evening was setting in and found  Dara waiting for him in the kitchen. A bottle of vintage Prosecco sat  on the table, two glasses beside it.

'I'm sorry I took so long.' She winced, pouring him a generous glass of wine.

Leo took a sip, appreciating the taste for a moment before shrugging.  'You have a business to run, carina. I have to accept that I can never  have you all to myself.'

'I've turned my phone off for the evening, so I am one hundred per cent  yours. No distractions.' She smiled, pressing her mouth to his.