The First Last Boy(32)

Ryan was setting plates at the table. He looked handsome and relaxed.  Probably took a trip to Skanksville last night and Juvante just hadn't  wanted to tell me. "You cooked."

"Figured I'd better take that over if I didn't want to starve while I'm here."

I sat at the table and brought my knees up in the chair with me.  Reaching for a piece of bacon, I said, "Did you already wake Mark?"

"I let him sleep."

"You look relaxed."

His eyebrows rose. "I slept pretty hard."

"I'll bet." I couldn't hide the jealousy in my tone and I called myself  all kinds of a fool. I had no right to be jealous. Ryan wasn't mine to  feel that way about. I took a bite of the bacon. Ryan and the faceless  skank could screw happily ever after for all I cared. Oh, bullshit. "Who  was she?"

"Does it matter?"

I nearly choked on the bacon. So I was right and Juvante had lied to me.  Ryan had been with another girl. "No, I guess not." I put my hand on my  stomach. The bacon wanted to do an encore. "Juvante was here last  night. He wouldn't tell me why, but I guess I know now." My cell phone  buzzed and I checked the text. I didn't recognize the number. Maybe one  of Mom's friends. Tell your Mom I said hi.

"What is it?" Ryan walked around the table and looked over my shoulder.

After he read the text, he stepped back and said, "Fuck!"

"What? Is it the text?"

"No...I remembered I have to do something before I go to work. I'll be  back before you need to leave and you can take the Charger." He was out  the front door before I had time to say a word.







RYAN



I knew where Chanos would be and I drove straight there. I shoved  through the front door of the pool hall and waited a second to let my  eyes adjust to the dim light. Chanos was in the corner of the bar with a  couple of guys I didn't recognize.         

     



 

He waved me over and then tapped his palm on the bar. "One for my  friend." With a wide smile, he rose from the stool. "The prodigal son is  coming back into the fold."

"I told you I was in, but you're way off trying to rattle me about Tana. She was just a fuck."

Chanos' dark eyes searched my face and he nodded. "Then you won't mind if I have a go at that?"

I took a step toward him and his muscle sprang up to flank him.

Laughing, Chanos said, "You can't bullshit me. You never could." The  laughter faded and his eyes grew stony. "You needed reminding where your  loyalties are. It's the brotherhood over pussy. You feel me?" He moved  into my space, a guy move for measuring dicks. I'd once done whatever  Chanos had asked of me, but I wasn't a kid anymore.

"I'm not the same guy you knew," I said.

"Not the same?" Chanos laughed. "That's like saying you can take the  devil out of hell, stick him in a business suit and he's suddenly a  decent fucking guy." He slapped my chest. "You're still who you've  always been. You've just taken a hiatus from the things you used to do."  He snapped his fingers over his shoulder. "Give me the phone." The guy  to his right passed him a phone and Chanos swiped his finger across it.  "Here. Take a look at this."

The first picture was of Mama Leena getting into her car after work. The  second one of Destiny at a fast food restaurant. The third was of Ms.  Shaw in the hospital. The fourth of Tana waiting tables at her job. I  stopped looking and returned the phone. I didn't need to see any more.

He smirked. "It would be a shame if something happened to one of them because you forgot who you belonged to."

"And it'd be a shame if something happened to you because you forgot who you were dealing with."

Chanos smiled. "I don't forget things, brother."

"Good, then make sure you remember I'll beat your ass until there's  nothing left but your goddamn teeth if you touch any of them."

"See? You are the same guy I knew. Now, let's have a drink to celebrate  our family reunion     ." He snapped his fingers at a guy behind the bar.

I took a seat on the stool as the devil opened his arms, welcoming me back to hell.





Chapter Twenty

TANA



Just like he'd promised, Ryan returned to my house before I had to leave  for my shift. He was still wearing the overalls he used for working at  the garage. He hadn't been away that long but he didn't look like the  same guy. His eyes were dark and hard like he was going through the  motion of living while not feeling anything at all.

Stepping inside the door, he kicked off his shoes and unzipped the  overalls, dropping them to his ankles. Scooping them under his arm, he  headed toward the laundry room, walking in front of the television where  I'd been watching a mindless talk show.

"The doctor gave me some news today," I said.

He stopped and turned to face me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Brooklyn took me to the hospital to visit Mom and when  I arrived, the doctor said that he's going to begin lowering the dosage  of medicine to bring Mom out of the coma. He said the swelling is down  and her brain function tests are better than he'd hoped for."

"I'm glad."

"Me too." I shut off the television and followed Ryan into the laundry  room. "Maybe we can celebrate tonight after I get off work?"

"Alright. I'll treat you and Mark to Chinese takeout if you'd like."

"Do you want to come to the hospital with me tomorrow?"

"I can't. I've got things to do." He opened the washer and dumped the overalls inside, then frowned at the row of knobs.

"Let me." I set the cycle, added the detergent and switched the machine  on. Both of us tried to move toward the door at the same time and we  collided.

"Sorry," I said, but didn't move.

He raised his hand and stopped just shy of touching my face. His smile was tight, regretful. "I'm covered in grease."

"I know." The room seemed to grow smaller with each breath that I took.

"I know this isn't going to make much sense right now, but someday, when  you're off at college and you think of me, I want you to remember  something."

"What's that?"

"That I wish things could have been different. I wish I could have loved you."

Could have. But didn't. Got the message loud and clear. "Okay."         

     



 

He exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath. "I should probably take a shower."

"Okay." He left and I sagged against the washer.

"Is Ryan here?" Creature poked his head into the room. He and Jason had been playing outside for the last hour.

"He went to take a shower."

"Cool."

"When he gets out, I'm leaving for work, okay?"

"Okay," he said in a dismissive tone and ran back outside.

I sighed and pulled my uniform from the hanger to lay it across the  dryer. Nudging the laundry door closed with my foot, I stripped to my  bra and panties and reached for the short blue dress. The door swung  open and Ryan was there in his jeans and no shirt. His eyes swept over  me and I caught the hunger in them before he looked at the washer. "My  watch was in my pocket."

"Oh." I spun around and lifted the lid. Leaning into the washer, I  fished out the sopping material and ran my hand into the pocket to grasp  the watch. I held the wet offering out to Ryan. His hand closed over it  and my fingers. I wiggled my hand free and picked up my uniform. "I  have to leave." I turned around and slid the dress over my head,  shimmying the stretchy material down over my hips. When I reached around  my back to work up the zipper, Ryan brushed my hands aside and zipped  it up.

I faced him, mouth dry, heart beating fast. "Thanks."

"You'll need my keys."

I dropped my eyes to his jeans and then jerked my gaze away. He didn't  go for his keys. Holding out my hand, I raised an eyebrow and said,  "Unless you'd like me to dig them out?"

He dropped them into my hand. "The Charger has a lot of power. Are you sure you can handle it?"

I smiled. "I handled its owner didn't I?"

Ryan smiled back. "Yeah, you did."

"Then I'd say I'm good." Electricity charged around us and if I didn't  know better, didn't know that Ryan thought we were a mistake, I'd think  that he did care more than he let on. Which was crazy. He wasn't  interested in loving me.







RYAN



Mark and I played video games until he got bored and wanted to go  outside and play with some of the neighborhood kids. I took his bike out  of the garage, pumped up the tire and told him not to ride too far. He  hopped onto the bike and started to pedal off when I saw the helmet  lying near where the bike had been.

"Hey, wait. Put that on."

He looked at it, then at me. "I don't have to wear it."

"Does your mom usually make you wear it?"

He hesitated, then shook his head. "She says it's up to me."

"Bullshit. Put the helmet on."